Ebbs and Flows

Ebbs and Flows

How are you today? It’s just us, so I mean, really, how are you today?

We all have ebbs and flows, times when we feel wonderful, times when we feel less wonderful. We wake up on the wrong side of the bed, we feel pooped even after a good sleep, we can’t think, we seem to screw up everything.

And then, we wake up on the right side of the bed, we are full of energy, we look gorgeous, we are brilliant, and everything goes our way.

When we are at low ebb, we often feel like that’s how we usually feel. Or we fight it and feel like we’ve done something wrong.

We get the idea that we should always feel this way or that way.

Always is a really long time. We’d get kinda bored.

Meanwhile, it’s easy to like ourselves when we are on that upswing, when we are lovely and clever, vital and jolly.

Sometimes, it’s not so easy when we are on the downside. And, just like anybody, that’s kind of when we need it the most.

Why do I like me? How do I show me compassion? What makes me be kind to myself?

How do you feel when you ask yourself those questions? Do you fill up with the milk of human kindness, or do you feel a little resistance? Do you feel gentle towards yourself, or do you feel annoyed?

It tends to be kind of easy to just say to ourselves something like, “Ugh, I suck.” when we’re in that place. It’s a comfortable old habit to go to that I-don’t-like-me place, but that doesn’t help anyone.

On those low ebbs, I like to think of the me that is being pokey and irritating the inside me, as an opportunity to practice compassion. If I can be kind to me then, I can manage a lot more compassion out in the world. After all, you are hardly ever as irritating to me as I am. Of course, one the the features of that low ebb is that it is challenging sometimes to remember to practice.

So I find myself going back several times a day to the three basic rules of my qigong practice, namely; don’t worry, don’t intellectualize, enjoy; and the three sub-rules; relax, relax, relax.

Even at low ebb, if I can remember to relax, things get better. And then I can ask, Why do I feel compassion? and find me in the answer somewhere. I can be patient with my dim-bulbitude, I can be sweet when I look in the mirror and smile at me. I can go to bed a bit earlier, and shift my exercise from a vigorous style to something a little gentler. I can remind myself that everything changes, and this time will move through.

And then it does, and I am bright and shiny again, with my new habits of self-kindness and compassion a little more firmly entrenched, and full of juice to give you some help where you need it.

How have I changed from being disgusted by my low ebb to treating me with the kindness I deserve?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 06152013