On Getting Help From You

On Getting Help From You

When I am active, and like what I do, celebrating makes it all the richer. When I choose to engage with you, when I feel appreciation for what you are doing, our interactions can be so fun. We can learn stuff from each other, and even work on what a dear friend calls our Chronic Hug Deficiencies, or CHD.

Nice is always out there. I think that is so weird. Like the Henry Ford quote, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.” So it is that if you think the world is a loving, helpful place, or a place full of jerks, you’re right.

Do you think I’m lying to you?

I really started to see the difference when dealing with customer service, but now I see it all over.

When I approach you with kindness and respect, and a lighthearted attitude, you respond to me, in general, in the same way.

When I approach you with anger, blame, and aggression, you respond to me, in general, in the same way.

On the one hand, I cannot change you. You have to decide that you want to change, and you have to do the work.

On the other hand, I can create an environment that is supportive of your change, supportive of the behaviors you want to encourage, supportive of what I want from you, too.

And when I blend active, enjoyable, and celebratory all rolled into one. we are going to have fun regardless of what the sitch may be.

When I remember that my issue was not caused by the person I’ve gone to for help, we are, suddenly, on the same team. When I remember that we are on the same team, we can figure out a good solution, and you will often be a little bit nicer to me because I’m a teammate. Usually that doesn’t happen when I’m being an angry jerk.

How can I enjoy this situation? Why do I celebrate? It doesn’t take much to celebrate. A simple “hooray!” or perhaps a “good for us!” will often suffice; we don’t need fireworks, or a parade, or even cake, although cake is nice.

It works all over. It works with customer service people, clerks, attendants, administrative assistants, friends, family, and co-workers.

I mean, who would think that treating people with warmth and respect instead of anger and nastiness would make a difference? (Do detect the hint of snark in there.)

As a dear friend says, “It’s simple and stupid.”

How have I changed from blaming and aggressive stuff towards you to treating you with respect and kindness?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 07142013