Turning To to For

Turning To to For

I do a lot of clacking on the keys about how our point of view, our attitude, impacts everything in our lives. Have you absorbed that one yet? I know it’s tricky, and I know that it seems impossible, that simply shifting your attitude could change stuff, but Holy Moly! Once you get it, you will be amazed.

One of the Creative Questions I love is “Why do things go my way?” It’s a POV question. Here’s why:  When I approach my life with the attitude that nothing goes my way, I am always looking for the cloud. I scan for the trouble, the hardship, the rough patches, the pain. I win money, I grumble about the taxes. I am given a car, I feel annoyed about having to gas it and maintain it. You give me a job, I complain about the work. There isn’t one wonderful thing that I can’t find something to feel crabby about.

The question we seem to be asking is, “How am I a victim in this situation?”

I knew this one really well. Being a victim is a dark place. Occasionally, I would feel light, but it was from an external source, and dimmed quickly. But therein lies the crux. When I feel like a victim, I am passive. I am relying on external forces to define me.

I identify with my story. I am one with my troubles, my pain, my grief, my shame, my despair. Things happen to me and I feel beaten down.  Even the good things, which, of course, never last very long.

The bad creative question here, “Why don’t things ever go my way?”

When I am living a passive life, I can be miserable and blameless; things happen to me. You are the source, of all the goodness in my life, and all the crap. So my being a victim is your fault. Isn’t that neat and tidy? However, when I step up and choose to live an active life, things happen for me.

Oh, the power of the preposition.

When I change the question, when I flip it, I start looking for how things are going my way. I start looking for why things go my way. I start looking for opportunities, for hidden treasure, for happy surprises. And guess what happens when I seek those things.

Oh, yeah.

The world is a dynamic place. We are always doing, always making choices, even when we choose not to choose. And stuff is always happening that has an impact on us. We decide if it happens to us or for us. It is the reason for our ability to judge.

Since I decided that one of my purposes in life was to clear out my emo crap, I tend to see emotionally challenging events as opportunities to examine my reactions, or to enjoy my responses. The physically challenging events are informative, what is my body telling me? The ethical challenge, the moral challenges, so many opportunities to grow, to enjoy my process, to learn, and then to teach and share. Riches beyond measure.

When I trust that my life unfolds for my benefit, not to crush me, I lighten up. When I lighten up, I see more treasure, I see the gems, my heart opens, my spirit can soar.

How have I changed from believing things happen to me to believing that things happen for me?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08112013