The Back Way

The Back Way

I would like to see a show of hands for those of you who think, “Oh, that Pam! She’s fulla beans when she says that things can be easy. Life is HARD!”

Why would I change my mind? How do I know I choose? What makes it all so easy?

How would your life change if you believed life is easy? How would your day change if you thought, “It’s all just so easy.” How would you feel this very moment when you think, “Why could it all be just so easy?”

Do you relax, and breathe a deep breath, or do you clench your fists and think, “LIES!!!”

Sometimes, we have to go around to the back and sneak in to find out what we wanna know.

What is making it so hard?

This is one of those times when we want to find answers, rather than our usual way of letting the answers be quiet in our unconscious minds.

I don’t like the task. I don’t want to be here. I don’t like So and So. I am not good at this. I am too hungry-angry-lonely-tired. I never get what I need. No one understands me. I have to do it cuz no one else can do it right.

Did I hit one of your favorites? My two faves are the first two.

So what I have to do, if I want it to be easy, is find a reason that matters to me for doing the task, and a reason I value for being here. When I do that, everything shifts and I go to easy.

Unless I want it to be hard. Ew. That is a whole ‘nuther kettle of fish.

That taps into the whole martyr thing. Or the perfectionist thing. Sometimes we want people to feel sorry for us. Sometimes it’s asking for help in a really bass-akwards kind of way. When someone asks me how I am and my first response is a how-hard-it-is response, I know I am off path, swimming against the flow, saying no in some way to my life.

And here again, I can go to the back door and sneak in to find out what is going on with me.

What don’t I like about my life?  

In this very moment, our lives are the perfect manifestation of what we are asking for. That can be kind of scary, but once we start looking at what is truly going on, and how that translates into a need or desire on our part, we get some power. For example, I had been feeling stuck in hating my living room arrangement for a while. I felt ashamed when I looked at it, and kind of helpless to change anything. Living rooms for me translate in to being sociable. I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed in my social world. Hmm.

When I came in through the back door, I realized that I needed help, asked my besties to come over, and we brainstormed what I could to to make the space match where I am now. I thought I needed to strip it to the bones to feel ok, ie, move to a deserted island, but they helped me see that I needed mostly to rearrange some things, let go of some things I don’t love, and open up again to loving the space. For me, that translated into paying a bit more attention to what I agree to do, let go of some of those soft addictions that eat up my free time, and spend that time doing things I really love.

Wow.

How could it all be just so easy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04172014

If your life is easy, or hard, + or share. What makes you great?