How May I Help You?

How May You Help Me?

Support. We give it, we get it. We need it, we have a lot of feelings about it.

Being a people is so interesting. We have so much stuff about stuff. We can clear a lot of it out by doing our work, but many of us choose not to, and then wonder why our lives are difficult and sucky.

We have patterns and habits and ideas that we established as tiny children, and many of them are based on misinterpretations of things.

As we grow, things happen to us, some are wonderful and some may be such horrifying trauma that we push it down into our emotional basements, tape it closed and lock the door. Only problem is that it’s still in there, and it’s still influencing us; our thoughts, our feelings, our behavior. It’s only when we decide to clean out those old, vile traumas, to work through those experiences, that we can start to actually be free.

There are so many ways to do that. It may take some seeking, but some style of healing therapy will help. And I’ve never met anyone who was able to accomplish that kind of deep-psyche housecleaning alone.

Support.

Some of us are really good at asking for help, and then accepting it. And then appreciating it, and showing our gratitude. That’s nice for everyone.

If we feel like we aren’t getting the support we need, several different things can be going on.

Some of us ask for help a lot, but in such a way that we never get it. We feel like we are doing it all alone and no matter what we do, no one pitches in. When we feel like things are so off-kilter, we’ve got an unconscious resistance thing going. Often we feel like we don’t deserve to be supported, we don’t deserve help, we have to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps. We feel frustrated.

Why do I deserve help? Why can I accept help? Why do I have all the help I need?

Some of us feel like we just can’t ask for help, that we have to do it all. We feel like we have to prove that we are tough and independent. We may have some trouble making commitments to others, and even to ourselves. We often feel isolated and cut off, but also push others away. We feel defensive and under that, scared.

Why am I safe to receive assistance? Why would I choose to connect?

By noticing our thoughts around receiving support, we can turn them around into good Creative Questions. When we let others help us, our lives get easier, and more fun. We have more time to do the things that bring us joy, more time to help and support each other, which gives our loved ones more joy, more time, and they in turn support their loved ones, and, lo, the world is a better place.

How have I changed from denying your help to accepting assistance with joy and grace?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 02142013