Who is the Boss of Me?

Who is the Boss of Me?

This is a true thing: If I rely on the outside world for my happiness, it will come from time to time, sporadically and occasionally. If I draw my happiness from inside me, it is mine to have whenever I wish.

The woo woo phrase for a lot of this stuff is the Law of Attraction, but we, that is, humans, have known about it for ages. “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7)

We find what we look for, we get what we ask for, and we lose most by not trying.

As I have grown up, one of the most challenging ideas for me, and I was challenged a lot, was the idea that I create my own happiness. How can that be? Aren’t I a victim of the whims of fate? If bad things happen, don’t I have to feel bad? Isn’t suffering our lot?

Uh, no.

It seemed like heresy to me. I mean, all the literature I’d read seemed to suggest that if bad things happened I had to feel bad, if abusers abused, I had to take on their crap and feel abused, that if I were sick, I had to be miserable.

Misery is a habit, happiness is a choice.

Part of growing up, or being evolved, or becoming enlightened, is owning that I am the boss of me. I decide how I will respond. I decide on my mood. I decide how I will see the world.

When we notice that we feel crappy; miserable, abused, freaked out, blue, and any number of other feelings, it is a way of our physical system, our body,  to tell us that we have fallen into old, bad habits. Then our job is to do what we need to do to disrupt those habits, and replace them with shiny new habits that help us stay centered.

There are a gazillion ways to disrupt that bad habit stuff.

Creative Questions are a powerful and dynamic place to start. How could I choose to be happy? Why would I feel good? What makes me choose to be positive? How have I changed from feeling abused to keeping my center?

Posture, modifying our physical system, is another dynamic way. This is also a fun way to notice how our body positions can impact our emotions, and thoughts. When we lift our bodies, we feel uplifted. How weird is that? Even little things like pulling our shoulders down and back a titch, lifting our chins a titch, lifting our gaze a titch.

If we can, getting up and moving around can disrupt the habit. Likewise, singing, or recitation, and in dire circumstances, I’ve put a rubberband on my wrist, and snapped it to upset that those bad thoughts. Making a list of things we are grateful for, or appreciate, and feeling grateful, smiling from the heart, will shift things a lot. The more we practice, the easier it gets, the smoother the path to happiness.

How have I changed from feeling all suffery and buffeted to taking ownership of my moods?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08012013