Super Powers

Super Powers

I realized recently that I have something for which I am the most grateful. It surprised me, because I am so grateful for so many things. Do you want to guess what that one thing is?

If you guessed the ability to feel gratitude, you are correct.

For so long, I was so obsessed with misery, worry, fear, guilt and anger, that I couldn’t have found gratitude in that mess for love nor money. As a child, I remember trying to write thank-you notes when I had no sense of gratitude. I could spit it out by rote, but not from the heart. How sad.

Gratitude really is one of our super powers.

Super powers are qualities that come from our core, from our natural lives. They are gifts of spirit, if you will, and they make our lives shift from low to high frequency, from grim to happy, from dissatisfied to content, from chaos to peace.

Gratitude opens us, softens us up. It works from our emotional body. When we feel grateful, we let go of expectations, and appreciate the moment. As we practice gratitude, we find more and more opportunities to feel grateful. Gratitude makes us more receptive to universal bounty. Why am I grateful? What makes me grateful? How do I show my appreciation?

We have other super powers, too.

Creativity works from our mental body. It opens and softens up our thought processes so that we can be more mentally nimble. The more we practice being creative, the more easily we get into that groove, the easier it is to find our muse. Why am I so creative? How am I creative? How else do I express my creativity?

Decision and commitment are a dynamic duo. This is the physical body, where the action is. When we decide and commit, there is no stopping us. This is how we get stuff done all the way to the end. Why do I commit? What makes me decide? How do I trust my decisions?

Choice is the mother of all super powers. Choice is the gift of spirit. Choice is the beginning of everything.I get to decide. I get to say, “this is what I want.” This is what I want to do. This is where I want to be. This is who I want to be with. This is how I want my life to be. This is what I believe in. This is what I choose. Why do I choose?

When we start practicing using our super powers, when we choose to use them, decide and commit to being aware of our choices, practice being creative every day, and choose to find our gratitude for every situation’s gift, amazing things begin to happen.

We find that our days are easier. We find that we relax more easily, more deeply, so we sleep better. We find that as we are more relaxed, we let go of worry, guilt, and fear, so there is more room for enjoyment of our whole life. We find silver linings wherever we go. We find ourselves feeling joy in simply being alive. We find satisfaction in everything we do. Hooray for us!

How have I change from feeling helpless to using my super powers?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05202013

I’m Not My Prob, Bob!

I’m Not My Prob, Bob!

Sometimes, we just chug along, managing everything with ease and joy. We have time for work and time for play, we feel good. We take good care of ourselves, we take good care of each other.

Sometimes, something comes up that kind of flattens us. Maybe we can’t think of a workable solution.  Maybe we have so much feeling attached to it that it seems overwhelming.  So we give up and give in. And we think we are done with it.

Except that we aren’t.

Giving up is not letting go. When we let go, we feel free. We put our situations out from ourselves, and trust the universe will provide, we see opportunity, we see resolution, we enjoy the outcomes, we feel happy and energized.

When we give up, the problem internalizes. We pull in deep within us and start to believe that the problem is part of who we are. We expend a lot of energy keeping the problem down. We make decisions based on the notion that the problem is who we are. These decisions often nurture and support the problem, not us, and so more of our energy goes to the problem, and before long we are referencing ourselves by the problem -- “I’m poor, I’m sick, I’m a drunk, I’m a pig, I’m bad, I’m unlucky, I’m lonely,” and so on.

Maintaining the illusion that we are something we aren’t takes an enormous amount of energy. Poor we. Now, not only are we identifying ourselves with an internalized situation, but we are feeling pooped, too. So then we have to do stuff about feeling so low-energy all the time. We may resort to stimulants of a wide variety, or sleeping a lot. We may feel so depleted that we stop moving, becoming couch tubers, or start feeling depressed. Maybe we get angry, or act out in other ways.

We not only cut back on the activities that give us joy, we may even pull away from dear friends who can see what we are doing to ourselves, because now we feel shame. So now, we are isolated, bored, and pouring our life-force into nurturing a problem as though it were our child.

How do I know I am not my problems? How do I know I am not my behavior? How do I know at my core I am perfection?

When I feel like I want to escape my life, I have most likely internalized a problem. When I am feeling depressed, I have most likely internalized a problem. When I feel like I am running on empty all the time, I have most likely internalized a problem.

You know I like old sayings. I love this one: When you feel like you are at the end of your rope, let go.

Let go. Ahhh. Like sinking into the hot tub of your mind.

If you need help learning to let go, there are a zillion resources to help you. Find them. Use them. You are worth it.

Why do I let go? Why do I choose to be free? Why do I use my resources?

As we let go, we disconnect ourselves from the problem. We stop defining ourselves as the problem. We see it as outside us, and can return easily to our natural life of joy, peace, satisfaction, and gratitude.

How have I changed from running away on the inside to choosing to be really and truly alive?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05192013

Amazing You

Amazing You

You are so cool. You are smart, and creative, kind, and cute. You do such interesting things, you’ve been through so much, and you are so helpful. I know it, lots of other people know it, Do you?

I know that sometimes you don’t think that’s true.

Sometimes we doubt our wonderful qualities. We  may think we aren’t somehow enough. If I were smarter, or more diligent, or more devoted, if I were more energetic, if I were more kind-hearted, if I had more money/power/charm, then something would happen and my life would be better.

The qualities change, but the feeling is the same; not enough. Isn’t that sad? There is our whole, wonderful self, and we can’t see it.

The next thing that happens is that we think we have to try harder than anyone else to prove that we are even just okay.

How do I know I am good enough?

Sometimes, we feel guilty. We feel like we didn’t do all we could have, or we sneaked something, or maybe we lied. We feel like we are bad.

What makes me a good person?

So here we are, feeling not good enough, like we might even be bad, and we start making weird decisions. Maybe we push away, or don’t even see, opportunities that would make our lives more enjoyable. Maybe we don’t ask for help when we need it, and struggle, or we may ask for too much help, and start to feel helpless.  We may feel like we don’t matter, so we start lashing out at people, at ourselves.

How do I know I count?

Sometimes we make mistakes. Perhaps it’s an error in performance, or an error in judgement. Perhaps we choose not to do something we then think we should have done, or we decide to do something and then think we shouldn’t. And we have consequences for our behavior that we don’t like.

How do I let go?

The bottom line looks like this: Each of us is unique and amazing in our own way. Each of us has stuff to face, to address, to deal with, and to overcome. Each of us can do it. The past will rule us until we lay it to rest. The more we complete and integrate those past experiences, the more lovely our daily lives become. Our daily lives are meant to be full of joy, satisfaction, peace, and happiness; this is our natural state.

Sometimes we need help to address our past. Get it. You are worth it. Your life is worth it. Your happiness is worth it. Choose your teachers carefully, and do what they say.

Cut yourself some slack. Step up and step out. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Time to rise and shine.

You know what you need to do. How is now the right time to do it?

How have I changed from feeling less than to knowing I am perfection in this moment?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05182013

Finding the Best

Finding the Best

Magnificent. Phenomenal. Splendid. Grand. Stupendous. Amazing. Delightful. Glorious. Pick two.

My two this morning are Magnificent and Delightful. Yes, that’s my life. Why am I so lucky. Why are you are so lucky. Why are we are all so lucky?

What’s that you say? You aren’t lucky? If it weren’t for bad luck, you’d have no luck? You have debt? You have pain or disease? You have relationship troubles? I hear you. I’m still lucky. It’s the old saw, “The pessimist sees the glass half empty, the optimist sees it half full.” I’ve got a new bit for it -- The Creative Questioner says, “Why am I so happy to have a glass?”

What’s that you say? Rejoice in having a glass? Oh yeah!

Having a glass of my very own, I can drain it whenever I want, and refill it with my favorite drink. I can let you have a drink from it. I can give some to my cats, my baby snails. I can send it halfway around the world, and still have my glass, and still refill it with my favorite drink whenever I want. Oh, what unmitigated luxury.

This is the basic rule. If you spend time thinking about how much your life sucks, what you will see is how much your life sucks. If you spend time thinking about how cool and fun and delicious your life it, what you will see is how cool and fun and delicious your life is.

We can’t pay attention to what we aren’t paying attention to.

If you think your life sucks, you will get more suckage. If you think your life rocks, you will get more rockage.

When I slip into the wah-wahs about how other folks have it better, I pull myself out, and think about how most of the world, most of the history of humanity would be overwhelmed by the quality, the level of comfort and luxury in which I live.They would marvel at my health, my physical safety, and the peacefulness that surrounds me. They would goggle at the quality of food, the sheer quantity available, and the relatively low cost.  They would be astonished at the leisure time I have. The list is extensive. You can imagine.

Oh, I appreciate my life. Why am I so fortunate?

So, right off the top of your head, what are three things you appreciate about your life right now? If you are so inclined, post them, or send them to me.  If you can’t think of any, I’m sad that you are focused on the suckage, and hope you choose the rockage.

When I started practicing this, I had to work hard at it. I had to sit and think hard. Sometimes, I needed help to think of one good thing. When you live in misery and lack, your world is quite tiny, and dark, and smelly.

Now, even the smell of apple blossoms on a soft spring breeze can make me feel like my life is so luxurious, so abundant, and absolutely delicious. (Without benefit of mood altering chemicals!)

How have I changed from seeking the worst to finding the best?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05172013

How to Stop Worrying

How to Stop Worrying

So here’s some interesting stuff to ponder. It’s difficult to feel compassion and guilt, compassion and worry, compassion and anger or fear at the same time.

It is impossible to let go and worry, or guilty, or angry, or scary. You can’t feel peaceful and worried at the same time.

There is nothing that worrying about it can’t make worse.

So what do you do? How do you break a nice, long habit of worry?

I have a little decision tree I use on the topic of Stuff That Comes Up.

1. Notice that I am worrying. (This is tricky. It is often such an ingrained habit that we are unaware that we are doing the worra-worra dance in our head.)

2. Can I do anything about it right now?

Yes: Do it now. No: Do something else.

Notice that the operative word is “do.” Stewing isn’t doing. A tricky thing about worrying is that it makes you feel like you are doing something, clever Worry! I suppose pacing and hand-wringing is kind of doing something, as is tossing and turning, but I guess I would rather talk a brisk walk, or read.

Meditation is useful in learning to feel peaceful instead of worried. Going for that state of deep relaxation (can’t feel relaxed and worried) helps a lot. So is learning to let your thoughts flow through, rather than thinkin’ on ‘em. Learning to pull back to peaceful the moment you notice a worry-think is worth practicing.

And practice on the small stuff to start. Some days it seems we worry as much about a hole in our sock as we do about paying the mortgage.

One thing I did a lot when I first started on breaking this habit was to think-sing. I would sing in my head song after song, or bits of song. Or I would recite poems, or other things I knew by heart. Something to give your thinker something to do. If I was really up against it, I would just count.

The same basic decision tree works on guilt, too.

1. Notice I am feeling guilty.

2. Is it guilt over something I did or guilt over just being?

A. Something I did:

I.  Make amends if possible and forgive myself. (That means no beating me up for having done it.)

II. If I can’t make amends, forgive myself anyway.

B. Just being.

I. This is existential guilt. Sometime we need to get help on this one. Worth it.

How have I changed from frettin’ to feeling peaceful compassion?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05162013

Stardust and Buddha’s Breath

Stardust and Buddha’s Breath

What makes your life meaningful? What makes your heart sing? How do you know you are sacred? Why are you a divine creation?

Take a moment right now, while I’m here with you. Feel your presence. Put your hand on your heart if that helps to center you. Notice your breath. Your breath flows through you whether you pay attention, whether you are healthy, whether you are happy, or not.

Feel the spark of your light, your life force, your perfect self. Isn’t that cool? Aren’t you amazing?

You are made of stardust, the same stuff as the heavens. But, unlike the stars, you have been given life. And not the life of an amoeba, or a fly, but the life of a human being with capabilities almost beyond imagining. And what imaginations we have.

Not only that, but we breathe in a molecule or two of the last breath of the Buddha with each inhale. Or Jesus, or Genghis Khan, or Ben Franklin, or whatever historical person you wanna think of. We are connected in ways that are science-y, or mysterious, or familial, and on and on, all the way around with each other. We have common relatives when we get far enough back, and sometimes it’s not even all that far.

And we each are faced with thousands of opportunities every day to make a difference for our family, our extended family. It may be a tiny difference, but it’s a difference, nonetheless.

When we recognize our divine nature, our sacredness, we move into a higher vibration, to use the woo-woo term. It simply means that we become more aware of ourselves, both our internal lives, and external lives. We become more cognizant of our impact, our effectiveness, and how our actions ripple out across humanity.

When we recognize our divine nature, we become more responsible almost by default. We understand at a deeper level that we alone are responsible for our well being, our happiness, our quality of life, and are only responsible for ourselves. And we come to see that we harbor responsibility to all other life, from our partners and children to the creatures who live with us, and on and on.

We also find ourselves becoming more lighthearted, as though just the act of owning our divine nature, our roots in stardust, can fill our spirits with a little divine helium, or maybe it’s divine nitrous oxide, also known as laughing gas. Or maybe it’s just the joy of the universe bubbling over into us. I kinda like that idea.

The more responsibility I take for my divine existence, the more I own my me-ness, the more delightful my life becomes. I am here intentionally. My existence is not accidental. I am here to make a difference. I think, as a divine being, I would just as soon make a nice difference.

How have I changed from feeling insignificant and ineffective to owning and taking responsibility for my divine nature?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05152013

How to be Your Own Best Friend

How to be Your Own Best Friend

Back at the beginning of the end of the Dark Ages, I read a book called, “How to be Your Own Best Friend” by Mildred Newman.  I found it thought-provoking at the very least. And it got me thinking about me and you, and being friends, and respectful behavior, and cruelties and kindnesses.

We often treat ourselves a hundred times worse than we would ever treat anyone else. We can beat ourselves up over decisions made years before with a violence akin to cutting or burning or hitting ourselves. We can be so abusive to ourselves, based on unforgiving, negative moral judgement we would be appalled to apply to someone else. And we can do it without thinking.

If we heard a mommy or daddy speaking to their child the way we talk to ourselves, it would break our hearts. Maybe it did. Perhaps that’s where we learned it. Well, we’ve learned and unlearned a thousand things in our lives, and we can unlearn this, too.

It takes awareness. We have to notice we are being cruel to ourselves. And then we have to stop it. And then we have to make amends. And do it again and do it again and do it again.

It will take practice to change this one because of an icky secret. It’s often satisfying in some horrible way to be cruel to ourselves. It makes the part of us that is doing the abusing feel righteous. Beating ourselves up can leaving us feeling like we did something to correct the problem, whatever that might be.

Sometimes we feel like we deserve to be punished, and it may be the case that no one has noticed the horrible thing we did, so we punish ourselves.

Stop it.

Choose to become your own best friend. Why do I choose to be my own best friend?

Change the way you treat yourself. What makes me treat myself with kindness and respect?

Notice when you are being cruel to yourself, or others, stop it, apologize. It can feel weird at first to apologize to yourself, but believe me, it makes a difference. Just putting your hand over your heart and saying something like, “I’m sorry, that was mean. You don’t deserve to be spoken to/ treated like that.” can start making a huge change inside. It can start healing that poor baby whose loving parents didn’t know any better.

Being aware can help us notice when we are lying to ourselves, too. I love the 12th step advice, “Admitted to our higher power, to ourselves, and another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.” I don’t need to hire a billboard, but I do need to be honest with myself the best I can.

Spending time in my own company with joy can take some practice, and it’s worth it. Start easy, taking a walk alone, go to a movie you want to see, go to a coffee shop. With awareness, practice, kindness, and respect, not only will you have a friend who knows everything about you and loves you anyway, but you will also be setting the precedent for how you want to be treated by others, excellently!

How have I changed from acting like I stink to being my own very best friend forever?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05142013

The Path of P

The Path of P

Inspiration is a wonderful thing. In the olden days, “inspire” meant to inhale. I love that image. It makes me feel like a good, deep inhale pulls life, liveliness all the way inside me, In turn, that liveliness, that inhale, feeds my creativity, and wonderful ideas burgeon with all the enthusiasm of spring.

On the other hand, if we are choosing the path of negativity, even the idea of feeling passionate about something feels exhausting.

When we are choosing the path of positivity, we can’t wait to share our favorite stuff with each other. The thought of it is energizing.

Hmm.

Why would I choose the path of negativity? Well, I woke up this morning feeling tired and somewhat disinclined to my activities for the day. That got me started on the Path of N. I started to think about all the things in my life that aren’t working. All the efforts that aren’t paying off. All the bad things. All of the ways I’m .... YUCK!

When we have had the habit of negativity, it’s relatively easy to slip into it. Happily, if we are practicing, it’s also relatively easy to slip out of again. We need to be aware of stepping down that path. We need to notice how we feel, how we are thinking, what we are saying. And when we notice it, we get to un-choose it.

In the dark ages, I thought I was more creative when I was in suffering mode. I thought that creativity was born from pain. I thought that I needed to be miserable to share my visions. I was wrong about a ton of other stuff, too.

Suffering is not the human condition. Choosing suffering is a human condition, and our job, should we decide to accept it, is to un-choose it. There are a million ways we have invented to do this. We call it lots of different things; Law of Attraction, Positive Psychology, Psychology of Well Being, to name a few.

We get there by making choices every day, by constructing a life brick by brick, built of things that make us happy; good food, exercise, and sleep, and otherwise taking care of our own self, good, balanced relationships, volunteering or care-giving, a spiritual life, activities that encourage “flow,” using our strengths, and being grateful.

When I choose these things, my feelings of depletion often disappear. My disinclination to my activities often disappears. Random little symptoms often vanish, and I frequently feel full of creativity, motivation, and a sense of fun.

I have had to change my worldview on more than one occasion. I expect that I will have to change it again and again as I move ahead on the Path of P. Each time I step off the Path of N, it gets a bit more overgrown, a bit more obscure. Each time I step onto the Path of P, it gets a little better paved, a little brighter, a little easier to find.

This is my choice. Every day, sometimes many times each day, to choose up instead of down, smile instead of frown, looking for the silver lining, not the clouds.

How do I find my way with joy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05132013

Spiritual Responder

Spiritual Responder

Who am I? Why am I here? If my life changes, am I still me? What makes me, me? What makes me feel connected to others? Do my actions matter? Do my beliefs matter? Do I make a difference?

Have you embarked on your spiritual journey? Make sure you pack your personal discovery flashlight, so you can shine your light into your dark corners. You might wanna bring some courage, and some self-forgiveness, too.

Here’s how I look at it.

You know the old saw, “Wherever you go, there you are.” one of my faves. Unless I am adept at astral projection, I bring my body everywhere with me. If the roof of my home were leaking, or the basement damp, or the lights dimmed every time I turned on the micro, or wind blew through the window casements, I’d probably do something about it. Yet so many of us ignore our bodies until they are screaming at us.

We ignore our hunger, or thirst, or fatigue. We ignore so much of the regular information it sends us, that when it sends us important stuff, we are in the habit of ignoring that, too. Often to our detriment.

Why do I listen to my body?

We have feelings, those emotion-thought loops that set our moods, direct our behavior.  When we let these rule our lives, we often behave in reprehensible ways. We do things that hurt others, that hurt ourselves. And we say, “That’s just how I am.”

Why do I care about my behavior?

We have situational patterns, events that happen over and over; getting fired, working for abusive people, having an accident when someone wants our help, the money fight at 9:30 on Sunday morning. We don’t wonder why that happens, we don’t look for the source of the pattern to change it, we may not even be aware that it is a pattern.

Why do I notice my patterns?

When I accept the responsibility of learning who I am, how I am, what I like, or dislike, how I have fun, what I’m good at, where I come from, and accept the responsibility of addressing my issues and topics, I accept the responsibility for my life. I am responsible for my happiness, my well being, my spiritual strength.

As I own my responsibilities for my life, it becomes easier and easier to let go of worry, guilt, struggle, and misery. It becomes easier and easier to relax into my natural life, to be present, to be aware, to behave mindfully.

It seems impossible, that taking more responsibility for my life would make it so much easier, but there you have it. Doing what seems impossible is often where real change happens.

How have I changed from ignoring my me to owning that I am the only one responsible for me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05122013

Growing Peaceful

Growing Peaceful

Early morning birdsong drifting through the open window on a cool, soft breeze. Baby leaves on the big tree are dancing in their spring green finery, dipping and bobbing to a complicated melody led by a cheery robin. I feel peaceful.

I often feel peaceful in heavy traffic, too. Imagine that.

As I have relaxed into my life, that peaceful feeling has grown up from the inside out. It has pushed out worry, and guilt, and that vague, anxious feeling. Most of the time, it’s right there.

At our core, we are all peaceful.

Little by little, or in big sweeping chunks, we bury it beneath negative  thoughts about the past, negative thoughts about the future. We have these thoughts, they, in turn, generate the physical response of emotions, and we do it over and over and the next thing we know, we are filled with anxieties and worry, even guilt over simply being.

At our core, we are all peaceful.

As I move into my present, the emo-frack falls away. When I am in the present moment, I am full of that experience. There is no room for indulging in the drama of fear of the future, or guilt about the past. When I am full of my present moment, I have a direct line to that nice feeling of peace at the core of me-all.

When I am having direct experience, fully in the moment, I am not labeling my experience, I am having it. I am not thinking about it, I am having it. I am free of the negative fantasy sisters, Worry, Guilt, and Anxiety. They cannot exist in the present moment.

When I notice that I’m in my head in those negative ways, I get into my body. My preference is to notice my feet, to feel them where they are; soles, toes, tops. I notice their temperature, and all the other sensations I can feel. When I am completely aware of my feet, I have stopped the negative fantasy sisters in their tracks.

Some people like to notice their backside in their chair, or their shoulders, or hands. Pick the part you like, it doesn’t matter. What matters is to distract your thoughts from all that negativity, to break the cycle.

My negative thoughts act like salt poured on the ground of my inner garden. How’s that for a metaphor? You gardeners know that you kill plants when you salt ‘em. And enough salt on the ground will stop things from growing at all.

Happily, negative thoughts can’t kill our perfect self, we can always return to it.

We are all peaceful at our core.

When I stop, let go, and soften, peace is right there. I don’t need to try for it, I just need to relax and be present.

How have I changed from creating drama to relaxing into my natural life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05112013

Keeping the Pet Hair Down

Keeping the Pet Hair Down

I drew the “Why is it so easy?” card this morning. Oh, I love that question. Easy is so easy. And so much of life being easy is about how we look at it.

When I come at my day feeling heavy, and see my activities looming before me as obligations, my day is hard, and endless. I get to the end of it feeling exhausted, and kind of sad.

I find that it often happens when I don’t take care of myself; under sleeping, skipping meals, running running running with no break. Frankly, that’s just being irresponsible.

I see that surprises some of you. How can being so super busy be irresponsible? It boils down to how we manage our resources.

You can’t drive a car without fuel in it. You can push it, or pull it, but you can’t drive it.

You can’t pour a delicious, refreshing beverage from an empty pitcher.

You can’t pick a sweet, juicy plum from a barren plum tree.

A dear friend taught me a precious lesson on this topic. She was a stay-at-home-mom. We were working on a project together, and I got to spend a lot of time in her lovely, cozy home. She vacuumed every day. She said that she had to in order to keep the pet hair down.

She got a job. She stopped vacuuming every day. Now she vacuums once a week or so.  She has to, to keep the pet hair down. (Changing her vacuuming habit gained her a couple hours each week.)

One way I live easy is I check in on my priorities. Only one thing can be top priority. It should be managing my internal resources. If I have no juice, I can’t share it with you. I mean, d’uh. The rest of my priorities need regular check-ins. Often something that I’m doing from habit can be eliminated. That can free up a lot of easy. And still keep the pet hair down.

One way I live easy is I manage my external resources. I make sure the car is taken care of so I can do stuff in it. I make sure I have the things that make me feel settled. For me, it’s toilet paper, kitty litter and cat food, and fruit.

One way I live easy is I manage my internal resources. I experience my emotions. I use Creative Questions. I have meditative and contemplative practices. I have friends whom I can tell anything, and do.

One way I live easy is my attitude. How do I feel when I live easy? When I am living easy, I feel relaxed, I feel happy, I feel productive. I want to do what I can to help you. I sleep deeply and peacefully. Easy is nice.

I have to give up some stuff to live easy. I have to give up worry. I have to give up guilt. I have to give up being a victim or a martyr. I have to give up stressing out about stuff. I have to give up beating myself up over stuff. A lot of sacrifices. But it’s worth it.

How have I changed from living hard to living easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05102013

People is Just All Y’All

People is Just All Y’All

Back in the Before Times, I used to joke, albeit bitterly, “I like people, it’s the individuals I can’t stand.”

It was defensive dislike. I figured if I didn’t like you first, you’d never find out how awful I was. I was so afraid of you, of your negative moral judgements of me, afraid of your anger, your neediness, your capricious decisions that hurt me. I just did what I could to stay away.

Little by little, I came to see that you weren’t like that, I was wrong. Oh, how wonderful that was! I saw that you were loving, and kind, and took care of yourself, both your physical needs, and your emotional ones. You didn’t judge me, or punish me, or hurt me on a whim. In fact, you turned out to be really great!

And as I got used to the idea that you weren’t out to get me, I could start to see me more clearly, and I could start to change the things about me that I didn’t like. It meant that I could see you, not as a paragon, but as a person, a nice person I liked, who had  some stuff.

Everyone has stuff.

My job is to address my stuff and clear it out. I want my emotional basement to sparkle. I know that, because I’m human, I will always be shoving stuff down there, unopened boxes of fear or traumas, anger, that sort of thing, but I am also dealing with it regularly.

This may not be on your priority list, resolving your stuff, that is. and if not, you might want to reconsider your stand. On the other hand, you are reading this, so I think you want stuff to be better, you want your life to be better, more fun, more love, more satisfaction, and easier.

Creative Questions will help you do that. In fact, changing your thinking is the only thing that will do that, whatever technique you use. That’s how we change our behavior, both external, and internal.

I know, it’s kind of funny to think of having internal behavior. But we do. We have a bunch of relationships that just exist in our minds, and bodies. We have different “selves” who are giving us advice about everything, who say stuff like, “Don’t go into your emotional basement! It’s dangerous!”  Or, “You can do this! You are amazing! Go for it!”

Well, let’s push the metaphor a bit. You have a lovely home, beautiful yard, interesting, attractive things, but there is a horrible odor that permeates everything. Opening the windows doesn’t help. Air fresheners don’t touch it, and you never quite get use to it. It’s worse than cat pee.

It’s coming up from your emotional basement where things have been mouldering since your childhood.

Until we integrate and resolve our past, it will inform our everything, every thought, every belief, every feeling. It will create our present, and our future and we will be subject to it whether we like or no.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather not live a stinky life. So I do what I need to. I have lots of tools available to me, and wonderful teachers and healers, loving friends who support me, and sacred spaces where I refresh. I know how to ask for help. I can say yes, and no. I can set boundaries, I can experience my emotions. I can change my thoughts and my behavior. I can live easy.

How have I changed from fearing people to recognizing that “people” is just you all?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05092013