Preaching on Appreciation

Preaching on Appreciation

Back in the last century when I was getting my Neuro-Linguistic Psychology training, we were talking about modeling. Not the runway kind, but putting ourselves in certain postures that have meaning for us, or for our loved ones.

Our initial task was to model our partner into the body position, and then add facial expression, words and tone, that made us feel appreciated.

The instructors told the story of a man who had taken the training, and felt very unappreciated in his life. It turned out that the “appreciator” had to stand rigidly straight, with arms stiff down the sides of his body, and tip their head all the way to the left shoulder, then say in a very sing-song voice, “I really appreciate you, Gary.” No wonder he never felt appreciated.

Once the instructors saw what was going on for Gary, they helped him learn to feel appreciated way more easily.

So many of us have weird little ticks like Gary did, things we’ve developed over the years that get in our way of enjoying things. We ignore them, and get crabby when others don’t model themselves into the positions we want.

Or we spend so much time thinking about what we don’t have, don’t get, or haven’t become that the Universe just shakes her head at us.

So now is a good time to talk a bit about the Law of Attraction. On the one hand, calling it that is New Age Woowoo mumbo jumbo. On the other hand, we humans have known this phenomenon for millennia. What you think about is what you get, or at least it’s what you filter for.

If I am going on and on about how exhausting my life is, I will be exhausted.

If I am going on and on about how broke I am, I will be broke.

If I am going on and on about how awful I feel, I will feel awful.

If I say over and over, “I wish I had a nice relationship/car/job.” I will never get it because wishing reinforces what I already have.

This is why I keep asking you, and reminding me, to think about what you want, and not about what you don’t want. We are so good at what we don’t want.

Why doesn’t anyone appreciate me? Why doesn’t anyone acknowledge me? Why does everyone disapprove of me? Why am I so burdened? Do you see what happens here? Those are really bad Creative Questions working away in our subconscious minds. But when we flip ‘em, and rehearse the new ones, stuff starts changing deep inside. Why do I feel appreciated? Why am I acknowledged? How am I approved of? Why is it so easy? If you feel like crap, you get more crap. It’s a choice. Choose to feel good, “How do I feel when I feel good?” and you will get more good. Look for solutions, don’t rehearse the problems.

The sermon is over. Thank you for your kind attention.

How have I changed from feeling taken advantage of to feeling acknowledged, supported, and free to choose?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 03282013