Perfectly Impossible

Perfectly Impossible

I am often asked how I can write to you every day. Several things come into play. I love to write, I love talking about Creative Questions and self-evolution, I love you, and you let me know that these contemplations are helpful. There is one more thing, and I think it’s the most important part.

I don’t edit.

In the olden days I was such a perfectionist. I had the idea that perfectionism was the ideal, and that if I could get there, I could be acceptable to you, and, conversely, if I couldn’t get there, I was despicable to me.

Perfectionism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. There is a huge difference between doing the very best we can, and trying to be perfect.

For many of us, the idea that we need to be perfect, or that we need to produce perfect work, can stop us dead in our tracks. We end up feeling like, since we can’t do it perfectly, we may as well not even try.

As perfectionists, we can make things extra hard for people doing things for us. We often don’t know what the standard is we want them to reach, and so we give instructions like, “I’ll know it when I see it.” That’s unfair both to the person doing the work, and to ourselves.

As perfectionists, we can make things extra hard for ourselves. How many hours did I spend on cleaning the floor with a toothbrush, or editing a piece until there was no heart left to it.

But one of the issues we have with trying to be perfect is that we don’t quite know what it means to be perfect, and we have the vague idea that we’ll know somehow, when we see it. Ahahahah! The joke’s on us!

Perfectionism is a tricksy one because it makes us think that it’s all about the product, and that if we make the perfect product, we will finally feel good about ourselves.

Now, I am sure that there are things we could do “perfectly.” We could also do them “right” and we could do them “well enough.” Each of those words has a different punch from perfect. Somehow, to the perfectionist they aren’t as good. And I certainly want the surgeon and the auto mechanic and tax accountant to do their jobs correctly. But I would really rather they not be perfectionists.

How is good enough, good enough? How do I know I am good enough? Why do I deserve to feel good about myself and my work?

By changing our focus from some notion about the product;  being perfect, or doing it perfectly; to the quality of our effort, doing our best, we can relax back into our natural lives. We can use that freed up energy to get clear about what we want, both from ourselves, and from others. We become better task-givers, and we get happier, and those around us get happier, too, because the expectations are clear, and reachable.

Now I’m going to clean my floors without that dang toothbrush!

How have I changed from trying to be perfect to being my own, amazing self?