Celebrating Your Awesomeness

Celebrating Your Awesomeness

One of the many ways we thrive is with attention.

Regardless of what we think about that, we all want it on some level. For some of us, that level might be pretty deep because of mislearnings as a little child telling us that being noticed is unsafe.

Some of us seem to seek out negative attention, always in the doghouse, always in some kind of trouble with someone. We feel like the only attention we get is angry or hostile or irritated.

Some of us seem to seek out huge amounts of attention, always vying for everyone’s eye, in many different ways, always trying to be the center, but never feeling it.

Even the introverts want attention.

Some of us feel quite comfortable with nice attention up to a point, and then we have to stop it. We feel like we deserve only so much celebration of ourselves, and that’s enough!

When we live in joy, everyone wants to celebrate with us.

How am I celebrated? What makes enjoy attention? Why am I receptive?

For so many of us, giving is easy. We want to give our time, our energy, our love, our labor, our money, all to help other people, but the idea of being given to is an anathema to us.

We gotta get over that. Receptivity and acceptance are concepts that we have a bias toward. We tend to think of being receptive as being weak. Tis better to give than to receive, or so the saying goes, but what does that say about our thoughts of the one we are trying to give to?

We often think of receptivity and acceptance as a passive thing, but I will tell you this, being receptive is not about lying down and just taking it. Or submitting, or enduring. Receptivity can be wonderfully dynamic, energizing, empowering. Accepting is strength.

By choosing to receive, by choosing to accept, by choosing to allow, we are taking charge. We are valuing ourselves, we are relaxing into our authentic selves who can give and receive freely and happily.

How have I changed from seeking negative attention to accepting positive attention?

When we often find ourselves in the doghouse, it’s frequently because we have mislearned that the only attention we can get is when we screw up. By choosing to release our mislearning, and replacing it with a new way of thought, we can change the kind of attention we get from yell-y to praise-y.

Choosing to let ourselves feel celebrated is liberating and joyful. Owning that we make a difference in our world is motivating. Feeling appreciated is inspiring. And just imagine what you can accomplish when you feel liberated, joyful, motivated and inspired.

How have I changed from pushing away my celebrations to reveling in them?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 08152014

Peace In, Peace Out

Peace In, Peace Out

Being a grownup is nice. I trust that I make good decisions now. My life is full of wonderful, kind people, I flow with my life most of the time. I know how to relax. I feel peaceful at my core most of the time. Life is pretty effortless and fun. Most of the time.

Why am I peaceful? What makes me feel relaxed? How am I present?

When I flow with my life, it’s easy. When I flow with my life, I am relaxed at my core. I am curious and engaged. My daily life may seem simple these days, but it is exceedingly rich, and deep, and luscious.

Part of that is because of that peaceful feeling. I am able to be much more present when I feel peaceful than when I feel taxed, or stressed, or clenched.

What I found for me was that I had to practice choosing peaceful. It was not a place I could get to inside me very easily. Not only that, but I had some wacky ideas about what peace meant.

I used to think that feeling peaceful meant wearing long robes and walking at a snail’s pace with my hands tucked into my sleeves, eyes half closed and a weird smile. Huh. I don’t know where that image came from.

Peaceful meant no excitement, no passion, no adventure. It was all tofu and herbal tea.

I am so glad I was so wrong.

How do I choose serene? What makes me calm? Why do I enjoy my passions?

Turns out, peace is at my core. I feel it, even when I am laughing my head off because you are so hilarious, because it is part of my natural life.

When I am there, my life unfolds as it does. I don’t spend time fighting it or arguing with the Universe about it. My life brings me interesting things, wonderful people, the help I need, things to feel bliss about, joyful, and curious. Oh, I do like to feel curios.

Peaceful means that I remember compassion for me, and for you. I remember that we all have our unique set of gifts, talents, and skills. I remember that everyone has had stuff happen that challenged them, and that we are all doing our best..

Peaceful means that, when I encounter my pockets of resistance in the world, I can take the time I need to integrate them and move on.

Peaceful means that, if I don’t sleep well tonight, I know that will change and I can choose to feel awake. If I have some physical discomfort, I know that experience will shift around, and I can let it go. If I have sorrow, or anger, or fear come up, I can feel them, let it go, and get on with my life.

When I relax, I get peaceful. When I relax my emotions, the sense of peaceful deepens. When I relax my thoughts, peaceful draws me in.

When I feel peaceful, you like to be around me better. I like that.

How have I changed from feeling uptight to choosing peaceful?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 06302014

Creating Opportunity

Creating Opportunity

Sometimes I crack me up. I have started today’s contemplation three times. The first time was snarky. The second time was dumb.

I’m hoping three’s the charm.

I pulled the “Why do I trust?” card this morning. How have I let go of fixing my life to allowing it to unfold?

Fixing vs. unfolding. Effortful vs. effortless. Tense vs. relaxed.

When I allow my life to unfold, I am assuming the best at the heart of it all. When I am fixing my life, I am focused on the brokenness. The situation I’m in can be the same one, the difference is in attitude, my point of view, my outlook.

When I am fixing my life, I am focused on the problem. I worry about it. I fantasize about how things will go. What if it turns out badly? What if it turns out worse than that? What if it’s so awful I could die? What if other bad things happen when I’m trying to fix this bad thing? What if I can’t do this? What if it all blows up in my face?

When I allow my life to unfold, I trust that I will find my way through whatever happens, and come out richer on the other side. I assume that. I expect that. I haven’t been disappointed.

It’s subject to my interpretation.

I would rather be relaxed and happy, thank you very much. So I choose relaxed. I choose to trust. I choose to feel safe. I choose to feel protected.

When I first started on this path, I thought that choosing to feel safe was dumb. Life is full of danger, am I right? Bad guys are around every corner. When I had that attitude, I ran into them often. Since I decided that I was safe, something happened and I mostly don’t. I mean, most people are good, am I right? Weird.

My attitude creates my world.

When I expect to find the bad, I find bad. I know the outcome will suck.

When I expect to find the good, I find good. I know the outcome will please me.

Stuff is always going to happen. Stuff that happens is neutral. I choose which way I will judge it. I choose to judge it as a good thing, or a bad thing. When I choose to find the good, I feel powerful. I feel competent, I feel uplifted and like I am contributing something to the greater good. When I choose to find the bad, I feel doomed, I feel depressed, I feel drained, and like the world is depleting me.

Next time something happens, you can play the game. Put on your creative genius hat, and ask yourself, “How is this a bad thing?” Come up with one or two answers. Notice how your body feels.

Now ask yourself, “How is this a good thing?” Come up with one or two answers, and notice how your body feels. If this seems challenging to you, keep at it. Believe me, it’s worth it.

How have I changed from being pissed off by the cloud to relishing the silver lining?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10102013

Flexing

Flexing

Contract. Expand. Closed. Open. Downward. Upward. Dark. Light. Frustrated. Satisfied.

Wait, that last pair doesn’t quite fit, as anyone who has play the Sesame Street game can tell you.

Everything ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes. And, while a pair like frustration and satisfaction can seem like they fit, they are quite the different beast.

I can’t inhale until I’ve exhaled. I can’t hold my mug of delicious, steaming coffee until I close my fingers around the handle. I can’t walk or run or practice kung fu unless my muscles contract and expand. Natural.

Frustration and satisfaction are choices, feelings. And feelings we can change in an instant by changing our thoughts.

In the broadest sense, frustration comes from saying, “N0!” to life and satisfaction comes from saying, “Yes.”

Sometimes, we decide that we won’t feel satisfied until we finish something. The whole time we are working on our project, we push away satisfaction, and in its place we put frustration. Maybe we think it’s taking too long, or it’s too hard, or we aren’t getting enough help, or too much help. Something seems to always get in the way.

When we go to frustrated, we are informing ourselves that our expectations are not aligned with our reality. That’s wacky because we do a lot to create our reality. So what’s going on?

Well, I am back to saying, “no” to my life, resisting it as it unfolds, refusing the gifts, the lessons, the hidden delights from a place of fear, or anger or stubbornness. It never ends well.

When I refuse life, I set myself up to feel kind of crazy, or overwhelmed, or even like I’m under attack.  When I refuse life, I turn my back on support, and love, and kindnesses from unexpected sources. I choose morose, I choose gloomy, I choose negativity, and I spread it around like butter on toast until I’ve coated everything in my emotional greasiness.

When I open to life, when I allow my life to unfold, when I say “yes,” I not only look for the good in whatever is happening, but I find it. It means that I can find satisfaction in the moment, I don’t have to wait for a special occasion.

When I allow my life to unfold, I can enjoy the moment for what it is. Enjoyment isn’t always about having fun. Sometimes, enjoyment is very close to satisfaction. When I have gone through periods of intense grief, when it’s clean emotion, without emotional baggage, I find it very satisfying, even enjoyable. I know, we do have a taboo about that. Grief isn’t supposed to be satisfying, but there you go. Allowing life to flow through.

When I choose to allow life, I choose to be present, living in the moment, not for the moment. When I choose to allow life, I am on the lookout for greatness, including within me. When I choose to allow life, I enjoy more responsibility. Enjoy. More. Responsibility. I take better care of me. I make a loving peaceful space for you.

Satisfaction is a choice I want to make over and over and over.

How have I changed from frustration and rage to peaceful satisfaction?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10062013

Creating Playtime

Creating Playtime

I love to play. I love to play pretend. I love to play puzzle games. I love to make up stories, I love to play birdie with my cats and tickle toe with my snails. I love to run about, and goof around on swings and slides.

Play.

Carefree enjoyment. Lighthearted fun. Joyful activities.

My definition of play has changed a lot as I have become a grownup. Now I can find ways to play almost everywhere; from elevators to just driving my car, cleaning the house, writing to you. There is so much fun to be had, all I have to do is grab it.

My play this morning, for example, was to have easy fun at the DMV getting my license renewed, with fast service, and charming helpers. Never mind the awful picture, at least I’m smiling in it.

Then, when my car wouldn’t start in the parking lot, I thought that I could get pissed, sitting in the rain, or play. So I played. I made up stories about all the people in the parking lot, had fun with the AAA guy who had fun, too, and even said so, and shook my hand. Nice. Why do I choose to be happy?

The car had to be towed. What should show up, early, to tow me but the brightest pink tow truck you can imagine. The fellow was a little grumpy, but it fell away when I told him how much fun I was having watching him put my car on the flat bed. What makes me enjoy myself?

My day of running a few quick errands turned into walking only two, and it reminded me how much I love my neighborhood. It smells great. Wonderful autumn smells that shifted from flowery to spicy to lovely damp earth with raindrops the color of diamonds sparkling on the grass.

Life gave me the gift of slowing everything down, and because I’m paying attention these days, I got to enjoy the heck out of it.

Somehow, it seemed like everyone I encountered was cheery. Were they cheery to start with? I hope so, but it’s easy to respond with good cheer when you are greeted with good cheer.

How have I changed from being a negative pain in the patooty to enjoying whatever I can find to enjoy?

When we look at our world as a giant playground, stuff gets easier. We lighten up, get a bounce in our step, and see the good. We don’t let tension take hold of our spirits, and so we can let our spirits soar for the simplest reasons.

Sometimes we are confronted with great grief, or fearsome events, or physical traumas. These are the big lessons. If we allow our life to unfold as it unfolds, allowing our emotions to flow, and consider whether what we are feeling supports us or beats us down, we are taking responsibility for ourselves. When we choose to respond with clean emotions, free from blame or shame, free from guilt or anger, we create a space of peace. Everything moves through, until we latch on and worry it. It’s why we practice letting our thoughts flow during activities like meditation, pulling ourselves back from thinking a thought.

When our thoughts flow, we only have emotions, not the complicated mess our feelings can become. This practice helps us respond to the big stuff when it shows up.

How have I changed from resenting the events of my life to considering how I might play?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10052013

Megabattle to the Death: Me vs Life -- Cancelled

Megabattle to the Death: Me vs Life -- Cancelled

Here is a simple truth. In fact, since it is true for everyone, it’s actually a Universal Truth with a capital T.. Life is easier, better, and more fun when we stop fighting it.

At the very bottom of it all, it’s all just energy. It’s not good and bad energy, just energy. We are just energy. Subatomic particles zazzing around in space, and somehow we are one of a gazillion results of that zazzing.

Reality is so loosey goosey.

Thoughts create things.

You have a lot more control over what you think than you think you do.

What?

This gets really clear when we are meditating. Thoughts flow through our conscious mind like clouds, lahdee lahdee lah. Every so often, one of those clouds is sticky, and we start to think on that thought. And we follow it down it’s particular path, with more energy, and judge it as good or bad based on our beliefs.

Thoughts become things.

Life is better when we allow it to unfold.

In my qigong practice, I let things flow. Sometimes I have a thought about the flow, sometimes I don’t. When “I” get out of the way, I have a wonderful time. Allowing my qi flow to flow, allowing my thoughts to flow. Allowing my life to flow.

I used to assume that life was somehow out to get me, to make my life hard. It was.

Now I assume that life is out to benefit me, to make my life better. It is.

To paraphrase Henry Ford, If you think life’s great or you think life sucks, you’re right.

When I trust that life is benevolent, and that it is affording me opportunities to grow and evolve, everything that happens in my awareness is an opportunity for my growth. If I ignore the lesson, it will come back bigger and more noticeably until it has to grab me by the neck and throw me to the ground. (I wonder why that seems to be the image I get re life giving me lessons I refuse to learn.)

When I allow my life to unfold, to flow, life gets easier, it gets kind of fascinating. So many of us take stuff personally in a negative way. When we flow with our life, we can take everything personally in a really positive way. What is the gift? Where is the lesson? Why do I choose to see the opportunity?

I want to be a grown up, with my demons faced, to the best of my ability, living in line with my gifts and talents, responsible for me and to you.

I want to live my natural life of happiness and joy and satisfaction and peace most of the time.

I want to create space all around me that is peaceful and safe so that have a place to come that feels great, and encourages your grown up self to emerge.

That’s nice.

How have I changed from fearing and hating my life to trusting my life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10042013