Doubt, Not Truth

I wasn’t always the happy-go-lucky, goofy guru-philosopher you read every day; oh, no! In point of fact, I’m not always even now, but in the olden days, I had to learn how to be positive.

One of the games I would play, especially on days that were kind of rough, was the God’s Movie game. I would imagine walking down the street, and seeing from a bird’s eye view, God preventing all sorts of horrible things from happening to me; cars running me down, muggings, stray bullets, vicious dogs, pianos falling from the sky, and me, as the character in the movie, grumbling about my crappy day, oblivious to all the protection I was getting.

I love that game. I still play it on bad days. Why do I choose to play?

Some people are born positive and have it beaten out of them, some people are born melancholy, we all are as we are, but we can choose to think wholesome thoughts. We can choose to have tiny goals, and little goals, and big goals to give shape to our days and weeks and years. We can choose to be happy.

Why do I choose to be happy?

I also expect that wonderful things happen in my life. They happen for me, and they happen for you, the people I love. Imagining my friends telling me wonderful news is so fun, feeling how happy I am when I hear your good news is so nice, and it helps me feel positive on days that I might be finding challenging. It’s a nice, sneaky way to cheer myself up, and I have to admit, I find it more fun than prayer, although, depending on the circs, I do that, too.

How have I changed from envying to being so happy for you?

The more I expect things to go my way, the better they go. The more I expect wonderful things, the easier they happen. The more I look for delights in my daily life, the more I find. How weird is that.

I’m not lucky. I am attractive of good things. Luck carries with it an implication that whatever has happened isn’t really deserved. It’s kind of like that definition of grace that makes me crazy; God’s kindness to us, though we don’t deserve it.

We each deserve a lovely, happy, natural life. We deserve to strive to make our lives good. We deserve to find happiness and the root of happiness. We deserve to move from a place of mindless habitual activities filling our days, to days filled with little accomplishments and medium accomplishments, and from time to time, great, glorious, dazzlingly magnificent accomplishments.

To get that life, we have to choose it. We have to decide we will do what we need to do to make that happen. For a long time the Creative Question I asked was something like, “How could I deserve a nice life?” I wasn’t sure for a long time, but it was only doubt, not truth.

How have I changed from feeling doomed to expecting miracles?