A White Pebble Day

A White Pebble Day

Many years ago, I heard about a daily practice that sounding so interesting to me. The head of the house would set up a large, narrow-mouthed vase, with two containers of pebbles, one black and one white. Each day, the family would decide if it had been a good, white pebble day or a bad, black pebble day and would drop that pebble into the vase. At the end of the year, they would dump out the pebbles, sort ‘em and see if they’d had a good or bad year.

Concrete. Clear. Black and White. Good or Bad.

I was sure that my jar would be full of black pebbles. And, while I didn’t ever do the practice, I’ve thought about it a lot. I found myself wondering what made a day good or bad.

I started to think about it, rather than just assuming I’d had a bad day. I started to consider my day specifically.

I started to think that it was easy to have a black pebble day, I started to think that it took a little ingenuity to have bad stuff happen, and find a way to turn that into a white pebble day.I started to think that it would be a matter of honor to have more white pebbles. What did I need to do to get ‘em?

Did being in a bad mood mean a bad day? What had to happen for a day to be good? Could a good day be one where nothing bad happened? Could a day be good even if I felt sick, or sad, or scared, or mad? Could a day with a flat tire be a good day if I got help?

Wanting that imaginary white pebble made me start looking for silver linings in my cloudy days. I started looking for ways to interpret my stuff as a plus instead of a minus.

I started to notice that the news I watched every day was geared to upsetting me; neighborhood fires, shootings, attempted abductions. This wasn’t information that was useful, this wasn’t current events, this was catastrophizing to make me feel bad so I would go shopping to make myself feel good. The national news was the same thing. There might have been one thing that was actually current events, mostly it was the other stuff, the commercial stuff.

I turned off the news. I found out about the big stuff soon enough, and the other stuff, well, I heard about it when my friend’s house burned down, and I could help her.

More white pebbles.

I found myself thinking about my friend whose house burned down. That was a bad day. And she was so happy and grateful for her life, her pets who got out safely, the rescue of some of her stuff. She was so happy and grateful for the friends who put them up, for the friends who gave them clothes, and bedding and kitchen stuff, who helped them find a new place.

Happy and grateful even though her home burned down. White pebble day.

Finding the good in a day. Finding the lesson, finding the benefit, finding the joy. Practicing each day to look for the reasons to choose the white pebble until it is such a habit that your jar is mostly full of those lovely white pebbles.

How have I changed from seeing the worst, to choosing to have a white pebble day?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 02172013