Esteem Cleaning

Self-loathing. Do you know anyone who hates themselves? How heartbreaking to hate ourselves, to constantly find fault, to say horrible things to ourselves, to feel like a burden to others, to even wish we were dead, when we are divine and infinite beings of brilliance and light.

How wonderful that so often it is based on mislearning and we can shift it around, because here I am, your slightly dinged, relatively shining example of someone who did just that. And now I have the power of Creative Questions. I can address that horrible characteristic at the source: My mind.

Why could I be okay? How am I acceptable? Why would I like me?

I will tell you truly, I tried affirmations for years, and frankly, they made me feel worse. I was not better and better every day, in every way. When I didn’t feel better, I felt like even more of a failure as a person.

Why can I cope? How do I find my resources? Why could it all be just so easy?

Turns out affirmations work best if you are doing pretty well, but kind of suck when you are trying to make a big change, or are already feeling blue. I mean, why would I want to be lying to me? I was living a very nasty life, and telling myself I was happy and healthy when I wasn’t was like an authority figure nagging at me to shape up, and what the hell’s the matter with you anyway. It made me so sad.

The difference between Creative Questions and affirmations is in how our brains process language. When we make a statement, like an affirmation, our brain takes it and stops, unless it starts to ask questions about the statement. The statement drops like a stone in sand, it can raise a little dust, but not much happens.

When we ask a Creative Question, it goes into our minds and kicks it into high gear. Our unconscious minds LOVE a good question formulated like a Creative Question, like dropping a stone in water, all those ripples start to happen. It starts looking for good answers. To supercharge a Creative Question you are working on, add “else” into the mix.

Why else am I good enough? What else makes me valuable? How else do I know I am a gift?

When we have people telling us for a long time that we suck, we buy it, then we start to believe it and internalize it. Our job as grownups-in-training is to change that belief, start to see our value and internalize that, and let go of the crap we absorbed in the olden days. As we move forward in this, we often find that we can even feel compassion for those sad people who hurt us. Why are we so amazing?

Why do I matter? How am I a wonderful surprise? Why do I own my worth?

Notice how you feel when you are asking these Questions. Notice if your body shifts around. For me, I often find I sit up a bit straighter, and a bit softer. Things relax. And then I know my posture for feeling good, and can put that on when I am asking my Creative Questions for even quicker results.

How have I changed from believing my bad PR to knowing I am a gift?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04292014

How do you matter? Why else do you know you are good enough? If you have found something valuable, or useful here, please interact with the page by + or sharing. Thanks.