That Little Kick

That Little Kick

Isn’t it funny how scary stuff can get? We look at it and think, “Why can’t I just finish that?” (be sure to collect your points for noticing the bad creative question.)

Unfinished letters, household projects, tasks at work, laundry left in the machine, undone dishes, put off taxes or oil changes or medical appointments; each of us has stuff we procrastinate. Some of us are better at it than others.

Procrastination is just a fancy way of saying bad habit. But it has a little kick that makes us feel something, and that something can be addictive.

Procrastinating has an element of danger in it. It may be that little bit of danger when we get in trouble for not taking out the trash, or it can be a bigger element of danger when we ignore our traffic tickets and the consequence could be jail time. And it often has a dash of guilt, too. It’s starting to sound like a drug. Hmm.

Habits are amazing chunks of behavior. Every living thing seems to have them. Some of them are so supportive to our well being, and some very much are not. Habits do not like to be broken, which is why they are habits.

When we want to change a behavior, like procrastination, we need to make a plan for it. I sense some resistance, so let me say why.

When we decide to stop a behavior that no longer serves us, the part of us it used to serve is going to be pissed. It will balk at having it’s habit disrupted, even if it is causing the rest of ourself pain. When we go cold turkey, the part of us that is being denied will do everything in its power to dominate our thoughts until we relent.

Taking the time to plan our disengagement makes it easier. It is easier to replace a behavior with a new behavior than to just stop. I like things to be easy, so I’m all for the replacements.

With procrastinating, there is a little thought, something like, “I’ll just do that later,” that seems to be the starting point. It actually has a starting point earlier than that; a certain feeling, a fleeting thought. The earlier you can notice it, and practice your new habit, the easier the change will be.

For me, my procrastination at home often starts with the decision to go upstairs. If I can catch that, and decide to go to the kitchen instead, I short-circuit the whole process, and can get my stuff done.

By identifying, and then making the commitment to change, our unsupportive habits, we are choosing our best life. By being aware of when our unsupportive habits kick in, and then redirecting our attention, we are choosing our best life. By acknowledging that slipping up means we are making progress, and celebrating our re-commitment, we are choosing our best life. Patience and gentleness will be more effective in general than cracking the whip.

How have I changed from being run by my habits to being the one in charge?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 020513