Accentuate the Positive
I think there is a lot of confusion about positivism. I see so many articles that poo-poo it or even suggest that it is a bad thing. They suggest that being positive isn’t being realistic. I’m serious.
I have worked with people who say, “I’m just naturally pessimistic. I can’t be happy.” And after a while they see the light. Or they leave. They get to choose.
Why am I positive? What makes me choose? How do I know I can decide?
Here’s what I think. I used to be wonderful at finding the dark side. I lived at Bleak House. If there was a flaw, I spotted it, and then worried it, often into something awful.
Nothing was ever just nice. I always had to find the ick in it. At the very least if I couldn’t find anything to complain about, I would decide that “it” just wasn’t good enough. There wasn’t ever something so nice I couldn’t find the flaw. I was always disappointed. Can you imagine? Well, don’t, really, it wasn’t very fun.
The articles suggest that being positive avoids looking at the way things are. There isn’t a “way things are.” There is only the way things seem to be, and that is all based on how we look at it.
This is a very simple concept. I filter my world in order to chunk it down to something manageable. Without this ability to filter, I would be completely overwhelmed with sensory data, and not able to discern anything. By filtering, I am making maps of the world in my mind, but they are not the world any more than a photograph of a puppy is a puppy. “The map is not the territory,” said Alfred Korzybski.
I can use sunny filters or poopy filters, and they are both just filters. It is just a choice, and it’s not about denying “the reality.” I have to choose a filter, so why not pick one that makes me feel strong?
What makes me choose? How do I know I am competent? What makes me strong?
Depression, struggle, suffering, misery, hopelessness are not places of strength. It takes strength to choose to see the good, for most of us it isn’t automatic. We mislearn to look for stuff to complain about. And we can learn to look for stuff to take joy in.
I know there is war, and poverty, and sickness, and torture, slavery and so on. I know that. I do what I can to make a difference in the things that matter to me, pray about them, let it go, and get back to living. Dwelling on those things that trouble me is borrowing trouble. They are not the only “reality.”
I have stuff in my life, too, that isn’t always great. I do what I can, and let that go, too. My challenges are not the only “reality.” I accept and move on. And look for beauty, and find joy, and appreciate the good, and have fun. I value enjoyment. If I can find a way to enjoy, I can do almost anything.
Choosing to look for the good changes our moods. Finding the positive releases lovely neurochemicals and hormones into our bodies that help us feel good. They give us energy. They help us feel light. Doing the doom and gloom trip drops stress hormones and neurochems, and they make us feel dark and tired.
How have I changed from living in the dark to stepping into the sunshine?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07252014
