The Resource Doubt
I drew the Easy card this morning. I love Easy. Play easy, work easy, sleep easy, eat easy, love easy.
A lot of us don’t have a clue what Easy means. We struggle from the moment we awake to the moment we fall into restless sleep. Good things happen to us and we fight being happy. There is no sunny day for us that doesn’t have a rotten lining. And our clouds, well, we’d never even look for their silver lining.
Our minds, our thoughts are full of beliefs that hurt us. And when we are in pain, we exude pain, we scatter seeds of unhappiness. We seek out expressions on the faces of our loved ones of this shared unhappiness; frowns, worried foreheads, sorrow, pity, anger, the list goes on. I would much rather have a loved one’s face show they are happy for me, rather than feeling sorry for me, but they respond to what I give them. It’s back in my court.
So here is a super valuable tip, treasure beyond measure in our quest for a natural life of joy, and satisfaction, love, and abundance.
Doubt.
So often it seems like we are encouraged to banish our doubt; to have faith. Well, dear one, it isn’t an across-the-board thing. I need to apply both my doubt and faith with great care, and they will serve me with excellent results.
The best way I’ve found to practice Doubt is by using questions. I know, you are so shocked, yes? My goal is to dissolve my unsupportive beliefs. My goal is to eliminate my negative attitudes and behaviors. My goal is to live my natural life.
First, I need to identify an unsupportive belief: Life is Hard. That’s a good one. Or Suffering is the Human Condition. That’s another good one.
Second, I want to identify the belief I would rather be living. Life is Easy. Or I live in Joy. Those are both nice.
Third, doubt. What if life isn’t hard? What if life can be easy? What if it is my choice how I live? What if I can live an easy life? How would my life change if I lived easy? How would I feel if my life were easy? What makes me live an easy life? Why is it so easy? Oh, the glorious relief!
Here’s another example. What if suffering isn’t required? What if suffering is a choice? What if I can choose happiness? How would my life change if I didn’t suffer? How would I feel if I were happy? What makes me life a life of happiness? Why am I so happy?
Now, that question, “How would my life change if...?” is an important one to consider. We have our crappy, unsupported beliefs for reasons. Sometimes, we consider making a fundamental change, and we feel scared. There is good information there. Information about more unsupportive beliefs. Poking around in our beliefs, throwing out the ones that suck, and developing the lovely ones is really worth it.
The most important journey we can take is the one we take inside ourselves.
What makes me question my beliefs?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03162013
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Friday, March 15, 2013
Stillness Grotto
Stillness Grotto
Stop for a bit. Let your jaw relax. Now your shoulders. And belly. Breathe all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, slowly. Breathe out all the way, slowly.
Let yourself become aware of stillness. Perhaps it is outside of you. Perhaps you can find it within. Let your awareness focus on the point of stillness you’ve found. Soften your breath. Soften your thoughts. Let them flow past your awareness, like a little brook. Let stillness fill your awareness. Mark the spot so you can come back to it.
Cultivating stillness is such a nice occupation. Sort of like growing lovely, fragrant flowers in your garden. With a bubbling fountain and chirping birds, a hammock, refreshing beverage, and no cares. Mmmm.
The best part is that now I have my internal GPS set to go there any ol’ time I want.
Agitated co-worker? I can choose to go to Yell-y Street with them, or go to Stillness Grotto. Crabby kids? Snarky neighbors? Boorish clerks? Not one of them can make me go to that place, only me. I prefer peace.
Sure didn’t used to be like that. Used to be I was a drama machine! Agony! Strife! Hell on Earth! Despair! and By Cracky, I was going to take you there with me!
How sad for me. All the nice I missed because I was so invested in misery. And the few moments of peace I had were scary, like I was dead or something.
Most of us can’t play Bach Inventions on the piano until we learn how. That takes learning to play the piano. And that takes regular practice. This is a place where the old saw, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten,” pays off. If I practice going to my Stillness Grotto every day, I will carve a path through the forest of synapses in my brain, and can get there easily when I need to. Easy.
Frequenting that pathway has other benefits. Going to stillness and deep relaxation everyday, by whatever means you like best, is like hitting a reset button.
A physical therapist told me in the Before Years that if I went to bed tense, I would wake up tenser, and if I went to bed relaxed, I would wake up relaxeder. It has seemed to be true, at least for me. I like waking up relaxeder.
I use a body scan technique I learned back when God was a kid to soften everything before I go to sleep. I practice qigong daily to be still and centered, (and hilarified. Qigong is the wackiest movement program I’ve ever done.) I practice softening body and mind many times a day. My path to stillness is so worn, you could probably follow it!
Being still, being present, feeling in harmony, in order or balance, this skill as much as anything we can do, allows us to move past whatever might be going on in our outer lives, and nestle up with our natural life, even if just for a few moments. And that is just nice.
How have I changed from choosing frantic to stopping for a while in stillness?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03152013
PS -- If you have any photos that help you feel still, send them on in. We'll make a Presentation out of them!
Stop for a bit. Let your jaw relax. Now your shoulders. And belly. Breathe all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, slowly. Breathe out all the way, slowly.
Let yourself become aware of stillness. Perhaps it is outside of you. Perhaps you can find it within. Let your awareness focus on the point of stillness you’ve found. Soften your breath. Soften your thoughts. Let them flow past your awareness, like a little brook. Let stillness fill your awareness. Mark the spot so you can come back to it.
Cultivating stillness is such a nice occupation. Sort of like growing lovely, fragrant flowers in your garden. With a bubbling fountain and chirping birds, a hammock, refreshing beverage, and no cares. Mmmm.
The best part is that now I have my internal GPS set to go there any ol’ time I want.
Agitated co-worker? I can choose to go to Yell-y Street with them, or go to Stillness Grotto. Crabby kids? Snarky neighbors? Boorish clerks? Not one of them can make me go to that place, only me. I prefer peace.
Sure didn’t used to be like that. Used to be I was a drama machine! Agony! Strife! Hell on Earth! Despair! and By Cracky, I was going to take you there with me!
How sad for me. All the nice I missed because I was so invested in misery. And the few moments of peace I had were scary, like I was dead or something.
Most of us can’t play Bach Inventions on the piano until we learn how. That takes learning to play the piano. And that takes regular practice. This is a place where the old saw, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten,” pays off. If I practice going to my Stillness Grotto every day, I will carve a path through the forest of synapses in my brain, and can get there easily when I need to. Easy.
Frequenting that pathway has other benefits. Going to stillness and deep relaxation everyday, by whatever means you like best, is like hitting a reset button.
A physical therapist told me in the Before Years that if I went to bed tense, I would wake up tenser, and if I went to bed relaxed, I would wake up relaxeder. It has seemed to be true, at least for me. I like waking up relaxeder.
I use a body scan technique I learned back when God was a kid to soften everything before I go to sleep. I practice qigong daily to be still and centered, (and hilarified. Qigong is the wackiest movement program I’ve ever done.) I practice softening body and mind many times a day. My path to stillness is so worn, you could probably follow it!
Being still, being present, feeling in harmony, in order or balance, this skill as much as anything we can do, allows us to move past whatever might be going on in our outer lives, and nestle up with our natural life, even if just for a few moments. And that is just nice.
How have I changed from choosing frantic to stopping for a while in stillness?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03152013
PS -- If you have any photos that help you feel still, send them on in. We'll make a Presentation out of them!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Journey to the Center of My Universe
Journey to the Center of My Universe
Your inner three year old was right: You are the center of the universe. Well, the center of your universe. And while we learn to see someone else’s point of view, to feel empathy and compassion, we are still the center of our universe.
Accepting that will save us a lot of energy; clearing off some layers of pretending that we aren’t the center. Others can be very important. Children or partners can be our primary focus, but they are not our core.
Only I am at my own core.
This is one of the reasons that it behooves us to like, and love, ourselves. When we disapprove of, or dislike, or otherwise negatively judge ourselves, we create a disconnect. We often describe it as a black hole inside, or a hollowness or emptiness. It’s what are feeling when we feel lonely in a crowd.
By forgiving ourselves, or accepting us as we are, by choosing to love ourselves unconditionally, we close that hole, we repair the rift, and feel whole again. It’s just a choice. Simple.
Maybe not so easy.
But here’s the thing. Hating ourselves until we do X doesn’t really do anything for us except establish us in the habit of hating. If I hate me, it’s way easier for me to hate you, and the more I hate, well, that’s just scary to think about.
Choosing to love myself is not only the greatest gift I can give me, it’s the greatest gift I can give the world. Loving myself, accepting that I am alone at my core, is the best model I can be for my children and loved ones. Once I get there, the rest is pretty easy. It’s the beginning of living my natural life.
Living my natural life brings the most wonderful things to me; peace, contentment, satisfaction, abundance, prosperity, opportunity. Success is easy. Relationships are easy. Radiant health is easy. When I do stuff, I have chosen to do it, and I do it well. It is easy for me to always do my best.
Living my natural life means that I feel tapped into my Source most of the time. It means that I am not stuck in thinking about my Problems and Blocks and Challenges and Demands but I am finding solutions, and answers, and options, and choices. It means that things tend to go my way.
Living my natural life means that it is easier for me to see you at your core. It is easier for me to feel compassion for you, to let go my negative judgements of you, my frustrations. It makes it really easy to love you and to support you.
I’d say that’s a big payoff for one little choice.
How have I changed from choosing to hate myself to choosing to love and accept me as I am?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03142013
Your inner three year old was right: You are the center of the universe. Well, the center of your universe. And while we learn to see someone else’s point of view, to feel empathy and compassion, we are still the center of our universe.
Accepting that will save us a lot of energy; clearing off some layers of pretending that we aren’t the center. Others can be very important. Children or partners can be our primary focus, but they are not our core.
Only I am at my own core.
This is one of the reasons that it behooves us to like, and love, ourselves. When we disapprove of, or dislike, or otherwise negatively judge ourselves, we create a disconnect. We often describe it as a black hole inside, or a hollowness or emptiness. It’s what are feeling when we feel lonely in a crowd.
By forgiving ourselves, or accepting us as we are, by choosing to love ourselves unconditionally, we close that hole, we repair the rift, and feel whole again. It’s just a choice. Simple.
Maybe not so easy.
But here’s the thing. Hating ourselves until we do X doesn’t really do anything for us except establish us in the habit of hating. If I hate me, it’s way easier for me to hate you, and the more I hate, well, that’s just scary to think about.
Choosing to love myself is not only the greatest gift I can give me, it’s the greatest gift I can give the world. Loving myself, accepting that I am alone at my core, is the best model I can be for my children and loved ones. Once I get there, the rest is pretty easy. It’s the beginning of living my natural life.
Living my natural life brings the most wonderful things to me; peace, contentment, satisfaction, abundance, prosperity, opportunity. Success is easy. Relationships are easy. Radiant health is easy. When I do stuff, I have chosen to do it, and I do it well. It is easy for me to always do my best.
Living my natural life means that I feel tapped into my Source most of the time. It means that I am not stuck in thinking about my Problems and Blocks and Challenges and Demands but I am finding solutions, and answers, and options, and choices. It means that things tend to go my way.
Living my natural life means that it is easier for me to see you at your core. It is easier for me to feel compassion for you, to let go my negative judgements of you, my frustrations. It makes it really easy to love you and to support you.
I’d say that’s a big payoff for one little choice.
How have I changed from choosing to hate myself to choosing to love and accept me as I am?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03142013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Five Tips for Being a Grown Up
Five Tips for Being a Grown Up
Wow. I will say upfront that you may not want to read this today. What follows is tough stuff that takes courage and self-love to accomplish. I know you are worth it. I know you can do it. I know you have the strength and the resource. I throw down the gauntlet. Will you take the challenge?
What a time we are having. Work issues, health issues, relationship issues, money issues. I am hearing so many of you talk about being depressed,or scared, or really angry. Things are a-churning right now, and there are things you can do to make getting through it easier.
Thing One. Slow down. That can take a lot of forms. Deep breathing while you are grocery shopping. Listening to soothing music in the car as you run your kids around and do errands. Practice “walking meditations” as you clean the house, or yard, or car. You may be surprised how slowing down inside lets you accomplish more. It sharpens your focus, and improves your efficiency, and it can make stuff way more enjoyable.
Thing Two. Relax your mind and body. There is nothing that can’t be made worse by stressing out about it. Worry is the heroin of the mind. It’s horribly addictive and does nothing beneficial while making you feel like you are doing something. This is Truth. Do what you need to do to stop worrying about “it.” Shooting heroin will not help you stop worrying. Things will unfold better if you are calm. If you need help learning to relax, get it. It is a skill that is supremely worth cultivating.
Thing Three. Stop blaming. Blaming is a pointless exercise that just poops in your energy field. It is an ultra-low frequency activity. Like worry, it is addictive, and stems from the idea that I am a victim of you. I am only ever a victim of me. Someone might have done terrible things to me, but only I can make me a victim. Only I can choose to step out of it into my natural life and live in my particular circumstances with joy and dignity. All it takes it choosing to be a grownup instead of a victim.
Thing Four. Assess. Anger is the belief that what we need is being denied us. Fear is the thought that what we have will be taken from us. Practice step one above, and step two. Get yourself calm, and look at your current situation with those two thoughts about what we have and what we need. Re-evaluate what you are doing, and see where you can change stuff. The challenging question is “How am I making these situations worse?” Answer it. Own your part. That’s what grownups do.
Thing Five. Wait. Hit the pause button. Drama is awesome in opera, but it is exhausting in real life. It is another activity that poops in your energy field. “I can’t! You never! You always! Nothing ever works/changes! Nobody! Everybody!” This rhetoric is a sign that the Diva or Divo is in the house. They cost plenty, and really aren’t worth it. If you feel inclined to BIG it up, wait. Do not, while things are churny, make big decisions unless you are in danger. Walk away if you need to in order to calm your self. Saying hurtful things to someone you love can stick with them forever. (Yes, by their choice, but you get my drift.)
Lots of people are feeling this way right now. Treat us with the compassion, patience, kindness and love that you’d like to get back, and you’ll get a lot more than if you let your pissed off inner 5 year old run the show.
Why do I choose to behave like a grown up?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03132013
Wow. I will say upfront that you may not want to read this today. What follows is tough stuff that takes courage and self-love to accomplish. I know you are worth it. I know you can do it. I know you have the strength and the resource. I throw down the gauntlet. Will you take the challenge?
What a time we are having. Work issues, health issues, relationship issues, money issues. I am hearing so many of you talk about being depressed,or scared, or really angry. Things are a-churning right now, and there are things you can do to make getting through it easier.
Thing One. Slow down. That can take a lot of forms. Deep breathing while you are grocery shopping. Listening to soothing music in the car as you run your kids around and do errands. Practice “walking meditations” as you clean the house, or yard, or car. You may be surprised how slowing down inside lets you accomplish more. It sharpens your focus, and improves your efficiency, and it can make stuff way more enjoyable.
Thing Two. Relax your mind and body. There is nothing that can’t be made worse by stressing out about it. Worry is the heroin of the mind. It’s horribly addictive and does nothing beneficial while making you feel like you are doing something. This is Truth. Do what you need to do to stop worrying about “it.” Shooting heroin will not help you stop worrying. Things will unfold better if you are calm. If you need help learning to relax, get it. It is a skill that is supremely worth cultivating.
Thing Three. Stop blaming. Blaming is a pointless exercise that just poops in your energy field. It is an ultra-low frequency activity. Like worry, it is addictive, and stems from the idea that I am a victim of you. I am only ever a victim of me. Someone might have done terrible things to me, but only I can make me a victim. Only I can choose to step out of it into my natural life and live in my particular circumstances with joy and dignity. All it takes it choosing to be a grownup instead of a victim.
Thing Four. Assess. Anger is the belief that what we need is being denied us. Fear is the thought that what we have will be taken from us. Practice step one above, and step two. Get yourself calm, and look at your current situation with those two thoughts about what we have and what we need. Re-evaluate what you are doing, and see where you can change stuff. The challenging question is “How am I making these situations worse?” Answer it. Own your part. That’s what grownups do.
Thing Five. Wait. Hit the pause button. Drama is awesome in opera, but it is exhausting in real life. It is another activity that poops in your energy field. “I can’t! You never! You always! Nothing ever works/changes! Nobody! Everybody!” This rhetoric is a sign that the Diva or Divo is in the house. They cost plenty, and really aren’t worth it. If you feel inclined to BIG it up, wait. Do not, while things are churny, make big decisions unless you are in danger. Walk away if you need to in order to calm your self. Saying hurtful things to someone you love can stick with them forever. (Yes, by their choice, but you get my drift.)
Lots of people are feeling this way right now. Treat us with the compassion, patience, kindness and love that you’d like to get back, and you’ll get a lot more than if you let your pissed off inner 5 year old run the show.
Why do I choose to behave like a grown up?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03132013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Dumping the Doubt
Dumping the Doubt
I had the joy and privilege of working with a woman last night who is brilliant, and hilarious, hugely talented, charming and lovely. And who is changing. She works two jobs, as do many of us, is raising a family of delightful children, and contending a bit with her mom.
The reason I bring her up today is that, with all her occupations, she makes time to attend to her own evolution. She knows that she’s going to be enjoying a life even more fun than the one she is living now, which is already pretty fun, by spending a little time from time to time to work on herself. (And she has the presence of mind to know that Creative Questions is a very efficient way to do that.)
In our study group, of which she’s a member) we’ve been working on our Personal Doubt; that first bit of mislearning, that first moment of doubting our perfection, that colors everything we do. Oy oy oy. It tends to be a topic like self-worth, deserving, being right, mattering, and so on; those fundamental building blocks of a healthy personal esteem. It is often painful to look at, and address, and yet, when we get it and flip it into a good Creative Question, the relief is beyond worth it.
One of the reasons we feel challenged is because we are ashamed of having that doubt. The shame shoves us headlong into an icky spiral. We feel unworthy, we feel ashamed of feeling unworthy, and that feeling of shame makes us feel more unworthy and down we go, into a place where, not only do we doubt our perfection, some of us feel convinced that our personal perfection is impossible. Poor little, sweet we.
We respond in one of two ways: We buy it, and shut down, believing that our Doubt is true. . Or we fight it tooth and nail, trying to prove that our Doubt about ourselves is false. Both choices are exhausting. Both choices are swimming upstream. And neither choice repairs the damages caused by that first moment of doubt.
This is the essential bump, that infected pimple on our self-esteem that needs to be healed. Until we hit this, things will improve, but they won’t quite sparkle.
So what do we do? How do we break out of this pattern, and get stuff moving in the direction we want?
Well first we need to identify our Personal Doubt. It’s our primary bad creative question, the one we ask the most, and usually something we are ashamed of. We can look at what we do for clues, we can listen to what we think. Remember, it’s a big, icky question that leaves us feels bad.
Once we’ve got it, we flip it into a good Creative Question. Sometimes it’s simple, Why am I not worthy? becomes Why am I worthy? But sometimes, we need to mess around with nuances. That first bad question has had a lot of time to create sub-questions, and sometimes we need to root those out in order that we might get to the tap root. So to speak.
However it goes, we are perfection in this moment, yes, and in this one, and this one. Our evolution takes us out of the loops of bad creative questions, and liberates us from judgement. As we evolve, we recognize that most of what we think not only isn’t Truth, but it’s also not even true. Phew!
How do I feel when I feel my perfection?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03122013
I had the joy and privilege of working with a woman last night who is brilliant, and hilarious, hugely talented, charming and lovely. And who is changing. She works two jobs, as do many of us, is raising a family of delightful children, and contending a bit with her mom.
The reason I bring her up today is that, with all her occupations, she makes time to attend to her own evolution. She knows that she’s going to be enjoying a life even more fun than the one she is living now, which is already pretty fun, by spending a little time from time to time to work on herself. (And she has the presence of mind to know that Creative Questions is a very efficient way to do that.)
In our study group, of which she’s a member) we’ve been working on our Personal Doubt; that first bit of mislearning, that first moment of doubting our perfection, that colors everything we do. Oy oy oy. It tends to be a topic like self-worth, deserving, being right, mattering, and so on; those fundamental building blocks of a healthy personal esteem. It is often painful to look at, and address, and yet, when we get it and flip it into a good Creative Question, the relief is beyond worth it.
One of the reasons we feel challenged is because we are ashamed of having that doubt. The shame shoves us headlong into an icky spiral. We feel unworthy, we feel ashamed of feeling unworthy, and that feeling of shame makes us feel more unworthy and down we go, into a place where, not only do we doubt our perfection, some of us feel convinced that our personal perfection is impossible. Poor little, sweet we.
We respond in one of two ways: We buy it, and shut down, believing that our Doubt is true. . Or we fight it tooth and nail, trying to prove that our Doubt about ourselves is false. Both choices are exhausting. Both choices are swimming upstream. And neither choice repairs the damages caused by that first moment of doubt.
This is the essential bump, that infected pimple on our self-esteem that needs to be healed. Until we hit this, things will improve, but they won’t quite sparkle.
So what do we do? How do we break out of this pattern, and get stuff moving in the direction we want?
Well first we need to identify our Personal Doubt. It’s our primary bad creative question, the one we ask the most, and usually something we are ashamed of. We can look at what we do for clues, we can listen to what we think. Remember, it’s a big, icky question that leaves us feels bad.
Once we’ve got it, we flip it into a good Creative Question. Sometimes it’s simple, Why am I not worthy? becomes Why am I worthy? But sometimes, we need to mess around with nuances. That first bad question has had a lot of time to create sub-questions, and sometimes we need to root those out in order that we might get to the tap root. So to speak.
However it goes, we are perfection in this moment, yes, and in this one, and this one. Our evolution takes us out of the loops of bad creative questions, and liberates us from judgement. As we evolve, we recognize that most of what we think not only isn’t Truth, but it’s also not even true. Phew!
How do I feel when I feel my perfection?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03122013
Monday, March 11, 2013
What if it’s All Just For You?
What if it’s All Just For You?
I love the days when I get two cards for us at once. The combination is so fun to consider. Today I pulled, “Why am I active?” and “Why is all creation for my well-being?” It’s like [Insert your-favorite-gift-receiving-holiday here.]
As a single person with no children, I consider it my duty to live a life of fun, exciting, interesting stuff. I take that responsibility very seriously, while frequently laughing my head off.
So I look at those two cards, and I have to wonder, “What delights does the world hold for me today? What fun, what engagement, what entertainment or connection, what unexpected source of support, or refreshing influence awaits my attention today?” Aren’t those great questions? I feel all a-twitter!
What a long way from the days when I would get up and weep at the thought of having to slog and trudge my way through another day of boring, tedious, routinized grossness, full of unrelieved physical discomfort in the company of stupid, boring people. No, really, I felt like that. There were days when I couldn't even get out of bed because the world was so full of suck.
The saddest thing is that it was all in my head. Just my lousy filters.
The world is so huge, so full of everything imaginable, that we can choose to look at it any ol’ way we please. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather see the kindness and gentleness, the fun, the joy and exuberance, the generosity and health, the wealth and abundance, plenty and prosperity, than the putrefaction I used to seek out.
I would rather see me as a nice person who is living her best life, who recognizes herself as a Divine Creation, whose job it is to have as much fun as she can squeeze into every day regardless of what she’s doing, than the waste of skin and breath I used to feel like.
In the before years, I used to hear the phrase, “attitude adjustment” and I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, it put my dander up. The simple truth is that I didn’t believe we had any control over how we feel or what we think. I didn’t think I had any control over anything. I had little sense of cause and effect, except that drugs and alcohol made me feel different. I felt a victim to my thoughts. I felt a victim to my emotions, to the extent that I pushed them down so far it took me years to find them. I thought all relationships pretty much sucked and you just had to suffer with that.
I am so happy that I was about as wrong as wrong gets.
In the before years, I went at a dead run for 18-20 hours a day. I worked three jobs. I was taking University classes. I avoided socializing. I was running as fast as I could away from me. Have you ever tried that? It doesn’t work.
Now, I’ve gotta say, I am still active, but I am totally in, and into, my life. I have fun. I spend time with people I am crazy about. I have time built into my schedule for nuthin. And for spontaneous stuff, too. How much better can better get?
How have I changed from plodding along to enjoying to the fullest the gifts each day brings?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03112013
I love the days when I get two cards for us at once. The combination is so fun to consider. Today I pulled, “Why am I active?” and “Why is all creation for my well-being?” It’s like [Insert your-favorite-gift-receiving-holiday here.]
As a single person with no children, I consider it my duty to live a life of fun, exciting, interesting stuff. I take that responsibility very seriously, while frequently laughing my head off.
So I look at those two cards, and I have to wonder, “What delights does the world hold for me today? What fun, what engagement, what entertainment or connection, what unexpected source of support, or refreshing influence awaits my attention today?” Aren’t those great questions? I feel all a-twitter!
What a long way from the days when I would get up and weep at the thought of having to slog and trudge my way through another day of boring, tedious, routinized grossness, full of unrelieved physical discomfort in the company of stupid, boring people. No, really, I felt like that. There were days when I couldn't even get out of bed because the world was so full of suck.
The saddest thing is that it was all in my head. Just my lousy filters.
The world is so huge, so full of everything imaginable, that we can choose to look at it any ol’ way we please. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather see the kindness and gentleness, the fun, the joy and exuberance, the generosity and health, the wealth and abundance, plenty and prosperity, than the putrefaction I used to seek out.
I would rather see me as a nice person who is living her best life, who recognizes herself as a Divine Creation, whose job it is to have as much fun as she can squeeze into every day regardless of what she’s doing, than the waste of skin and breath I used to feel like.
In the before years, I used to hear the phrase, “attitude adjustment” and I will tell you from the bottom of my heart, it put my dander up. The simple truth is that I didn’t believe we had any control over how we feel or what we think. I didn’t think I had any control over anything. I had little sense of cause and effect, except that drugs and alcohol made me feel different. I felt a victim to my thoughts. I felt a victim to my emotions, to the extent that I pushed them down so far it took me years to find them. I thought all relationships pretty much sucked and you just had to suffer with that.
I am so happy that I was about as wrong as wrong gets.
In the before years, I went at a dead run for 18-20 hours a day. I worked three jobs. I was taking University classes. I avoided socializing. I was running as fast as I could away from me. Have you ever tried that? It doesn’t work.
Now, I’ve gotta say, I am still active, but I am totally in, and into, my life. I have fun. I spend time with people I am crazy about. I have time built into my schedule for nuthin. And for spontaneous stuff, too. How much better can better get?
How have I changed from plodding along to enjoying to the fullest the gifts each day brings?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03112013
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Say What?
Say What?
When someone says, “Put out your hands, and close your eyes, and you will get a nice surprise,” or some version of that, do you extend your fists? Or soft hands, palms open?
There are times and places for tight, clenched, hard, closed. But it certainly doesn’t get us very far in our relationships if we are looking for more intimacy..
So many of us think that we need to be tough. We need to hide our feelings, hide what we think, who we are. Why would I choose to be open?
There is a huge difference between not whining, and being tough. There is a difference between “I’m tired.” and “I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiired!” Sometimes it’s fun to whine, when we use it as a treat, so to speak. When we let it become a habit, it’s is clenching, not being open. What makes me say?
At the same time, if we have already established a habit of nagging, or picking, or criticizing, then holding tight on those words is probably a good idea. I mean, have you successfully changed a behavior because of someone nagging and criticizing you? I know I haven’t; I just get defiant! If you need help to learn to talk with your loved ones about helping out, or completing homework and such, get some help.
If we have a habit of hiding how we feel, learning to express them may take some practice, and it is worth it. I was amazed at how much closer I felt with my loved ones when I told them how I felt. not whining, no drama, just clear communication.
We are clenched when we keep our secrets. Telling one trustworthy person, saying them out loud, is liberation. I’m not saying that we should tell the secrets others have entrusted us with, those are not, or don’t need to be our burden. It’s our secrets: all the little, hard bits of shame or fear that we clamp down on, trying to keep it away from everyone that we aren’t without smurch.
And notice that I said, “trustworthy” person. Many of us have a tendency to trust people who are not trustworthy. Heaven knows I have. I always knew they weren’t, but trusted anyway, and got burned. I thought that it was proof that I needed to stay shut down and protect myself. I found a wonderfully trustworthy person; she was my teacher for many years. I gave her every secret of mine I could think of. They didn’t burden her, and what a relief for me.
I know that if you are in the habit of holding it all in, of pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t, of keeping your feelings shut down, opening up is challenging. Believe me, I know. I remember spending an hour walking around one afternoon trying to figure out what I’d felt days before. If you need help learning to identify your emotions, get it. The payoff is amazing.
It’s also important to say what I think, but not always how I think it. That is, being forthright keeps our communication paths clear and open, but sometimes, I want to check to make sure that I’m not blaming you, or using a shaming or humiliating tone of voice. Kindness goes a long way to making forthright more palatable.
If I feel the need to shame or blame or humiliate you, if I need to shout at you, I have incomplete experiences in my history. If I feel angry all the time, or sad, or afraid, I have incomplete experiences in my history. If I haven’t been successful in resolving those traumas myself, I need to get good help. In my own case, if took me seven tries to find the wonderful teacher who helped me so much.
How have I changed from feeling bad all the time, or not feeling at all, to enjoying the fruits of my intimacy?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03102013
When someone says, “Put out your hands, and close your eyes, and you will get a nice surprise,” or some version of that, do you extend your fists? Or soft hands, palms open?
There are times and places for tight, clenched, hard, closed. But it certainly doesn’t get us very far in our relationships if we are looking for more intimacy..
So many of us think that we need to be tough. We need to hide our feelings, hide what we think, who we are. Why would I choose to be open?
There is a huge difference between not whining, and being tough. There is a difference between “I’m tired.” and “I’m tiiiiiiiiiiiired!” Sometimes it’s fun to whine, when we use it as a treat, so to speak. When we let it become a habit, it’s is clenching, not being open. What makes me say?
At the same time, if we have already established a habit of nagging, or picking, or criticizing, then holding tight on those words is probably a good idea. I mean, have you successfully changed a behavior because of someone nagging and criticizing you? I know I haven’t; I just get defiant! If you need help to learn to talk with your loved ones about helping out, or completing homework and such, get some help.
If we have a habit of hiding how we feel, learning to express them may take some practice, and it is worth it. I was amazed at how much closer I felt with my loved ones when I told them how I felt. not whining, no drama, just clear communication.
We are clenched when we keep our secrets. Telling one trustworthy person, saying them out loud, is liberation. I’m not saying that we should tell the secrets others have entrusted us with, those are not, or don’t need to be our burden. It’s our secrets: all the little, hard bits of shame or fear that we clamp down on, trying to keep it away from everyone that we aren’t without smurch.
And notice that I said, “trustworthy” person. Many of us have a tendency to trust people who are not trustworthy. Heaven knows I have. I always knew they weren’t, but trusted anyway, and got burned. I thought that it was proof that I needed to stay shut down and protect myself. I found a wonderfully trustworthy person; she was my teacher for many years. I gave her every secret of mine I could think of. They didn’t burden her, and what a relief for me.
I know that if you are in the habit of holding it all in, of pretending that everything is fine when it isn’t, of keeping your feelings shut down, opening up is challenging. Believe me, I know. I remember spending an hour walking around one afternoon trying to figure out what I’d felt days before. If you need help learning to identify your emotions, get it. The payoff is amazing.
It’s also important to say what I think, but not always how I think it. That is, being forthright keeps our communication paths clear and open, but sometimes, I want to check to make sure that I’m not blaming you, or using a shaming or humiliating tone of voice. Kindness goes a long way to making forthright more palatable.
If I feel the need to shame or blame or humiliate you, if I need to shout at you, I have incomplete experiences in my history. If I feel angry all the time, or sad, or afraid, I have incomplete experiences in my history. If I haven’t been successful in resolving those traumas myself, I need to get good help. In my own case, if took me seven tries to find the wonderful teacher who helped me so much.
How have I changed from feeling bad all the time, or not feeling at all, to enjoying the fruits of my intimacy?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03102013
Saturday, March 09, 2013
The Great Cosmic Joke
The Great Cosmic Joke
Have you picked up on the most wonderful, hilarious thing ever? It took me awhile to catch on, but oh, baby, it is rich. I love you, so I want to make sure that you are in on the joke:
Reality isn’t real.
We live from day to day with this idea that reality is a solid, immutable Thing. But that’s all just part of the joke. And until we get it, the joke is kind of on us.
I’m not saying that there’s nothing out there. There is so much out there that we can’t take it all in, so we don’t. And then we think that the stuff we have ignored isn’t there, and that the world is the way we’ve filtered it.
When I wear my pale yellow tinted glasses on cloudy days, the sun hasn’t started to shine, I just feel like I do when it does. It’s when I forget and forget I forgot that I’m wearing them that I start having trouble.
Imagine walking into a big supermarket and discovering that they don’t have a produce section. Or they don’t have a cereal aisle. Or all you see to choose from are foods that you don’t like, or that you feel sick when you eat them. I know, it’s absurd.
But that’s what we do every moment of every day. We pick and choose, unconsciously, the kind of grocery store we live in, so to speak.
Well, I don’t know about you, but if I get to choose, I want nice. I want peaceful. I want easy, loving, enjoyable life filled with delights and fun, loving friends, neato stuff to do, health and wealth.
So how, if I am creating my reality, do I do that?
I want happiness? I stop watching the news, it is meant to scare me into buying stuff. I listen to music that makes me feel happy. I watch heartwarming movies, I read books with happy endings. I think about being happy. Not about not being happy -- be aware. “I wish I were happy,” is a thought about not being happy. Insidious! Why do I love being happy?
I want wealth? I stop using phrases like “can’t afford,” “debt,” “broke.” “lack.” I start thinking about being rich; my rich house, my rich clothes, my rich foods, my rich key that I put in the rich ignition of my rich car. Vivid thoughts, smelly, soundy thoughts. I spend my rich money in my mind. How do I spend all this money and still have so much left over? I remember my future self being rich. I open wide to opportunities for money to flow into my life and pool there.
I want health? I start to dwell on health. I eliminate the emotional words like “pain,” “burning sensation,” “ache,” and find neutral terms that have no emotional baggage for me to describe my sensations. Here, too, remember that wishing is a thought about what you don’t really want. Why do I enjoy health?
Sometimes, we choose what we really think we don’t want because it gives us something we really do want. It’s called secondary gain. Being poor so we feel like we can keep it all to ourselves, being fat so we don’t need to engage, being sick because we get some kind attention. The concept of secondary gain is a painful one, believe me, I know, but it’s well worth your consideration.
How have I changed from feeling trapped to realizing that I’m in charge of my own reality?
Here is a link for some fun auditory illusions. We see the optical ones pretty often, but the auditory ones are really fun, too. ttp://listverse.com/2008/02/29/top-10-incredible-sound-illusions/
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03092013
Have you picked up on the most wonderful, hilarious thing ever? It took me awhile to catch on, but oh, baby, it is rich. I love you, so I want to make sure that you are in on the joke:
Reality isn’t real.
We live from day to day with this idea that reality is a solid, immutable Thing. But that’s all just part of the joke. And until we get it, the joke is kind of on us.
I’m not saying that there’s nothing out there. There is so much out there that we can’t take it all in, so we don’t. And then we think that the stuff we have ignored isn’t there, and that the world is the way we’ve filtered it.
When I wear my pale yellow tinted glasses on cloudy days, the sun hasn’t started to shine, I just feel like I do when it does. It’s when I forget and forget I forgot that I’m wearing them that I start having trouble.
Imagine walking into a big supermarket and discovering that they don’t have a produce section. Or they don’t have a cereal aisle. Or all you see to choose from are foods that you don’t like, or that you feel sick when you eat them. I know, it’s absurd.
But that’s what we do every moment of every day. We pick and choose, unconsciously, the kind of grocery store we live in, so to speak.
Well, I don’t know about you, but if I get to choose, I want nice. I want peaceful. I want easy, loving, enjoyable life filled with delights and fun, loving friends, neato stuff to do, health and wealth.
So how, if I am creating my reality, do I do that?
I want happiness? I stop watching the news, it is meant to scare me into buying stuff. I listen to music that makes me feel happy. I watch heartwarming movies, I read books with happy endings. I think about being happy. Not about not being happy -- be aware. “I wish I were happy,” is a thought about not being happy. Insidious! Why do I love being happy?
I want wealth? I stop using phrases like “can’t afford,” “debt,” “broke.” “lack.” I start thinking about being rich; my rich house, my rich clothes, my rich foods, my rich key that I put in the rich ignition of my rich car. Vivid thoughts, smelly, soundy thoughts. I spend my rich money in my mind. How do I spend all this money and still have so much left over? I remember my future self being rich. I open wide to opportunities for money to flow into my life and pool there.
I want health? I start to dwell on health. I eliminate the emotional words like “pain,” “burning sensation,” “ache,” and find neutral terms that have no emotional baggage for me to describe my sensations. Here, too, remember that wishing is a thought about what you don’t really want. Why do I enjoy health?
Sometimes, we choose what we really think we don’t want because it gives us something we really do want. It’s called secondary gain. Being poor so we feel like we can keep it all to ourselves, being fat so we don’t need to engage, being sick because we get some kind attention. The concept of secondary gain is a painful one, believe me, I know, but it’s well worth your consideration.
How have I changed from feeling trapped to realizing that I’m in charge of my own reality?
Here is a link for some fun auditory illusions. We see the optical ones pretty often, but the auditory ones are really fun, too. ttp://listverse.com/2008/02/29/top-10-incredible-sound-illusions/
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03092013
Friday, March 08, 2013
The Savor
The Savor
There is pleasure, and then there’s pleasure. There are countless delights in the world to savor and enjoy, but likewise there are countless internal satisfactions to be indulged in.
Curiously enough, when we cultivate the internal delights, they become much more satisfying.
As we move away from the life we struggle to make, and grow more comfortable with letting our life unfold, we find that we are less dependent on the pleasures outside us. It’s so weird. We can thoroughly enjoy our favorite foods and beverages, our physical and mental activities of all sorts, but the fun of those experiences pales next to the feelings we have inside.
In fact, the external stuff would be meaningless without the internal experience.
In fact, the more mindfully we approach our outside pleasures, the better they get. And the more mindfully we approach our internal pleasures, the better they get, too. Now that’s a good incentive to mindfulness if ever there was one.
Do you like chocolate? If so, get yourself one of those little squares. If not, find yourself a bite sized chunk of some other food you really like, and try this exercise:
Unwrap your chocolate, or other treat, and look at it for a few moments. See what you can see about it.
Now bring it near your nose and take a sniff. Take another one. Not too many or your nose will desensitize to the aroma. Notice what you can about the fragrance, does it have layers? Or is it simple? do you have any feelings or memories come up as you sniff?
Next, take a small nibble. Let the flavor develop on your tongue. Be aware of the texture, notice if it seems cool or warm. See if you can tell where you are tasting it the most.
Take a bite. Feel your teeth sinking into your treat. Does it snap when you bite it? Or is it creamy, or gooey? How is the chewing? Does it melt? Is your treat crunchy? Does it bring up any feelings or memories?
Lastly, finish your treat. How do you feel with the last bite? Does that have emotions associated with it? Do you want more, or was that experience sufficient for now?
Most of the people I’ve done this little snack-meditation with have said that it was the best chocolate they ever ate. How was it for you?
Slowing down inside means being mindful, noticing our internal experience as we have our external experience. Many things become more enjoyable, more satisfying or gratifying, if we take the time to experience them fully. And when we pay attention to our feelings when we feel good, we can enhance those feelings, too.
How have I changed from being oblivious to my experiences to savoring them fully?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03082013
There is pleasure, and then there’s pleasure. There are countless delights in the world to savor and enjoy, but likewise there are countless internal satisfactions to be indulged in.
Curiously enough, when we cultivate the internal delights, they become much more satisfying.
As we move away from the life we struggle to make, and grow more comfortable with letting our life unfold, we find that we are less dependent on the pleasures outside us. It’s so weird. We can thoroughly enjoy our favorite foods and beverages, our physical and mental activities of all sorts, but the fun of those experiences pales next to the feelings we have inside.
In fact, the external stuff would be meaningless without the internal experience.
In fact, the more mindfully we approach our outside pleasures, the better they get. And the more mindfully we approach our internal pleasures, the better they get, too. Now that’s a good incentive to mindfulness if ever there was one.
Do you like chocolate? If so, get yourself one of those little squares. If not, find yourself a bite sized chunk of some other food you really like, and try this exercise:
Unwrap your chocolate, or other treat, and look at it for a few moments. See what you can see about it.
Now bring it near your nose and take a sniff. Take another one. Not too many or your nose will desensitize to the aroma. Notice what you can about the fragrance, does it have layers? Or is it simple? do you have any feelings or memories come up as you sniff?
Next, take a small nibble. Let the flavor develop on your tongue. Be aware of the texture, notice if it seems cool or warm. See if you can tell where you are tasting it the most.
Take a bite. Feel your teeth sinking into your treat. Does it snap when you bite it? Or is it creamy, or gooey? How is the chewing? Does it melt? Is your treat crunchy? Does it bring up any feelings or memories?
Lastly, finish your treat. How do you feel with the last bite? Does that have emotions associated with it? Do you want more, or was that experience sufficient for now?
Most of the people I’ve done this little snack-meditation with have said that it was the best chocolate they ever ate. How was it for you?
Slowing down inside means being mindful, noticing our internal experience as we have our external experience. Many things become more enjoyable, more satisfying or gratifying, if we take the time to experience them fully. And when we pay attention to our feelings when we feel good, we can enhance those feelings, too.
How have I changed from being oblivious to my experiences to savoring them fully?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03082013
Thursday, March 07, 2013
All Aboard the Gratitude Train
All Aboard the Gratitude Train
I hope you don’t think I’m harping on this, but if you aren’t feeling good, get grateful.
On the one hand, it’s been a long winter, especially for those of us who get the snow and cold and ice, but even for you darlings who live in the tropical climes. (And for y’all living south of the equator, I’m guessing you are getting ready for relief from your long summer!) We are tired, and cranky, ready for warmth and light, ready to make our yards lovely with growing things, to throw open the windows, to breathe deeply without freezing our lung tissue.
On the other hand, feeling tired and cranky amplifies everything that is going on with us that isn’t quite right. Physical maladies are worse. Emotional states are more tenuous. We are all a bit overly sensitive right now. We are more likely to feel dissatisfied with ourselves, our jobs and activities, our families and friends, our stuff.
On the third hand, we’ve got blessings up the wazoo, or yingyang, if you prefer. Even at my worst, I had relative health, a decent enough place to live, a food shelf, friends who loved me, even if I didn’t feel it at the time, clothes to wear, books to read, well, you get the idea. My life didn’t totally suck. Relatively speaking, relative to millions of people in the world, I was living like royalty. But I thought my life sucked, and that made the difference.
I hate to say this, but for a long time, I liked being miserable. I felt like a heroine in a tragic novel. I felt like there was a nobility in suffering, a certain beauty in melancholy. I enjoyed the throes of drama, the exquisite torture of physical pain, the romance of depression. Gross, I know, but I didn’t know any better.
At the same time, I wanted to be happy. A lot. I wanted to feel like a sunny day wasn’t mocking me. (Yeah, can you spell drama queen?) I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to laugh a lot and often.
Enter gratitude. Rehearsing the things that make a positive difference in my life. Rehearsing, and telling, the people who bring joy and richness to the quality of my existence. Valuing my activities. Taking a moment before starting stuff to appreciate that I get to do it.
Taking time from time to time to think about where I came from, the bleakness of that life, and the joy of this one.
I am at another one of those points; where I feel like it’s time to let go of my former self to make room for a new self to emerge. It is a very interesting time. I’m sad, letting go of that way of being that served me well in that place. I am eager to see what this self will bring to the table.
How will I feel? What will I do differently? What are the positive changes that will come? How will my life be more enjoyable, richer, more meaningful?
By marking the passing of my current self to my former self, by recognizing that I’m hitting a new level of personal evolution, or maturity, or whatever you want to call it, by feeling grateful to that self for having brought me here, by grieving that passing, I can start in fresh. And find a thousand thousand new things to be grateful for.
How have I changed from being bitter to appreciating the gift?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03072013
I hope you don’t think I’m harping on this, but if you aren’t feeling good, get grateful.
On the one hand, it’s been a long winter, especially for those of us who get the snow and cold and ice, but even for you darlings who live in the tropical climes. (And for y’all living south of the equator, I’m guessing you are getting ready for relief from your long summer!) We are tired, and cranky, ready for warmth and light, ready to make our yards lovely with growing things, to throw open the windows, to breathe deeply without freezing our lung tissue.
On the other hand, feeling tired and cranky amplifies everything that is going on with us that isn’t quite right. Physical maladies are worse. Emotional states are more tenuous. We are all a bit overly sensitive right now. We are more likely to feel dissatisfied with ourselves, our jobs and activities, our families and friends, our stuff.
On the third hand, we’ve got blessings up the wazoo, or yingyang, if you prefer. Even at my worst, I had relative health, a decent enough place to live, a food shelf, friends who loved me, even if I didn’t feel it at the time, clothes to wear, books to read, well, you get the idea. My life didn’t totally suck. Relatively speaking, relative to millions of people in the world, I was living like royalty. But I thought my life sucked, and that made the difference.
I hate to say this, but for a long time, I liked being miserable. I felt like a heroine in a tragic novel. I felt like there was a nobility in suffering, a certain beauty in melancholy. I enjoyed the throes of drama, the exquisite torture of physical pain, the romance of depression. Gross, I know, but I didn’t know any better.
At the same time, I wanted to be happy. A lot. I wanted to feel like a sunny day wasn’t mocking me. (Yeah, can you spell drama queen?) I wanted to stop crying. I wanted to laugh a lot and often.
Enter gratitude. Rehearsing the things that make a positive difference in my life. Rehearsing, and telling, the people who bring joy and richness to the quality of my existence. Valuing my activities. Taking a moment before starting stuff to appreciate that I get to do it.
Taking time from time to time to think about where I came from, the bleakness of that life, and the joy of this one.
I am at another one of those points; where I feel like it’s time to let go of my former self to make room for a new self to emerge. It is a very interesting time. I’m sad, letting go of that way of being that served me well in that place. I am eager to see what this self will bring to the table.
How will I feel? What will I do differently? What are the positive changes that will come? How will my life be more enjoyable, richer, more meaningful?
By marking the passing of my current self to my former self, by recognizing that I’m hitting a new level of personal evolution, or maturity, or whatever you want to call it, by feeling grateful to that self for having brought me here, by grieving that passing, I can start in fresh. And find a thousand thousand new things to be grateful for.
How have I changed from being bitter to appreciating the gift?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03072013
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
Feeling Blue or In the Pink?
Feeling Blue or In the Pink?
Sometimes we forget stuff. LIke the world is a mirror reflecting our ideas and constructs and beliefs back at us. We forget that we are filtering all of our experience through our experience.
One of my favorite examples is using glasses with colored lenses. On gray and cloudy days, all I have to do is put on my glasses with the pale yellow lenses and *poof* I feel better. Gray light has those blue tones to it. That’s why we say, “I feel blue.” The pale yellow lenses filter out the blue light, and we feel a lift. Very useful during stretches of gray sky.
Rose colored lenses, that is, pink, also gives us a lift. It’s why we feel “in the pink.” And notice what happens to your feelings if you are wearing bright red lenses. Wanna guess? Oh, yeah, we get mad when we are seeing red.
I think it’s wacky that our whole mood can shift based on such simple stuff, that it’s not based on some profoundly deep something or other. It’s that line about “no one can *make* you feel anything.” When my colleague who tends a bit to the persnickety gets scold-y, I often buy in and feel scolded. It takes a little while for me to remember that I am the boss of me, and turn it around again.
I try to remember that if scolding worked, I would only need to be scolded once. It doesn’t. If shaming worked, if nagging worked, if yelling worked, the world would be a different place. The correction happens inside me, by my impetus, not outside snottiness.
When I feel disapproved of, it is me disapproving of me. You might have encouraged me, but you can’t make me go there without my buy in.
You can cause my body to have sensations, but surprise is the only emotion you can elicit from me without me choosing on some level to go there.
If I’m not feeling accepted, I’m not including me somewhere. If I’m not feeling acknowledged, it’s my interpretation, or behavior. The outside world can be singing my praises, but if I don’t let it in, it is irrelevant to me.
I am responsible for my feelings, for my attitude, and, to a great extent, for my circumstances. I am the lead in my own movie. The heroine in my own story. Each of us is. We have to be. I can only live my life, and you can only live yours.
So if I feel less-than, if I feel unappreciated, if I feel disapproved of, or unworthy, or undeserving, or like a failure, or like a mess, or always wrong (have I hit yours yet?) then it is up to me to change that. I can change it with Creative Questions and practice.
Why am I enough? How do I feel when I feel appreciated? Why do I deserve good things? Why am I a success? Why am I clear? How do I know I am right?
When I decide to take responsibility for my life, amazing things become possible. When I choose to take responsibility for my life, my feelings, my actions, I treat me better, and it is easier to treat you better, too.
How have I changed from letting the outside world dictate my experience to choosing to life my own life?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03062013
Sometimes we forget stuff. LIke the world is a mirror reflecting our ideas and constructs and beliefs back at us. We forget that we are filtering all of our experience through our experience.
One of my favorite examples is using glasses with colored lenses. On gray and cloudy days, all I have to do is put on my glasses with the pale yellow lenses and *poof* I feel better. Gray light has those blue tones to it. That’s why we say, “I feel blue.” The pale yellow lenses filter out the blue light, and we feel a lift. Very useful during stretches of gray sky.
Rose colored lenses, that is, pink, also gives us a lift. It’s why we feel “in the pink.” And notice what happens to your feelings if you are wearing bright red lenses. Wanna guess? Oh, yeah, we get mad when we are seeing red.
I think it’s wacky that our whole mood can shift based on such simple stuff, that it’s not based on some profoundly deep something or other. It’s that line about “no one can *make* you feel anything.” When my colleague who tends a bit to the persnickety gets scold-y, I often buy in and feel scolded. It takes a little while for me to remember that I am the boss of me, and turn it around again.
I try to remember that if scolding worked, I would only need to be scolded once. It doesn’t. If shaming worked, if nagging worked, if yelling worked, the world would be a different place. The correction happens inside me, by my impetus, not outside snottiness.
When I feel disapproved of, it is me disapproving of me. You might have encouraged me, but you can’t make me go there without my buy in.
You can cause my body to have sensations, but surprise is the only emotion you can elicit from me without me choosing on some level to go there.
If I’m not feeling accepted, I’m not including me somewhere. If I’m not feeling acknowledged, it’s my interpretation, or behavior. The outside world can be singing my praises, but if I don’t let it in, it is irrelevant to me.
I am responsible for my feelings, for my attitude, and, to a great extent, for my circumstances. I am the lead in my own movie. The heroine in my own story. Each of us is. We have to be. I can only live my life, and you can only live yours.
So if I feel less-than, if I feel unappreciated, if I feel disapproved of, or unworthy, or undeserving, or like a failure, or like a mess, or always wrong (have I hit yours yet?) then it is up to me to change that. I can change it with Creative Questions and practice.
Why am I enough? How do I feel when I feel appreciated? Why do I deserve good things? Why am I a success? Why am I clear? How do I know I am right?
When I decide to take responsibility for my life, amazing things become possible. When I choose to take responsibility for my life, my feelings, my actions, I treat me better, and it is easier to treat you better, too.
How have I changed from letting the outside world dictate my experience to choosing to life my own life?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03062013
Tuesday, March 05, 2013
Scared Into Sacred
Scared Into Sacred
Something curious has been happening to me over the last year or so. It has to do with the notion of sacredness.
My religious upbringing was the acting out of the Santayana quote: There is no God and Mary is his mother. When we went to church, I often felt quiet, but not moved. I liked some of the music, but I would rather have sat by myself in the woods.
Now, I have had my share of visions and mystical experiences. Or maybe more than my share. Anyway, while they have been deeply spiritual, none of them was religious in nature, so I’ve continued to be a bit of a heathen.
When I returned from Tibet and Nepal, I started to sit on my open air porch everyday. And I would ruminate, or cogitate, or meditate, or sometimes I would just be; birdies singing and squabbling at the feeder or bath, leaves rustling when there are leaves, peering through the branches when they are bare, observing traffic flow, feeling the temperature and breeze, being still when the little rabbit shows up. No thinking, just flow. Zen.
That space has become sacred to me. And being in that space, experiencing that state, I learned something else: I actually hold that sacred space inside me. Oh, how exciting is that! It means that wherever I go, I can create my sacred space; at work, in the meditations I lead, in the classes I teach, in my writing time, at my Clark Kent job, my car. All I have to do is slow down a bit, relax a bit, and remember to be in it. Baby snails help me remember. Little tinkly fountains help me remember. Writing to you every day helps me remember.
So much of living a lovely, happy, peaceful, joyous life is practicing living it. So much of that practice is remembering to do it. And remembering to do it is about deciding you are going to have a lovely, happy, peaceful, joyous life. What a nice, supportive loop.
The other thing that is so nice about that loop is that it absolutely is not contingent upon our external circumstance. It may be challenging when my physical experience is giving me the woozy-sweats, or I am in the grip of a powerful emotion, but I am also used to practicing so I can get back there pretty easily. And I don’t need to have reminders stuck up everywhere anymore. I’m kind of proud of that.
The other other thing that is so nice about it is that it makes room inside for me to like you so much more. From that sacred space, I can see you so much more clearly. I may not be able to see what you’ve been through, but I can see that you’ve been through it, and are doing the best you can. So it makes it easy for me to feel compassion and love. Which makes it easier for me to get along, which makes stuff nicer for everyone, who makes it nicer for their everyone, and we’ve changed the world. Again.
By owning that I am sacred, I change my whole experience in a very subtle and profound way. By owning that I am sacred, I acknowledge that you are sacred, too. We just have some cleaning up to do.
How have I changed from feeling like an abomination, to appreciating and respecting my core divinity?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03052013
Something curious has been happening to me over the last year or so. It has to do with the notion of sacredness.
My religious upbringing was the acting out of the Santayana quote: There is no God and Mary is his mother. When we went to church, I often felt quiet, but not moved. I liked some of the music, but I would rather have sat by myself in the woods.
Now, I have had my share of visions and mystical experiences. Or maybe more than my share. Anyway, while they have been deeply spiritual, none of them was religious in nature, so I’ve continued to be a bit of a heathen.
When I returned from Tibet and Nepal, I started to sit on my open air porch everyday. And I would ruminate, or cogitate, or meditate, or sometimes I would just be; birdies singing and squabbling at the feeder or bath, leaves rustling when there are leaves, peering through the branches when they are bare, observing traffic flow, feeling the temperature and breeze, being still when the little rabbit shows up. No thinking, just flow. Zen.
That space has become sacred to me. And being in that space, experiencing that state, I learned something else: I actually hold that sacred space inside me. Oh, how exciting is that! It means that wherever I go, I can create my sacred space; at work, in the meditations I lead, in the classes I teach, in my writing time, at my Clark Kent job, my car. All I have to do is slow down a bit, relax a bit, and remember to be in it. Baby snails help me remember. Little tinkly fountains help me remember. Writing to you every day helps me remember.
So much of living a lovely, happy, peaceful, joyous life is practicing living it. So much of that practice is remembering to do it. And remembering to do it is about deciding you are going to have a lovely, happy, peaceful, joyous life. What a nice, supportive loop.
The other thing that is so nice about that loop is that it absolutely is not contingent upon our external circumstance. It may be challenging when my physical experience is giving me the woozy-sweats, or I am in the grip of a powerful emotion, but I am also used to practicing so I can get back there pretty easily. And I don’t need to have reminders stuck up everywhere anymore. I’m kind of proud of that.
The other other thing that is so nice about it is that it makes room inside for me to like you so much more. From that sacred space, I can see you so much more clearly. I may not be able to see what you’ve been through, but I can see that you’ve been through it, and are doing the best you can. So it makes it easy for me to feel compassion and love. Which makes it easier for me to get along, which makes stuff nicer for everyone, who makes it nicer for their everyone, and we’ve changed the world. Again.
By owning that I am sacred, I change my whole experience in a very subtle and profound way. By owning that I am sacred, I acknowledge that you are sacred, too. We just have some cleaning up to do.
How have I changed from feeling like an abomination, to appreciating and respecting my core divinity?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03052013
Monday, March 04, 2013
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
Who wants to make some life changes, raise your hand! Ooo, lots of hands.
Who accomplishes life changes easily and quickly, raise your hand! And not so many hands here.
Change is a challenge for many of us for a bunch of reasons. A big one is habit. Oh, man, do we have habits.
We have to have habits. They make our data-rich world manageable. If we were wide open to all experience all the time, we would just stand there, absorbing. Far out, man, but not very practical. So we learn to chunk our world down into bite size pieces and make that process a habit. It’s why we don’t see the gorilla in the room.
We start developing our habits almost immediately. And we have habits governing how we establish new habits. We also, as a species, seem to know very clearly what we don’t want,. but not so much what we do want.
That is the primary difference between a dream and a goal. A dream is, well, dreamy. I wanna be rich. I wanna new job. I wanna nice partner. I wanna be fit. I wanna new house/car/tv/computer. We aren’t really going to get anywhere with dreams, except some nice dreamy time.
A goal, on the other hand, is clearly stated: I want a million dollars in the bank. I want two million in assets. I want to be able to live off that income, paying all my current bills plus, easily.
I want a job that is within 2 miles of my house, doing design work with a small company so that I can become a partner, and making $60k a year.
I wanna be able to do a hundred push-ups, two hundred sit ups, a hundred squats. I wanna be able to run 5 miles and not feel sick. I wanna be able to do pull-ups. I wanna have abs.
So then what? Then, we have to make room for our success. If I want millions, I need to clear out my lack-thoughts. I need to think about living with millions, not how am I going to ever pay off X. I need to get myself ready for success.
Asking Creative Questions like, How do I feel when I have three million dollars? How do I have three million dollars? Letting those questions, and the other ones you come up with, run through your mind all the time. You don’t have to do anything else; your behavior will naturally start to change as the questions become your normal habit. You will start making tiny changes, that will lead to bigger changes.
I may find that I have blocks to achieving this goal. It may be the case that I think rich people are selfish and shallow. If so, I may be sabotaging my efforts. Maybe I have the idea that I don’t deserve to be rich, or that being poor is noble. I can use Creative Questions to help uncover these, too.
How have I changed from controlling the outcome to surrendering to my natural life?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03042013
Who wants to make some life changes, raise your hand! Ooo, lots of hands.
Who accomplishes life changes easily and quickly, raise your hand! And not so many hands here.
Change is a challenge for many of us for a bunch of reasons. A big one is habit. Oh, man, do we have habits.
We have to have habits. They make our data-rich world manageable. If we were wide open to all experience all the time, we would just stand there, absorbing. Far out, man, but not very practical. So we learn to chunk our world down into bite size pieces and make that process a habit. It’s why we don’t see the gorilla in the room.
We start developing our habits almost immediately. And we have habits governing how we establish new habits. We also, as a species, seem to know very clearly what we don’t want,. but not so much what we do want.
That is the primary difference between a dream and a goal. A dream is, well, dreamy. I wanna be rich. I wanna new job. I wanna nice partner. I wanna be fit. I wanna new house/car/tv/computer. We aren’t really going to get anywhere with dreams, except some nice dreamy time.
A goal, on the other hand, is clearly stated: I want a million dollars in the bank. I want two million in assets. I want to be able to live off that income, paying all my current bills plus, easily.
I want a job that is within 2 miles of my house, doing design work with a small company so that I can become a partner, and making $60k a year.
I wanna be able to do a hundred push-ups, two hundred sit ups, a hundred squats. I wanna be able to run 5 miles and not feel sick. I wanna be able to do pull-ups. I wanna have abs.
So then what? Then, we have to make room for our success. If I want millions, I need to clear out my lack-thoughts. I need to think about living with millions, not how am I going to ever pay off X. I need to get myself ready for success.
Asking Creative Questions like, How do I feel when I have three million dollars? How do I have three million dollars? Letting those questions, and the other ones you come up with, run through your mind all the time. You don’t have to do anything else; your behavior will naturally start to change as the questions become your normal habit. You will start making tiny changes, that will lead to bigger changes.
I may find that I have blocks to achieving this goal. It may be the case that I think rich people are selfish and shallow. If so, I may be sabotaging my efforts. Maybe I have the idea that I don’t deserve to be rich, or that being poor is noble. I can use Creative Questions to help uncover these, too.
How have I changed from controlling the outcome to surrendering to my natural life?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03042013
Sunday, March 03, 2013
Mining the Silver Lining
Mining the Silver Lining
Are you trying to swim upstream? Or are you enjoying floating downstream? Are you struggling against the grain? Or are you gliding with the grain?
How is it that so many of us learn that unless it’s hard it doesn’t count? How do we learn that it must be arduous, and we have to feel exhausted, that it’s a struggle, that it’s difficult, that it’s too much?
And the most important question of all; why do we choose to believe that we are powerless to change that, and call it the Human Condition?
Why is it so easy?
It seems like some people are just lucky. They seem to bounce back from adversity, They seem unflappable. While the rest of us get stuck in the stinking mud of hard knocks, they turn their hard knocks into opportunities. What the heck.
Lucky.
Yeah, no. It all has to do with how we judge stuff inside. What we think of as luck is often just looking at any situation and mining the silver lining.
Why do I feel so fortunate?
I can feel overwhelmed by debt, or I can choose to simplify, sell my self-storage unit of unused, extra stuff, make money with my hobby, and enjoy the art of creative living. Why is it so easy to pay my bills?
I can be driven crazy by a co-worker, or I can find a way to feel compassion for them, consider them my Best Teacher and practice staying calm. or returning to center as quickly as possible. Why is it so easy to keep my center?
I can flip into pissed that my family doesn’t clean up after themselves, or I can set limits and follow through with consequences that they can help me decide on. And then let it go. Why is it so easy to follow through?
I can be exasperated by family situations, or I can choose to either treasure them, or let them go, or not engage. Why is it so easy to support my loved ones?
In the end, it’s we that decides whether we suffer. In the end it’s we that decides whether it’s hard. In the end, it’s we who, regardless of our circumstances, decide on the quality of life we live.
I know it’s annoying as heck, I know it’s scary, too. I know we like to think that it’s not true, but we are responsible for how we feel, for how we experience stuff, for the way our lives go. I am responsible for my resentments. They don’t impact the person I resent, they only eat at me. I am responsible for my suffering. I can choose to sink into it and wallow, or float on top of it. Floating on top isn’t denying it, it’s just not letting my whatever dictate my feelings.
I’m the boss of me. I’m the boss of my feelings. I’m the boss of how I choose to interpret my experience.
How have I changed from being buffeted by the winds of fate to being the captain of my own ship?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03032013
Are you trying to swim upstream? Or are you enjoying floating downstream? Are you struggling against the grain? Or are you gliding with the grain?
How is it that so many of us learn that unless it’s hard it doesn’t count? How do we learn that it must be arduous, and we have to feel exhausted, that it’s a struggle, that it’s difficult, that it’s too much?
And the most important question of all; why do we choose to believe that we are powerless to change that, and call it the Human Condition?
Why is it so easy?
It seems like some people are just lucky. They seem to bounce back from adversity, They seem unflappable. While the rest of us get stuck in the stinking mud of hard knocks, they turn their hard knocks into opportunities. What the heck.
Lucky.
Yeah, no. It all has to do with how we judge stuff inside. What we think of as luck is often just looking at any situation and mining the silver lining.
Why do I feel so fortunate?
I can feel overwhelmed by debt, or I can choose to simplify, sell my self-storage unit of unused, extra stuff, make money with my hobby, and enjoy the art of creative living. Why is it so easy to pay my bills?
I can be driven crazy by a co-worker, or I can find a way to feel compassion for them, consider them my Best Teacher and practice staying calm. or returning to center as quickly as possible. Why is it so easy to keep my center?
I can flip into pissed that my family doesn’t clean up after themselves, or I can set limits and follow through with consequences that they can help me decide on. And then let it go. Why is it so easy to follow through?
I can be exasperated by family situations, or I can choose to either treasure them, or let them go, or not engage. Why is it so easy to support my loved ones?
In the end, it’s we that decides whether we suffer. In the end it’s we that decides whether it’s hard. In the end, it’s we who, regardless of our circumstances, decide on the quality of life we live.
I know it’s annoying as heck, I know it’s scary, too. I know we like to think that it’s not true, but we are responsible for how we feel, for how we experience stuff, for the way our lives go. I am responsible for my resentments. They don’t impact the person I resent, they only eat at me. I am responsible for my suffering. I can choose to sink into it and wallow, or float on top of it. Floating on top isn’t denying it, it’s just not letting my whatever dictate my feelings.
I’m the boss of me. I’m the boss of my feelings. I’m the boss of how I choose to interpret my experience.
How have I changed from being buffeted by the winds of fate to being the captain of my own ship?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03032013
Saturday, March 02, 2013
The Blue Crayon
The Blue Crayon
I’m always looking for metaphors to make the stuff I talk about here more accessible, or easier to implement, or more vivid and memorable. I want to help you, and I want to continue helping me.
The card I pulled today was the “Success” card. Why am I always successful?
Well, on the one hand, it looks like a load of malarkey. I mean, I can see places where I don’t think I’ve been successful. I have feelings about those places.. I can beat myself up pretty well about those places. Then I stop and ask myself, “What if that Creative Question is true?” I have to say, I love that question. On the one hand, it has radically opened my mind. On the other hand, it has often produced some uncomfortable answers. On the third hand, it’s produced some astounding results.
If it is true that I am always successful, why is X still the way it is? It seems to me that it must mean that someway I am striving for what I don’t want, namely X. If I have done everything I can think of to change X and still experience it, then I am doing it on the inside. Unconsciously supporting it for reasons I need to uncover.
The thought that hit me this morning as I was contemplating this Creative Question was this: I can’t color yellow with a blue crayon.
If I am unconsciously committed to X, no matter what I try to do to color yellow, I am holding a blue crayon. I will always be successfully coloring with a blue crayon, regardless of what color my conscious mind thinks I want to use.
Here is a personal example for you that I’ve just uncovered, using Creative Questions. I have been unconsciously deeply committed to being a very healthy, active, fit, fat person. My biometrics are perfect. I run, dance, practice yoga and qigong on a daily basis. I wanted to prove to “Them” that just because a person is very overweight doesn’t automatically mean they aren’t healthy. Defiant a bit? Oh, yeah. Comfortable? Not at all. So, on the one hand, I’ve shed 50 pounds as of this week ounce by grudging ounce over three years; on the other hand, I’ve felt like I have been trying to color yellow with a blue crayon. My fear is, who will I be if I am not that fit, fat person I am so identified as? When I am holding that blue crayon, holding that commitment in my unconscious, nothing I do out here will change that experience.
I’ve now been playing with the Creative Question, “How am I more me when there is less me?” I feel light and happy when I ask it.
My life tells me where my commitments are. My results tell me what I am unconsciously choosing to be successful at. If I have the courage to look with an open mind and a loving heart, I can find where I choose to succeed at things I hate. If I can have the courage and self-love to see clearly, I can find what I need to change. I can change it with Creative Questions, and a lot of practice and patience with myself.
We hear famous people say that there is nothing we can’t do if we set our minds to it. Well, I can’t color yellow with a blue crayon. I can change my thinking so that I can hold the yellow crayon, and get the results I want. I need to know what it is I want, and then make sure my insides are in alignment with my outsides.
How have I changed from feeling like a failure to seeing how my successes show me the way out?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03022013
I’m always looking for metaphors to make the stuff I talk about here more accessible, or easier to implement, or more vivid and memorable. I want to help you, and I want to continue helping me.
The card I pulled today was the “Success” card. Why am I always successful?
Well, on the one hand, it looks like a load of malarkey. I mean, I can see places where I don’t think I’ve been successful. I have feelings about those places.. I can beat myself up pretty well about those places. Then I stop and ask myself, “What if that Creative Question is true?” I have to say, I love that question. On the one hand, it has radically opened my mind. On the other hand, it has often produced some uncomfortable answers. On the third hand, it’s produced some astounding results.
If it is true that I am always successful, why is X still the way it is? It seems to me that it must mean that someway I am striving for what I don’t want, namely X. If I have done everything I can think of to change X and still experience it, then I am doing it on the inside. Unconsciously supporting it for reasons I need to uncover.
The thought that hit me this morning as I was contemplating this Creative Question was this: I can’t color yellow with a blue crayon.
If I am unconsciously committed to X, no matter what I try to do to color yellow, I am holding a blue crayon. I will always be successfully coloring with a blue crayon, regardless of what color my conscious mind thinks I want to use.
Here is a personal example for you that I’ve just uncovered, using Creative Questions. I have been unconsciously deeply committed to being a very healthy, active, fit, fat person. My biometrics are perfect. I run, dance, practice yoga and qigong on a daily basis. I wanted to prove to “Them” that just because a person is very overweight doesn’t automatically mean they aren’t healthy. Defiant a bit? Oh, yeah. Comfortable? Not at all. So, on the one hand, I’ve shed 50 pounds as of this week ounce by grudging ounce over three years; on the other hand, I’ve felt like I have been trying to color yellow with a blue crayon. My fear is, who will I be if I am not that fit, fat person I am so identified as? When I am holding that blue crayon, holding that commitment in my unconscious, nothing I do out here will change that experience.
I’ve now been playing with the Creative Question, “How am I more me when there is less me?” I feel light and happy when I ask it.
My life tells me where my commitments are. My results tell me what I am unconsciously choosing to be successful at. If I have the courage to look with an open mind and a loving heart, I can find where I choose to succeed at things I hate. If I can have the courage and self-love to see clearly, I can find what I need to change. I can change it with Creative Questions, and a lot of practice and patience with myself.
We hear famous people say that there is nothing we can’t do if we set our minds to it. Well, I can’t color yellow with a blue crayon. I can change my thinking so that I can hold the yellow crayon, and get the results I want. I need to know what it is I want, and then make sure my insides are in alignment with my outsides.
How have I changed from feeling like a failure to seeing how my successes show me the way out?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03022013
Friday, March 01, 2013
How Do I Turn This Thing Off?
How Do I Turn This Thing Off?
I am fascinated by the fact that the same cards come up over and over. I like to think that it’s because they are the most potent questions, the most transformative questions, we can ask.
There are lots of types of questions. What’s for dinner? Why did you do that? How do you turn it off? Where’s the switch?
Creative Questions are special because the question holds the answer. The way our brains work, our unconscious mind loves to have stuff to do, it is doing something like 88% of our thinking. Asking a Creative Question sets that part of the mind to work on coming up with answers.
This is one of the reasons that Creative Questions blow affirmations out of the water. Imagine this: An affirmation and a Creative Question are each like a pebble. But. When you drop the affirmation pebble, it lands in the sand and that’s it. A Creative Question pebble lands in water, the deep pool of your amazing mind. It sends ripples out and dynamic movement all the way down. Statements stop, questions go.
When we pause a bit and ask a Creative Question like, “Why am I grateful?” and let it sink in, it goes deep. A Creative Question can scour through old mind gunk and leave it shining. When we add a word like “else” to the Question, it can be even more potent, especially good when we are practicing gratitude. Notice how you feel when you ask, “Why else am I grateful?”
The other interesting feature of Creative Questions is that, since they work in the unconscious mind, we often don’t get answers in our conscious mind, but you may well notice, and will notice as you practice them, that your body will feel different. I think that is so cool.
Here’s why your body will feel different. Thoughts in our minds produce energy, and that energy moves through synapses in our brains, our very physical brains. So while we can’t measure a thought, we can measure the trail it leaves. That energy trail sets off a whole slew of events; neurochemicals releasing, which, in turn, cause hormonal releases, which trigger other physiological events like elevated or quieted heart beat, faster, or slower breathing, butterflies in our tums, clenched jaw muscles, and so on.
The physiological response often relates to a specific body part: Shoulders when we feel burdened, backs around support issues, throat around speaking, or holding back, words. Our language is filled with these connections. We use the phrase, “carrying the weight of the world” to indicate that we have shouldered too much responsibility. Oh, yeah, that’s another one. So if your shoulders ache, or are full of muscle spasms, look to the responsibilities you have taken on and see about letting some go, or changing your attitude about them.
So when we ask that lovely “Why else am I grateful?” we set up the gratitude string of events in our brains, and our bodies respond and we feel nice. Practicing our favorite Creative Questions creates new thoughts, which create new pathways in our brains, which can relieve a lot of our physical discomfort.
How have I changed from releasing stress chemicals into my body to releasing nurturing, healing chemicals through my Creative Questions?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03012013
I am fascinated by the fact that the same cards come up over and over. I like to think that it’s because they are the most potent questions, the most transformative questions, we can ask.
There are lots of types of questions. What’s for dinner? Why did you do that? How do you turn it off? Where’s the switch?
Creative Questions are special because the question holds the answer. The way our brains work, our unconscious mind loves to have stuff to do, it is doing something like 88% of our thinking. Asking a Creative Question sets that part of the mind to work on coming up with answers.
This is one of the reasons that Creative Questions blow affirmations out of the water. Imagine this: An affirmation and a Creative Question are each like a pebble. But. When you drop the affirmation pebble, it lands in the sand and that’s it. A Creative Question pebble lands in water, the deep pool of your amazing mind. It sends ripples out and dynamic movement all the way down. Statements stop, questions go.
When we pause a bit and ask a Creative Question like, “Why am I grateful?” and let it sink in, it goes deep. A Creative Question can scour through old mind gunk and leave it shining. When we add a word like “else” to the Question, it can be even more potent, especially good when we are practicing gratitude. Notice how you feel when you ask, “Why else am I grateful?”
The other interesting feature of Creative Questions is that, since they work in the unconscious mind, we often don’t get answers in our conscious mind, but you may well notice, and will notice as you practice them, that your body will feel different. I think that is so cool.
Here’s why your body will feel different. Thoughts in our minds produce energy, and that energy moves through synapses in our brains, our very physical brains. So while we can’t measure a thought, we can measure the trail it leaves. That energy trail sets off a whole slew of events; neurochemicals releasing, which, in turn, cause hormonal releases, which trigger other physiological events like elevated or quieted heart beat, faster, or slower breathing, butterflies in our tums, clenched jaw muscles, and so on.
The physiological response often relates to a specific body part: Shoulders when we feel burdened, backs around support issues, throat around speaking, or holding back, words. Our language is filled with these connections. We use the phrase, “carrying the weight of the world” to indicate that we have shouldered too much responsibility. Oh, yeah, that’s another one. So if your shoulders ache, or are full of muscle spasms, look to the responsibilities you have taken on and see about letting some go, or changing your attitude about them.
So when we ask that lovely “Why else am I grateful?” we set up the gratitude string of events in our brains, and our bodies respond and we feel nice. Practicing our favorite Creative Questions creates new thoughts, which create new pathways in our brains, which can relieve a lot of our physical discomfort.
How have I changed from releasing stress chemicals into my body to releasing nurturing, healing chemicals through my Creative Questions?
(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03012013
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