Ass/U/Me

Ass/U/Me

We all make a ton of assumptions everyday. We make assumptions about ourselves, about how our day will unfold. We make assumptions about how our loved ones are, what they mean, what they think, and feel. We make assumptions about total strangers we encounter. We make assumptions about total strangers on the other side of the world.

Seems like we have to.

If we didn’t make assumptions, if we looked at everything with fresh eyes, evaluating anew at every moment, we wouldn’t ever make it out of bed in the morning. We would be so busy with current stuff that we would just have to stop. Our little nervous systems would be overwhelmed with data, and we would go into shut down.

And.

If we make bad assumptions, we are going to get bad results. If I assume you are a jerk, I start looking for proof that I’m right. And, even if it’s all just me, I find that proof. Oy. If I assume that everyone is out to get me, I get got. Even if it’s just my interpretation.

Assumption is Trust’s cousin, the black sheep of the family. Assumption seems like Trust. There is a strong family resemblance, but they only look alike.

Trust flows from our perfect self, our natural life, like peace, creativity, and joy. It is putting ourselves into the natural rhythm of life, knowing that, however it unfolds, we are ok at our core.

Trust allows, Assumption pigeon-holes. Trust is open, Assumption is closed. Trust is effortless, Assumption takes some work.

Judgment is also in this family, and, like Assumption, can be a good one, or a bad one, depending on how we use it.

It’s worth our while to notice our assumptions and recognize our judgments, and relax into trust, when we can.

By listening to when we use words like “always” and “never” we can find assumptions. By listening to when we use words like “everyone” and “no one” we can find assumptions. Can’t and shouldn’t are also words to listen for, when we are making assumptions about our abilities.

When we see a stranger and have a strong feeling, we’ve hit an assumption. When we brace ourselves for a fight before we get there, we’ve made an assumption.

As we notice our negative assumptions, we can use our judgment to discern how we can make them positive. We can move into the flow of trust that things go our way.

By letting go in this way, we free up a lot of energy; energy we can use to look for the gift in the situation, to look for the good in the person, to look for the value in ourselves.

How have I changed from assuming the worst to trusting the unfolding of life?