In Me I Trust

In Me I Trust

I have mentioned our superpowers before. I like the concept. It goes like this.

We all have characteristics as part of our personalities. In and of themselves, they are neutral, that is, they are neither good or bad things, they just are.

Our experience of them changes depending on how well we utilize them as tools to support us.

Empathy is a good example. I’ve worked with a lot of people who are quite empathic, that is, they pick up on and feel what someone else, or a group is feeling. When they don’t know they are empathic, it can make them feel crazy. They start to feel angry when they were calm, they are suddenly anxious when nothing seems to have changed. Or really sad when they haven’t had a loss.

When they come to understand their gift, they can use it to help whoever is feeling those feelings, or to read a group. They can acknowledge that they are feeling something from someone else, identify it, let it go, and get back to their own feelings. Then they can choose to help the other person, clarify what is going in in their group, or if the circumstances are such that it might not be a good idea, they can move on. By taking responsibility for their power, they claim it and it becomes a superpower.

Why am I powerful? What makes me take responsibility for my gifts? How am I competent?

Creativity is another potential superpower. We may feel like our creativity is hit or miss, that sometimes we feel creative, and other times, we feel dry. When we own that we are creative, practice our creativity every day, it’s like grading a cow path into a road. It is easy to get there, easy to reach our creative source, and easy to draw from it whenever we wish. Creativity becomes a superpower.

How do I know I am creative? What makes me ingenious? Why am I capable?

Trust is a potential superpower many of us have some issues with. We may have a history of trusting untrustworthy people. We may have a history of assuming that things don’t go our way. We may feel unlucky, or doomed, or helpless.

Why would things go my way? How do I feel present and safe? Why can I trust?

My biggest challenge was learning to trust myself. I often trusted abusive people because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Seriously. As I learned to trust my instincts, my wisdom, my senses, I felt more in charge of my trust. I didn’t have to give it to anyone who asked for it any more than I had to give cash to anyone who asked. As I owned my feelings, I didn’t worry so much about hurting yours. I came to understand that I couldn’t make you feel hurt. You, just like I, have choices about how you want to feel.

As I have come to trust the Universe to bring me the opportunities I need to grow, my life has gotten way easier, way more fun. I no longer fear that a string of good things means that something bad is going to happen. I understand that the stuff that happens in my life is neutral until I judge it. I trust that I can cope well, that I have resources, that I can accept, and enjoy at least in some way, whatever comes to me.

How have I changed from doubting me to trusting myself and my circumstances?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07282014

Blooming You

Blooming You

How do you feel when you are blossoming? How do you feel when you feel ripe and luscious? How do you feel when you feel brilliant and shiny? How do you feel when you know you are amazing?

The Universe exists, in all it’s infinite glory, to support your well being. You did know that, right?

At any given moment, all the resources you need are available to you. You may need to ask for them, you may need to seek them, you may deny yourself them, depending on the lessons you have to learn, but they are there.

Try that concept on for a bit: How do I feel when I know all the resources I need are available to me?

The next question, of course, is what do we need?

Finding our answers to this question is so important. We cannot give each other what we need if we don’t know what it is.

Infants have few needs; food, liquid, shelter, clean diapers, comfort, entertainment. As we age, our fundamental needs may stay the same, but our secondary needs, and our wants, shift and change, develop and mature.

What do I need? What do I want? How do I know what I want? How do I know what I need? How do I feel when I know what I want? What makes me sure?

Sometimes, I like to imagine the genie in the bottle, and what I would wish for. It used to be stuff. Now it’s more about changing habits and behavior. That kind of cracked me up. But it’s useful to imagine that you can get anything you need, you just need to ask, clearly.

Because that’s pretty true.

So I get to use my imagination, think about the situation I want to change, or the thing I don’t have, or the thing I don’t want anymore, and how to make a shift.

For instance, I don’t like feeling like I’m procrastinating, especially at home. I like feeling innocent when I’m relaxing, not like I’m avoiding something. I noticed that, on days when I was feeling really avoid-y, I would come home, and go straight upstairs to the TV. I would start watching, and tell myself that I would do X later, but somehow, suddenly, it was always past my bedtime.

I paid attention to the behavior, and realized that turning to the stairs was my start point for procrastinating my evening away. Now, I don’t go straight upstairs, I stay on the main floor, and get some stuff done. I love that. Often, I find that getting stuff done makes me wanna get stuff done, so I feel motivated and inspired. I have taken another step deeper into my natural life, and living there is so easy and enjoyable.

Taking a little bit of time now and then to see who I am, how I am, and to imagine how I want to be, trusting the Universe will provide me with what I need for my specific lessons, goals, and treats.

How have I changed from plodding along in my life to living with joy and depth and wonder?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 12092013

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How to Chinwag Good

How to Chinwag Good

You know how much I like to talk about super powers. Probably comes from all the hours I stole from sleep to spend reading Superman comics in the middle of the night. Be that as it may, learning to harness our super powers transforms our lives.

Because learning to harness our powers for good is part of growing up, and not harnessing them causes all sorts of trouble.

Empathy one of yours? Until you learn to control it, you can end up feeling crazy, rageful for no reason, sobbing, and so on. Uncontrolled empathy is exhausting.

Creativity is another one. Uncontrolled creativity will often manifest as worry. Uncontrolled creativity loves to play the “what’s the worst that could happen” game at 3:00 AM. Bwahahaha!

Decision and Choice are wonder twin super powers. Unharnessed, we can find ourselves making amazingly awful decisions over and over again, hideous choices that can have a deleterious impact for years.

The one I’ve been thinking about today is communication.

Crappy communication destroys worlds.

Learning to communicate effectively was very interesting, and very challenging. I specialized in snark. My sarcasm had a laser edge and I slashed with it. (I am so sorry that I hurt you with my words.) I could scream hysterical ravings with the best of them, I was a blamer and a shamer, and would try to guilt you into the next country. I hated me, and so I hated you. I often spoke to you as though you were an idiot. (I am so sorry.) I craved your company, longed for kind words, but was pretty much deaf to them.

Crappy communication skills do weird things.

I actually had to take communication classes, and practice like mad at first, but, as is so often the case for me, it’s really paid off.

For example. Unless you are warning me of danger imminent, yelling is just emoting, and once you start yelling, I hear yelling, not communication. It floods me with adrenaline and can easily lead to things getting way out of hand.

For example. “You” statements are likely to fire up the listener, especially if there is a conflict.

For example. Being vague or circuitous leads to huge misunderstandings.

Turning communication into a super power is a multi-faceted undertaking. I have to want to improve my communication skills. I have to have some respect for me, and some respect for you. I have to be willing to change what I’ve always done, and to allow new stuff in. I have to be willing to experience what changes clear, respectful communication brings. Sometimes the hardest thing is tolerating good stuff when I’m not used to it. On the other hand, clarifying my communications makes life easier because I have said, “1, 2, 3,” and you responded with, “4, 5, 6.”

How have I changed from communicating poorly to enjoying communicating effectively?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10242013