Sunday, February 02, 2014

It’s Just Not True

It’s Just Not True

We all go through rough patches. If we are lucky, they are short. Sometimes that patch can last for years. Some people call it the human condition. I think It’s more like a starting point to becoming our own, glorious selves.

Why do I choose to change? What makes me evolve? How do I know what to do?

We all have stuff. If we are lucky, we can muster our resources, and deal with it. Sometimes we think we don’t have resources, and are just kind of doomed. I think our stuff points us in our own particular direction.

What makes me wise? How do I know I have smarts? How do I know what to do?

We all have a past. If we are lucky, it is just our past, and not informing our present, distorting our perceptions, twisting our relationships. Some of us think that ignoring and forgetting makes that damage go away. That works as well with the clunk under the hood. Next thing you know, you have some sort of huge breakdown on the side of the highway. Ugh.

Why do I choose to integrate my past?

You know what I think about luck. You know I believe we create an environment in which luck, if you will, can flourish. That’s part of what becoming a grownup, an enlightened being, is all about.

We each have a topic particular to us. This is our very first mislearning. This mislearning colors every breath we take. Each thought is tinged by it. And so, all our emotions, feelings, and behavior likewise are touched. We call it “personal doubt.”

For some of us, it’s feeling wrong, or feeling like we always hurt people. Some of us feel like we aren’t good enough no matter what, or that we are damaged goods, beyond redemption. Maybe it is that things never go our way, or that we are undeserving, or have a mysterious fatal flaw. There are lots of variations.

And it’s lies, all lies.

We work our butts off, either to prove that our personal doubt is true, and we can’t do anything right, or we do hurt people, or we are garbage, or that it’s false, and we bust our humps over-achieving, but through it all we hang onto it’s premise as our own defining characteristic. And, curiously, as we clean up our stuff, this particular one will show up more and more vividly.

Challenging, yes, but on the other hand, if you are having your personal doubt come up a lot a lot, it lets you know how well you are doing at becoming a grown up. Good for you! Ow! Stop hitting me! I know it’s uncomfortable, but it’s a good thing.

When we remember that our personal doubt is a mislearning, we can move past it. Because it touches everything, we have to address it at a lot of different points. It’s still a mislearning, and under that mislearning, I am my perfect self, divine and infinite.

How have I changed from leading my life from my personal doubt to believing I am a divine and perfect being?

(c) 2014 Pam Guthrie all rights reserved 02022014

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