Luxury of Mind

Luxury of Mind

Today I drew the Luxury card. I love that card. It got me thinking, like Creative Questions often do, and I found myself thinking about the luxury of mind.

The Luxury of Mind. I love that phrase. I find it so evocative.

How do I enjoy the luxury of my mind? What makes me aware? How do I luxuriate in my thoughts?

My mind is a place where I like to think I am in complete control. That’s kind of true. It’s also really not true, but there is a lot we can change about that.

They say that about 12% of our thoughts are conscious, and that of those, a goodly chunk are habit-thoughts. A part of cultivating the Luxury of Mind is noticing what we are thinking.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love habits and routines. The things that fire off on autopilot free up my little 12% for other stuff. Getting up; yoga, bathroom, kitchen, coffee, cats, breakfast, lunch all get done so fast that I am sitting down and enjoying my coffee before I’m even aware of being awake. Hand washing laundry, vacuuming, dishes, and dusting are also tasks that don’t require me to be paying attention. I’m mindful in that I try to avoid vacuuming up cat toys or dusting fragile things onto the floor, but you get my drift.

When I am luxuriating in my mind, I am doing any number of think-y things. Perhaps I am daydreaming about a holiday, or having a little fantasy about living in a cloud city with winged horses, or gelato in Venice. Perhaps I am imagining the goals I would like to achieve, or appreciating the joys of my daily life.

Sometimes, in order to clean out my emo basement, I have to think about stuff that is really challenging and I get all full of heavy feelings. It might be that I have to go to a dark place, or look at things I may have done, or things that were done to me or around me, that have caused harm. This is another kind of luxury. What’s that you say? How could this be?

In order to look at our dark stuff, we need courage. We need to have some sense of our own strength. We need to have goals, like being free of our dark stuff. We need time. We often need a teacher. These things are luxuries, necessary, yes, but luxuries, like indoor plumbing or heat.

When I am being aware of my Luxury of Mind, I pull out my favorite Creative Questions. I practice thinking about what is good in my life. I practice thinking about how abundant my life is, how I have filled it with joy. I practice and I let my heart be light.

Sometimes, I bump into a scary memory, or the emotional hurt, and use my mind to work through the topic to the end when I can. I feel the feelings, I stick with it until it dissolves. Oh, man! If THAT moment isn’t Luxury of Mind, I don’t know what is.

Recognizing the difference between luxuriating and wallowing is crucial. When I am all focused on my physical discomfort, I am often wallowing. That’s a good time for me to distract myself. When I am focused on self-care, I am often luxuriating. It’s all about perspective and judgment; do my thoughts leave me feeling light or heavy?

How have I changed from wallowing in my dark space to luxuriating in my mind?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2015 all rights reserved 01282015

Unlikely Gifts

Unlikely Gifts

The card I pulled today was the Why am I spiritual? card. It made me think about “best teachers” again, a concept I have found wonderfully useful, so maybe you will, too.

Each of us has lots of people in our lives. They play a multitude of roles for us, with us. Some of them we teach, some teach us. Of our teachers, some teach by example, some teach by creating situations for us to work through. One might call them spiritual puzzlers.

These Best Teachers are really super annoying. They are often thoughtless, full of bad behaviors, sometimes they are even mean or abusive. You know you’ve got your own best teacher because they not only make your day worse with their naughtiness, but they move into your head, rent-free, and take up valuable real estate.

You know you have your very own Best Teacher when you find yourself rehashing old set-tos with them, and how you could have bested them, or imagining fresh set-tos, and getting yourself all riled up when they aren’t even there.

Perhaps they get you to yell with them in anger, or to throw stuff. Or maybe they scare the bejesus out of you. They are adept at throwing us into our weakest places.

They bring out the worst in us.

That’s why we are blessed with them, our Best Teachers; to bring out the worst in us so we can clean it up and let it go.

I know, I know, but I don’t make the rules, I just report ‘em.

I have found that, in general, I have one BT at a time. I have also found that there is usually one very important lesson they present. Sometimes it is about unlearning something I’ve believed for yonks. Sometimes it is about learning more about a quality like understanding, or patience, or not to be patient. Patience isn’t always a good thing.

I had one BT who would come up to me at work and start yelling, telling me how worthless I was. Seriously. I learned two things; don’t take on stuff that says I’m bad. It’s not true. And, just because you are freaking out doesn’t mean I have to go there with you. It was so strange to just sit there, finding my calm center with someone yelling at me, often with an audience, but I succeeded.

When I learn the lesson, really get it, something happens. Sometimes they leave my life. Seriously. They move away, or get a new job, or maybe they just disappear. However it goes, they are gone. Othertimes, they just stop being so annoying. That’s weird, but really nice.

I love it when I recognize a BT. I know I will have some challenging times, but that at the end of it, I will be happier, cleaner, and lighter in my spirit.

Taking a few moments to identify your current BT, and then to spend a little time thinking about the gift they are bringing you is guaranteed to bring lovely results. Identifying your bad-behavior responses to your BT will help. It will also help to love yourself for showing these behaviors so you can clean them up, because dark-sides need love, too.

How have I changed from disliking my annoying people to recognizing my Best Teachers and the gifts they bring?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12212013

Taming the Dragon

Taming the Dragon

I think it’s fascinating how many of us undervalue ourselves. We are a few minutes late for work, we get an overdraft, we come down with a bug, we forget a special date, and we feel like we are bad people.

How do I know I am valuable?

Here’s the rub. If I feel like I’m not worth very much, you will treat me like I’m not worth very much, even if you treat me with respect and kindness. I won’t see respect and kindness, I will see that somehow you treat me poorly. I expect it. Occasionally, we may find someone who bucks our system, but for the most part, we will get back what we put out. That’s how our filters work.

Dang. Stupid Law of Attraction.

What makes me recognize my worth?

So then some of us start to strive. We strive to be good people. Problem is that we fall every time we screw up, and end up feeling worthless and bad again. Sometimes, we have that self-worth sensor set to such a sensitive setting that we never even feel relief, we never get to savor the feeling of being a good person, feeling like a worthwhile contribution.

Some of us just end up saying what the heck, and go for it.

We can feel that dark side of ourselves.

Some of us fight it, some of us give into it. Some of us accept it and move on.

When I fight my dark side, the qualities I dislike most in myself, I see them all over. These are the things I “hate” about other people. I am miserable.

When I give into my dark side, I act out the qualities I dislike most, and deny my light side. I am miserable.

When I accept my dark side, I see the qualities I don’t like, and recognize that I am human. I shoot for excellence, not perfection. I own that I have stuff, and since I don’t have to fight it, I have a little more juice to catch it when I go there, and shift it around. Or I apologize. I used to envision my dark side, my evil twin, as a terrifying monster. Now I see it more as a big but approachable dragon. When I get dark fantasies, I don’t worry that I’m bad, I understand that I might want to take some nurturing care of me.

When I accept me, I accept the light and the dark. I know that the dark side is nurtured by traumas, many of which happened a long time ago. The more I feel plagued by my dark side, the better I will feel when I release my old crap. My dragon feeds on stress, fatigue, hunger, lonesomeness, guilt, and worry. The more of those I get, the more “dark side” I feel. When I get enough rest, when I eat well, have some fun moving my body, spend time with people I love, release guilty and worry, my dragon goes to sleep, so to speak. And I can see my value, I can feel my worth, and recognize my contribution.

How have I changed from fighting my dark side to loving my whole self?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10302013