How to Find Admiration

How to Find Admiration

It always surprises me a bit at how much we pay attention to each other, and how we so often have no clue of being seen.

Your children and other family members, your co-workers, your neighbors, the clerks where you shop, wherever we go, people are paying attention to us. There isn’t anything weird or creepy about it; you pay attention, too.

When I felt crappy all the time, I would be out in the world as one of those people you see in the cafe, and tsk tsk about. I was snarky. I was rude. I could be loud and obnoxious. I thought at the time that being a noisy jerk was the only way I could get any help or attention, even if it was just negative attention. I was so wrong.

When I felt crappy all the time, I would be out in the world with a grimacy bitch face, moping down the street. I would be muttering nasty comments about the people I encountered. I felt invisible, and I felt bad, and kind of wanted you to feel bad, too. Sorry about that.

So, as I grew up, I learned that everyone makes mistakes, and approaching the customer service person as someone who wants to help, rather than as an adversary or perpetrator. Since I started being pleasant and respectful, the quality of service I get has improved ten-fold. Seriously.

As I grew up, I learned that walking down the street with my head up and a smile on my face often ended up actually cheering me up as people would respond to me with their own smile. I love smile chains.

As I grew up, I realized that the more positive I put out, the more I got back. When I felt crappy all the time, I was so full of negative that I had no room inside for self-respect, or self-love, and sadly, I didn’t have much for you, either.

As I grew up, I let go of my bitter and cynical self, and found a world full of kind people who do sweet things for not only their loved ones, but total strangers, sometimes thousands of miles away.

The more I changed my attitude, the nicer my life got, the more I found opportunities to do things I felt good about. I started having a lot more fun. I had more energy to use for fun stuff. Being

negative sucks up energy like an untuned Hummer sucks gas.

The more I changed my attitude, the more I liked being around me. I liked what I did more. I liked how I felt a lot more, and I started to like the way I handled things. I liked the way I treated people and I started to notice that I didn’t get to the end of the day feeling ashamed of myself. When I was so miserable I really wanted to feel admired. Now I find I feel like that a lot, and it’s effortless, and comfortable. I used to think feeling admired would make me feel okay. Turns out, feeling okay let’s me feel admired. Weird.

When we choose to change our attitude from dark to light, from crappy to happy, from down to up, lots of amazing things happen. We are softer, and stronger. We are quicker, but feel like we go more slowing. Life stops racing by, and a year takes a year to pass. Goofy little things can fill our hearts with joy, and it happens a lot. The things we long for in our misery come naturally and effortlessly, and cease to be so dag-blamed important. We live our own life moment by moment with satisfaction and contentment.

How have I changed from longing for to enjoy a high quality of life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 06292013