Five Tips for Being a Grown Up

Five Tips for Being a Grown Up

Wow. I will say upfront that you may not want to read this today. What follows is tough stuff that takes courage and self-love to accomplish. I know you are worth it. I know you can do it. I know you have the strength and the resource. I throw down the gauntlet. Will you take the challenge?

What a time we are having. Work issues, health issues, relationship issues, money issues. I am hearing so many of you talk about being depressed,or scared, or really angry. Things are a-churning right now, and there are things you can do to make getting through it easier.

Thing One. Slow down. That can take a lot of forms. Deep breathing while you are grocery shopping. Listening to soothing music in the car as you run your kids around and do errands. Practice “walking meditations” as you clean the house, or yard, or car. You may be surprised how slowing down inside lets you accomplish more. It sharpens your focus, and improves your efficiency, and it can make stuff way more enjoyable.

Thing Two. Relax your mind and body. There is nothing that can’t be made worse by stressing out about it. Worry is the heroin of the mind. It’s horribly addictive and does nothing beneficial while making you feel like you are doing something. This is Truth. Do what you need to do to stop worrying about “it.” Shooting heroin will not help you stop worrying. Things will unfold better if you are calm. If you need help learning to relax, get it. It is a skill that is supremely worth cultivating.

Thing Three. Stop blaming. Blaming is a pointless exercise that just poops in your energy field. It is an ultra-low frequency activity. Like worry, it is addictive, and stems from the idea that I am a victim of you. I am only ever a victim of me. Someone might have done terrible things to me, but only I can make me a victim. Only I can choose to step out of it into my natural life and live in my particular circumstances with joy and dignity. All it takes it choosing to be a grownup instead of a victim.

Thing Four. Assess. Anger is the belief that what we need is being denied us. Fear is the thought that what we have will be taken from us. Practice step one above, and step two. Get yourself calm, and look at your current situation with those two thoughts about what we have and what we need. Re-evaluate what you are doing, and see where you can change stuff. The challenging question is “How am I making these situations worse?” Answer it. Own your part. That’s what grownups do.

Thing Five. Wait. Hit the pause button. Drama is awesome in opera, but it is exhausting in real life. It is another activity that poops in your energy field. “I can’t! You never! You always! Nothing ever works/changes! Nobody! Everybody!” This rhetoric is a sign that the Diva or Divo is in the house. They cost plenty, and really aren’t worth it. If you feel inclined to BIG it up, wait. Do not, while things are churny, make big decisions unless you are in danger. Walk away if you need to in order to calm your self. Saying hurtful things to someone you love can stick with them forever. (Yes, by their choice, but you get my drift.)

Lots of people are feeling this way right now. Treat us with the compassion, patience, kindness and love that you’d like to get back, and you’ll get a lot more than if you let your pissed off inner 5 year old run the show.

Why do I choose to behave like a grown up?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03132013