The Urge of Spirit

The Urge of Spirit

What does being spiritual mean to you? Going to church or temple on major holidays? Daily worship and prayer? Self-flagellation? No, seriously, I really thought that was a good idea once upon a time, that I could beat spirituality into me, and beat out the guilt and pain. Didn’t work.

What if being spiritual is simply the urge of spirit to know itself? Suppose spirit just wants to discover its purpose, its meaning, maybe its origins and place. Some of us can do that through religion. Some of us don’t find that a supportive venue, and look for other ways.

Why am I spiritual? What makes me curious? How do I know myself?

I will tell you something true. In your life there is no one more fundamentally interesting than you.

Your life is full of interesting, curious, weird, terrible, wonderful amazing events and each one of those things has had an effect on you, from the time you were in your warm and cozy womb. Remembering, on the one hand, is not something we do easily, especially about our lives, which I think is just bizarre. I mean, if I can’t remember what I’ve lived through, well, I digress.

Remembering is a skill we can cultivate. You know that old saw about those who don’t learn from the past being condemned to repeat it? That’s about us. If I grew up in an abusive household, and do nothing to change that, my children will be abused, too, by their parent, who is me. I don’t know about you, but I would really rather not facilitate child abuse. If we don’t like the legacy we’ve inherited, we will have to change it. And when we do that, we change the world.

Learning about ourselves is, strangely, another one of the ways we change the world. As I come to recognize my dark behavior, see its origins, and modify  my behavior and beliefs and thoughts, I become more compassionate about your dark behavior. I become supportive of your growth rather than engaging with you in being jerks.

I start finding my own patterns; they show up over and over in my life under different circumstances. And when I notice one,  I may feel kind of creeped out and maybe a little ashamed, and then I own it, and resolve it, and that pattern is done. That means I no longer interact with you in a way that can often be really uncomfortable for both of us. That means that you have less strife in your life, and you can step forward in your own growth. Neat.

It means I have found a bit more of who I am; my spirit has grown.

How does my spirit rejoice? What makes my heart soar? Where do I find my bliss?

There are more elements to our spiritual growth. Sitting quietly and letting our thoughts flow is one, doing things that are joyful for us is another. I love to sing, that’s a place where my joy flows. I love to create art, to practice qigong, sometimes I even experience joy shoveling snow, cleaning the house, taking out the trash. Weird, but I’ll take it.

As I clear out my emo crap, I have more room for nice stuff. I know I say that a lot, but it’s really nice to have room for nice stuff inside. I find that I can slow down, so I don’t feel like time is flying by, but a month takes a month. Conversely, slowing down inside can make the week that’s dragging by move at a more normal pace.

And the more I clear out my emo stuff, the more my spirit comes to know itself, the more juice I have for you, for my family, for my communities. I find that exercising my generosity is another way I experience joy.

How have I changed from ignoring my spirit to experiencing spirit with joy?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02092014