Acting As If

Acting As If

The commitment card came up again this morning. When they are showing up close like that, I usually take it as an opportunity to delve deeper into what these particular Creative Questions can bring us. In this case, I want to look at our emo-habits and commitments.

We know we have a big ol’ emo-habit cookin’ when we say, “That’s just the way I am.”

We are never “just that way.” We are in a constant state of flux. Our bodies are constantly renewing on a cellular level, We are growing stuff like hair, nails, skin. We are having new experiences, even if we feel like we are in a rut. Each encounter is new, each interaction has potential to go in other directions.

What we are saying when we say, “That’s just the way I am,” is that this is what I am committed to, irrespective of whether it supports me.

“But, but, but...” I hear you say. The point is, do you believe that a person can change how they think, or not?

Why can I choose? What makes me explore my own self? How do I decide?

Sometimes we think that it is easier to stay as we are, or as we think we are. We consider ourselves, then, almost as two-dimensional beings, without depth, without free will. We may feel like our circumstances have us trapped in a life we don’t particularly like.

Somewhere inside we know that we do have free will, and that we feel like we have somehow traded it in for familiarity, because abandoning our free will for status quo is rarely a barter we make for joy or fun or peace. Sometimes we feel as though changing our perceived status quo would create such upheaval that we are afraid to try.

And so we commit to living a life of sorrow, or misery, or fear. We bring to bear all the amazing skills and creativity and resources we have to maintaining thought patterns and habits that bring us down, keep us small, hold us in. Poor we.

We decide that other people are different from us. That the people who create positive change in their lives have some mysterious thing in their character that we don’t have, that we have a fatal flaw that holds us back.

All we have is a strong commitment, based on beliefs, which are just ideas we give credence to.

What am I committed to? Where do I put my energy? What do I believe of me?

Sometimes we need to decide that we will act as if. Act as if we deserve better, act as if we are worth it, act as if we matter. This can be a surprising effective thing, acting as if. When we do this, we access more resourceful parts of ourselves, and can find new strength, new vigor, new abilities, even.

How have I changed from feeling trapped to committing to living my life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08142014