Better, Nicer, Funner, Winner!

Better, Nicer, Funner, Winner!

I love it when I draw a card that gets folks all riled up! This is one of those.

“Why am I a winner?”

It used to rile me up, too. It made me feel like I felt around our abusive Physical Education teacher. Unless you were him, you sucked and he wanted to make sure you knew it. As a sickly kid with asthma, I kind of super-sucked. (Imagine someone making the “L” fingers for “loser” gesture on their forehead here.)

I pictured this long line of kids, with one happy one at the front, and the rest of us, well, not so happy.

I felt like there wasn’t anything at which I could not fail. So, I had a knee-jerk reaction to the word “winner.” It wasn’t nice, and it didn’t make me feel good, and did nothing for you. In fact, it made it very difficult for me to enjoy your successes with you, which made me a crappy friend. I’d feel envy of your good stuff, jealous of my good stuff, like I had to hold it tight, and, as we know, tight isn’t very relaxed, comfy, or fun.

Over the course of time, I found a new way to think about winning. “She has a winning smile.” That’s nice, I like smiles. “He has such a winning way about him.” That’s nice, too. Winning. Winsome; full of winningness. Why do I have winning ways?

So I started to see that line as running shoulder to shoulder instead of front to back. That way, we are all number 1. How do I feel when I feel like I’m number 1?

I mean, the bottom line is that it’s my life. Feeling like a loser doesn’t help me, it doesn’t motivate or inspire me, it makes me feel like giving up. Your reaction might be different, it might spur you on to greater things, but me, I just wanna hole up and watch stupid TV.

When I see us all as winners, at so many different things, I feel encouraged. I feel strong, and happy, and kind of excited at the thoughts I have about what we can accomplish together. You know how I feel about Creative Questions, how they have changed my life in so many ways, and continue to change it daily. Well, adding Creative Questions to all the stuff you’ve found that works and I say, “Holy Moly! We are WINNERS!” Let’s go teach folks about how to do this living stuff better, nicer, funner!

When I feel like a winner, I want to do my best. If I can’t possibly win, why bother. (Why bother? is an awesomely bad creative question, isn’t it!) Why do I take the time?

When I feel like I’m number 1 in my life, I want to be a good example, I want to be seen as leading a life that looks attractive and delightful. Why am I so successful?

Choosing to feel like winner supports us all.

How have I changed from believing there can be only one, to knowing we can win better together?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 02262013

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