Am I With Me, Or Against Me?

Am I With Me, Or Against Me?

Imagine this scenario if you will: Introverted female, very uncomfortable around people she doesn’t know, not all that comfy around people she does, trying to spend time alone, which should be more comfortable, but she doesn’t feel comfortable around herself, either.

I filled volumes writing about what was wrong with me, with my life, and, sorry to say, with you. Every so often, I will find a single page with a date from days of yore, and I am amazed at how homogenized all those entries are. I pretty much could have written the same thing every day for twenty years. Um. I pretty much did.

In the olden days, I wouldn’t have minded being alone, but I never was, I always had to be with me, and I sure didn’t like me very much. I thought me was super annoying.

So where do you sit with you?

Are you someone whose company you really enjoy, or someone you’d really like to ditch?

Here’s the thing. Until we make friends with ourselves, we are going to have a rough go of it. Until we make friends with ourselves, we will be at loggerheads with the only one who can help us make the changes we want in our lives. Isn’t that fascinating?

So how do I become my friend?

First, I need to decide that I will accept me as I am; a work in progress, making progress and mistakes. I need to let go my super high standards and bring them down to realistic. I will check in with people whom I respect about what expectations are reasonable, and I will do what I can to apply them to myself.

Second, I will be as forgiving of myself as I would be of any baby. Babies screw up all the time. They puke on stuff, pee and poo wherever they feel like, throw things. Babies don’t use their words. As long as I am trying, I will be kind, and encouraging, I will refrain from getting angry with me.

Third, I will acknowledge my triumphs, no matter how small. I will celebrate, preferably with people who get what I’m doing. I will maintain a list of my successes each day. I will not maintain a list of my failures.

Fourth, I will choose to feel grateful several times a day for my wonderful self, my decision to be my own friend, and anything else I can be grateful to me for .

Fifth, I will smile at me in the mirror with loving kindness, and stop making horrible faces at me. I will own that without me I am nothing, and that I am here to support me all the way.

Sixth, I will practice with consistency these few little things. I will make a note on my mirror, I will put sticky notes around to remind me, I will clue my dearest friends in to what I’m doing so they can help me correct self-deprecations.

Oh, yeah. When I am supporting me, there is no stopping us.

How have I changed from not liking me to being my own biggest fan?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 07102013