You Are So Cute!

You Are So Cute!

Quick, no thinking about it, what’s your best feature? Is it your cute nose? Or your expressive eyes? Maybe it’s your strong hands, or your lovely hair.

Many years ago, I was working with a lovely young woman. I asked her to name three things she liked about her body and appearance, and she burst into tears. It was the first time that happened with a client, but sadly, it was not the last time.

So many of us are preoccupied with thinking horrible things about our beautiful selves. We don’t see what the world sees, objectively. We see deformed monsters, blobs of globby fat with faces, skin that is wrong, eyes that are wrong, too short, too tall.

It’s enough to break your heart.

I know what it’s like, growing up with tons of criticism on one’s appearance. It was awful. I got so self-conscious, depressed, obsessed with controlling what I ate, spending a fortune trying to find the perfect lipstick, or shoes, or hairdo that would magically transform my hideous self into a princess.

And then I said, “Enough.”

Well, actually, it was way more words than that, and involved some very colorful language. But the upshot was that I decided to stop struggling and see what happened. I gained a lot of weight.

On the other hand, I began to pay attention to how I was talking to me. Oh, my. If you’d talked to me like that I would have dropped you like a hot potato. Not that you ever would.

So I noticed when I said horrible, mean things to me about how I looked, and then, the same way I would with anyone, I would apologize to me as sincerely as I could. And then I would say something complimentary.

It felt weird, but it also felt nice. Little by little, I stopped hating my appearance. Little by little I began to love my body, to love being in my body.

Practice. Nice, steady, consistent, practice.  

I am so cute.

Why do you like your look? What makes you so attractive? How do you know you are good looking?

Noticing what we are saying to ourselves, and then apologizing and correcting it will make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself. Noticing what you are saying to your children, and then apologizing and correcting it will make a huge difference in their lives. Likewise with your family, friends, colleagues.

I have made a habit of blurting out compliments to strangers. In the years I’ve been admiring clothing, accessories, hairdos and so on, no one has ever been mad. See how you feel when you start admiring your looks instead of trying to correct them. Notice how you feel when you feel love for your sweet body just as it is.

It’s a nice feeling.

How have I changed from hating and correcting to loving my wonderful body right in this moment?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 07072013