Gas, Taxes, and Empowerment

Gas, Taxes, and Empowerment

In the olden days, I wanted out. I wanted off the grid, even though I wanted to live in the city. I had no bank accounts. I paid cash for everything so there wouldn’t be a record. I stopped paying taxes. I thought it would make me feel free, but it just made me anxious and paranoid.

And one fateful day, I was pulling into a gas station that had a tanker delivering the gas, and everything changed for me. I was never going to be truly independent. Lots of someone elses would always be doing things for me, even if they never knew I existed, even if I never knew they existed. I am not going to pump oil out of the ground and refine it and make it into gas for my car. Or bio fuel. Or run the hydroelectric plant that makes my electricity. Or grow all my food (can I even grown quinoa up here?)

I’m not going to grow the organic cotton, or flax, or viscose. And spin it and weave it into cloth that I make into clothes.  I’m not going to throw my tableware on a potter’s wheel and fire in my kiln that burns the trees that I grow.

I need you.

Every aspect of my lovely urban life is possible because of all the people who are doing work that makes my life nice. I have more support than I can imagine.

Not only that, but I have kind friends who help me, dear neighbors who take care of things, co-workers who do stuff for me.

It makes things clear to me that if I’m feeling unsupported, I’m not paying attention. The curious thing I find is that the more supported I feel, the more support I get.

Sometimes, I have to ask for it.

Sometimes, I may not like the way I get it.

Sometimes, I pretend that it’s not available and I feel sorry for myself. Pitee Partay!!

Each of us has made it this far. We’ve made it this far because of other people doing things to help us out.

When we are feeling unsupported, or that we need more support, our first step is to think about what support we actually want.

I find it fascinating that, when I start to think about the support I think I need, I often find that I need something else, usually the support I should give myself; food, sleep, down time. Once I get that taken care of, the other often falls right into place.

Recognizing and appreciating all the support I get everyday in so many ways allows me to feel empowered to do what I need to do, and what I like to do. It allows me to delegate. It allows me to say, “No.” It allows me to support you, my family, my friends, my neighborhood, and communities in a bunch of different ways. And that’s nice.

Oh, and my back taxes are all filed.

How have I changed from feeling neglected to feeling awash in support?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03202013