Take It, or Not

Take It, or Not

Here’s some stuff that I think: I think that, in this moment, I am perfect. So is my life, in this moment. I think that I have a breathtaking potential, and am capable of great change and great things. I think that I experience moments of enlightenment, it’s inside me, not outside, to be uncovered, not attained. I think that I can live my natural life of joy, abundance, clarity, creativity, love, ease, and that I must practice every day until it is automatic, like driving a car, or dancing the tango.

Believing that I am perfect in this moment means that I can love myself unconditionally. It doesn’t mean that I don’t commit to change. It does mean that I am not fixing me, it means that I am bringing out my best through fun, daily practices like writing to you, and my qigong, using Creative Questions, reading my symptoms, and so on.

Believing that my life is perfect in this moment means that everything that happens; the things I do, the things you do to, with, or for me, the random stuff that happens; is a gift. It may be a gift of pleasure, it may be a gift of learning. Sometimes it is an opportunity to practice patience, or peace, or grieving cleanly. Often, the worse it is, the better the lesson. (I know, but that’s how it goes.)

Having the thought of my wonderful, natural life in the back of my head, makes me notice when I feel it. I notice when things are easy. I notice when I am joyful. I notice when I am peaceful, or feel abundance, or clear, and so forth. The more I notice, the more I notice.

Having the thought of my wonderful, natural life in the back of my head makes me more aware of when I am pushing away from that, trying to go upstream rather than with the flow of my life. It helps me remember when I feel bad to identify the habit and step out of it. I don’t mean avoiding emotions like sadness or anger. We feel them, then they pass, and we go on to the next thing.  I mean the sticky, dirty feelings that creep through your insides and make you feel so awful, like you’re bad, or your life sucks, or no one loves you.

One piece that I endeavor to remember is that when I feel like I need to exert control over my life, I don’t. When it feels out of control, it’s usually because I’m trying to control stuff. And what I need to do is let go. It’s shifting the focus from the outside to my insides. I need to get present, I need to do something I can do, not fret about something I can’t.

When I surrender, I stop controlling and start trusting. I move back into the flow. It gets easy again. Letting go is, as the saying goes, what to do when you are at the end of your rope. Sometimes that mean asking for help.  My insoluble situation may be your easy fix.

When I surrender, I stop identifying myself as my problems. That’s a doozy, by the way. I used to think of myself as the problem, that I was a mess, damaged goods, that sort of thing. Now I get that a problem is a situation, not me. My personality isn’t me. My thoughts aren’t me.

I am that who sees me ask the question, “Who am I?” I am that who notices. That deep, amazing self under all the mind chatter, all the feelings, all the sensations, connected to everything, dynamic energy.

And that is you.

How have I changed from believing the surface stuff to seeing beyond it to freedom?