Defying the Emo Zombies

Defying the Emo Zombies

Several of you have asked how I write these contemplations. It’s simple. I shuffle the Creative Questions card deck while I think about drawing the best card for us for today. Sometimes, a card or two just seem to hop out from the deck, and sometimes I pull one out. Then I think about it a bit, then I write to you on whatever the topic has brought to mind.

Today I pulled the “Why do I care?” card. I pulled it a few days ago, too. When I pull the same card repeatedly, I know there is an importance about it, and I wonder what that is.

I know a bunch of us are caregivers. We are diligent and loving in our gift of care, and, generally speaking, are happy to be helping. I know a bunch of us volunteer our time, or expertise, to help others. I know a bunch of us who work and take care of our families.

If I am feeling depressed, or grief-stricken, or otherwise self-absorbed, volunteering and caregiving are often very useful tools to help me shift away from those heart-sucking monsters.

Choosing to care is a powerful thing. It’s one of the many ways that I choose my experiences in life.

When I am stuck in worry, or anxiety, or grief, or depression, or fear, or anger, or denial, I have let that state of mind take me over, like alien mind-control, or maybe zombies. Here, I am choosing to abdicate responsibility for my own well-being in favor of letting something else run the show. Sometimes, it has seemed like a relief to me to let worry be in charge, or anger, or whatnot, but I really want to be a grownup.

Being a grownup means that I choose to take responsibility for myself. If I am being responsible for me, I am in charge of my experience, and so I will use Creative Questions, breathing, physical postures, or whatever, to shift away from the zombie me running the same horrible tapes over and over in my head about how awful things are.

Being a grownup means that I understand that if I think things are terrible, or I think things are great, I am right. The same way we all have 168 hours in a week, we all have stuff happen, circumstances change around on us, we experience terrible loss, or horrific illness or accidents. You know, stuff.

One of the analogies I like is the glass half empty or half full. I was a half empty gal for a long time, until I decided to be happy. Then I was a half full gal. Now I rejoice in having a glass. Sometimes my glass is full of cold, crisp water, refreshing, and hydrating and wonderful. Sometimes it’s full of lime-flavored Diet Coke, and it’s delicious, but maybe not much else good. Sometimes it’s full of pee, and that’s just nasty, so I can freak out that my glass is full of pee, or I can use it to felt wool, and soften my skin. No, seriously, pee is awesome for those things.

And that’s the trick. How do I find the awesome reason in the situation? Is there a potent life lesson to be had? Is there practice on a topic like patience, or transformation that I could use some help with? Is there another use for what’s going on that will provide me with felted slippers and fantastically soft skin?

If I think it’s awful or I think it’s great, I’m right.

How have I changed from letting the emo zombies run my life to taking responsibility for my own darn self?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 08282013