Heal Me

Heal Me

We people are so passionate, even when we think we aren’t all that invested in anything. I love how vehemently we believe our beliefs, even when those beliefs make us suffer. These are ideas we are even willing to die for. Many of us have them, and we tend to think of religion and politics as the two biggies, but there are others to which we are so committed.

Health, diet, and exercise are the trifecta.

Why am I healthy? Why does all I consume nourish me? Why am I alive?

I believed, because of a doctor’s casual comment, that I would be dead by the time I was twenty-three. I was working nights at the time, and waiting for midnight was pretty tense. I actually was scared that I would drop dead before the stroke of midnight.

I didn’t.

You might guess that I was almost obsessed with my health, but I was actually more obsessed with illness. My focus was on sick. I had the chronic. Chronic headaches, chronic back pain, stomach issues, joint issues, vision problems, chronic colds and flu. I could always find some symptom in my body to fret about. So I slept poorly. I was so clenched that I ended up at the Mayo Clinic to find out why I couldn’t move my neck or shoulders.

I was obsessed with my diet. I starved me, I overfed me, I went on health-food kicks that left me feeling weak and feeble. I took dozens of supplements at a high cost every month. I was sure that there was a miracle food I could find that would solve all my problems.

I expected the dentist to bring me terrible pain, and was never disappointed. I was sure I would suffer the day or two after a big workout. I was exhausted and lethargic much of the time, even though I was running all day long. And  I knew that by the time I reached middle age I would be crippled.

I’m not.

Why do I enjoy radiant health? What makes me feel my vitality? Why am I energetic?

By processing through our old emo-stuff, we let go. As we let go, specific parts of our body also unclench allowing our life-force to flow there, bring health back to those parts. Our bodies make symptoms in the places that correspond to our idea. When the middle finger is sore, for example, we are often having a “f*ck you” thing going on that is just out of awareness. I had a very experience-y toe joint when I was refusing to “toe the line.” I know it sounds goofy as all get out, but more and more we are finding that the correlation between mind and body can be very specific.

As I have come to soften my hold on my beliefs, I am willing to let go of ideas that make me suffer, like focusing on being sick. When I focus on what feels great, I can often let go of discomfort. If it is very insistent, I will attend to it, and do what I can to uncover my very personal message. I find that relaxing, breathing deeply, and asking good Creative Questions about my health and wellness will often do as much for me as taking a pill ever did in the past, without nasty side effects.

Because I know my body and how it feels so well, I know when I need to address a topic with healers, and when I can just let it run its course.

How have I changed from believing I am sick to noticing how I feel healthy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07292014