Getting Free

Getting Free

We talk about this one from time to time, but I think it is worth remembering, and addressing. The card I pulled is “Why do I forgive?” Oo, powerful. This is a mighty let-go question, good for serious clearing, making serious room for nice things to come into our lives.

There is a lovely practice called Ho’oponopono. In the ultra simplified version we say, “I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.” There is a formal practice with it, and trainings are available, and you can just start using the phrases right now.

We all make negative moral judgments about a lot of stuff. We make them about each other, about people we don’t know, about corporations and governments and nations, even about humanity in general.

The ability to make moral judgments is necessary for us to live well. It’s how we structure our code of ethics; this right and this is wrong. Useful for getting on with stuff, staying out of bad trouble, not hurting others for the fun of it.

One way we do make trouble for ourselves is by judging ourselves too harshly. We judge our behavior, our appearance, our intelligence, our habits, our possessions, our home, our circumstances. We find them not meeting our standards, and we punish ourselves, often in ways we would never punish someone else, Often in ways that we are barely aware of. Oh, poor little we.

Why do I forgive? How am I kind to myself? What makes me let go? Why do I trust? Why can I choose?

There is a big difference between blaming ourselves and taking responsibility for our circumstances. We all have circumstances. Sometimes we bring them about, sometimes they just seem to show up. It’s how we cope with them that determines how we feel about them.

I can spend my energy fighting them, hating them, beating myself up for being in them. I can blame, I can “should” myself to pieces, I can keep myself up nights stewing about them. If psychic energy, and physical energy, were dollars, how much would you be spending on all this re-feeling about stuff?

I can grant myself clemency. I can ask myself useful questions. How could this benefit me? What might I want to change? How do I accept my current circumstances, and thrive within them? Why am I strong? How am I competent? What makes me capable? Why am I worthy?

Choosing to forgive myself, to let go, is a power-choice. When I choose to accept my current circumstances as perfect for me at this time I am choosing to be free. Free from my “shoulds” as in I should be doing something else, I should have different circumstances, I should be a different way.

When I wake up stressed or anxious in the middle of the night. I am should-ing. I should have done my taxes/laundry/homework/job-hunt/exercises/project. I can use the Ho’oponopono phrases to myself, as a chant, to forgive me for my shortcomings, my omissions, my mistakes in judgment. I can do a body-scan to get me out of my head, or pay attention to my breathing. I don’t have to feed the bad feelings. I can forgive me.

How have I changed from judging my behavior harshly to freeing myself with forgiveness?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07272014