Connections

Connections

I tend to sit on the cusp between extrovert and introvert. I have changed a lot in that regard over the years, and feel like I have experienced both sides; getting juiced up being with people and getting juiced up being on my own.

When I am deep in introvert, engaging can be challenging. My inclination is to close off, to withdraw, and to spend my day in distractions. I don’t often feel recharged, but I do feel unjazzed up. Thing is, when I am in that space, I tend to push me to far, and feel like I need more than I can get to regroup. Oy.

Why would I engage? What makes me connect? Why am I good company?

If I am paying attention to how I am feeling inside regarding intro- and extro- I do a lot better. I do better by finding my place of stillness inside. I do better by listening carefully. I do better by staying really aware of my surroundings, that is, situational awareness, and of me, to keep my breaths full, to stay aware of my body. I learned in Hong Kong that I can be in a big surging crowd and stay relaxed by staying aware of my physical boundaries, and letting them be flexible.

In general, the more I relax, the less taxing life is. The more I choose peaceful, the easier my days are. The more I choose light the more fun I have. The more I trust that things will go my way, well, you see the pattern.

How have I changed from feeling closed off to opening up?

When I am going to do something out of my normal day, I often imagine feeling great about it. Not necessarily why I would feel great, or how, just feeling great. One of my faves recently involved going to my tire place and while I was waiting, they gave me lunch. Really. In the olden days, I would have gone with headphones and my computer and withdrawn. By choosing to open up instead, by choosing to engage, I chatted with the guys, talked about what I like about how they do business, and at least in a small way connected. Lunch was homemade egg rolls, in case you were wondering. Delish!

Because I have learned to trust my judgment, I know when it is likely safe to open up, and when I need to mind my own business. I can usually tell when to make eye contact, when to avoid it, when to say hello, when to stay quiet. Because I have come to trust my judgment, I know when I need to get off by myself for a bit and regroup. I know that when I am feeling anxious about something, I am having negative fantasies about the experience, and can address them, and let them go.

Why do I enjoy opening up? What makes engaging fun? Why do I like people?

A really nice, really simple equation for a pleasant life is, “the more I like me, the easier I can like you.”  When I am feeling down on me, you drive me nuts. Heh.

Really opening up when I am with you, from a place of relaxation, peace, and softness supports me. It brings me into my natural life where engaging is natural, just something we do. It helps you open up with me, and that connection is precious.

How have I changed from avoided engagement to relaxed connections?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08012014