Peaceful Easy Feeling

Peaceful Easy Feeling

Being able to get to my peaceful place has been such a gift in my life. That sense of calm, of respite, of soft. I love to take a deep breath, and center into that space, letting things go. It’s like hitting a reset button.

I know so many of us don’t get there very often. Some of us think, “I can’t, it’s too hard.” Some of us think, “Peace is denied me for some reason.” Some of us think, “I just don’t know how.”

One of my favorite quotes, “The limits of my language are the limits of my world.” Ludwig Wittgenstein said that. I first encountered it in high school, and have thought about it a lot since then. It seems to dovetail nicely with the Henry Ford quote, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

So many of us have taken the notion that we just are the way we are, kind of miserable a lot of the time, but not so awful that we feel compelled to do something about it. Like having a low-grade infection that keeps our energy down, or a mild skin irritation that keeps us feeling itchy a lot, but not enough to drive us nuts most of the time. Just kinda down. Just kinda low. Just kinda blah.

Why would I choose peaceful? How am I in charge of me? What makes me decide?

That mild negativity is insidious, depleting our juice one drop, one drop, one more drop at a time until we wonder what’s the point.

Language. The language we use all the time has a powerful impact on our experience, more than any other thing.

When I am using vaguely negative language to describe my life, to you, or to myself, that’s how I feel, meh. I pay more attention to the ick than the nice, I notice more what’s off than what’s on, I feel dissatisfied.

I didn’t get enough sleep/downtime/attention/work done/fill in the blank. Now I am setting myself in a little hole of discontent, and I can dig it deeper quite easily. Or I can choose to reframe my experience into something that feels good.

How do I choose? Why do I accept my now? How am I present?

Discontent is often just a little clench, but a clench nonetheless. It is based on expectations of how something should go, and shoulds often get us in trouble. I used to think that I should get a certain amount of sleep in a certain way, and if I didn’t I would spend the next day feeling wiped out. Instead, I can let it go, and know that I can have a good day anyway. I used to think that relaxing was for the end of the day, and then the end of the day would come and I would be so cranked up I couldn’t relax.

Taking a relaxation break during the day to take a few deep breaths, to soften clenched muscles, to soften our thoughts, makes relaxing easier in general. I have two little patterns I use a lot. When I hear someone say “breathe” I take a few deep breaths. Easy. And when I want a little relaxation break, I sit down, put my hands flat on my thighs, and soften. Those two things are called “anchors” and they help us establish new habits.

How have I changed from feeling like I don’t get to have peace to claiming peaceful for my own?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 07262014