Being the Way

Being the Way

When I was a kid, I did a lot of folk dancing. We had a learning time at the beginning of each dance session, and I learned a lot. One of my favorite lines came from those sessions, “Do as I do, not as I say.” I liked it so much, because that’s what we do. You can preach to me all you want, but if you aren’t living your lessons, I most certainly am not interested in listening to you.

Walking the talk.

We don’t like to think about it, but we are watched. Our kids watch us, and so do our partners, and neighbors, our co-workers, our community members, our friends. You know, because you watch, too. We don’t mean anything by it, it simply that we are interested in each other.

I don’t think about being watched very much. I have my code, I tend to follow it. Sometimes I am doing, sometimes, I am just being. Every so often I think about what I’m doing. How am I the way I want to be? Am I having fun? Do I feel connected? Do I enjoy what I do? Am I following my passion? Is there something else I want to make time for? Is there a habit I want to change? How could I do that in a way that would be easy?

Most of those questions are not Creative Questions, but they are useful questions.

I have learned about me that if I can find a way to enjoy it, I can do pretty much anything. Each of us has our own values. When I identify my top values, like enjoyment, and make decisions based on them, I have a good day.

Sometimes I get caught up in the doing of stuff and I fall into routines that don’t necessarily support me in a very good way. I can usually tell if I don’t feel content at the end of the day. Once in a while is one thing, but when it is day after day, I may wanna take a look.

Each of us has the capacity to be a leader. We don’t have to try, we just need to live most days in a way that feels good to us from the inside out, in a way that we feel good about our day when we go to bed. Living in congruence with what matters to us automatically makes us leaders.

I like to have fun. I like to feel useful. I like to feel generous and kind. I like to learn. I like to create all kinds of stuff. I like to connect. My passion is writing about this stuff, and I do that every day unless there are extremely exceptional circumstances. I don’t always act on all my top values everyday. I love to hang out with my friends and family, and I love solitude, but they don’t go together. A lot of the learning I do is through reading. When I am reading, I am not creating. It’s a seesaw thing, some days this, some days that, and at the end of a while, stuff is pretty balanced.

That balance is important. It’s nice to feel it inside, and it’s nice outside, too. Some of us will lead in the front, some of us from the middle, some of us from behind. Each of those kinds of leaders is crucial to the well-being of our communities. We tend to notice the ones up front, just because that’s where they are, but think about your best communities, and how you see people leading from other places. While I enjoy public speaking, and love to perform in my choir and other singing groups, I prefer to lead in small groups or one-on-one. It feels more like chatting, and I love to chat.

Leading by example is easy. That’s something else I value, easy. I know how to make things hard, but it usually is kind of exhausting, and doesn’t leave me much energy for having fun. When we lead by example, we are automatically an inspiration to someone who needs a little inspiration. We may never know the impact we have, but we can trust that it happens.

How have I changed from preaching to leading by example?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07142014