Counting My Pennies From Heaven

Counting My Pennies From Heaven

What do you think about the big picture?  We have so many words for it; God, The Universe, Force of Nature, Higher Power. We have very strong beliefs in this arena, beliefs for which we are willing to kill each other in huge numbers. Okay. So, we will now quietly leaving this space, and get around to the business at hand.

The question I’m asking is more like this. Do you believe that your environment is malevolent, benign, or benevolent?

I used to believe that people sucked, and God felt sorry for me because he loved me, but wasn’t really gonna do anything.

I don’t think that God is actually something that behaves like a dysfunctional human any more. I’ve kinda decided to go with the notion that God is greater than I can imagine.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve become kinder and more compassionate, so I decided that my higher power is infinitely kind and compassionate. That’s a nice thought, useful, even.

If that’s the case, my belief, then it would follow that the Universe is benevolent towards me. I like that, too. If that’s the case, then the things that occur in my life, and my environment, are meant  to support me.

How would my environment support me? How do my circumstances benefit me?

I mean, what if I am a divine and infinite being who forgot that’s what I am. And, since the universe is divine and infinite, it’s doing everything it can to help me get back there. It provides opportunities and resources for me to chip off that accreted gunk that blocks my memory of my true self. It does everything it can.

So, lately, my environment has been awash in change. Circumstances have been highly charged, emotionally fraught, with changes in the physical look of stuff happening all over. In the olden days I would have freaked out. I would have flipped into cowering, helpless victim, and hated it all.

But, if this is a gift, if these circumstances are here to support me, then all I need to do is find that supportive piece, and apply it.

I find it helpful to label my current gifts from the universe, the pattern or attitude or old trauma I’m being given the opportunity to clean up. Right now I have two big ones up; unchoosing victim, and working through the fear of an old pattern coming up again.

I know I can do this work because I am a resourceful grownup. I don’t need to hide, or run away. Because I am a resourceful grownup, I know that “victim” is a mind-set, and attitude, and I can unchoose it quickly by asking myself stuff like, Why am I strong? How do I know I am capable? How do I know I am competent?

Because I am a resourceful grownup, I know that my fear of that old pattern recurring is about negative thoughts, and I can easily change those with questions like, How have I changed from doing X to doing Y? and How do I feel when I do Y? Then I just need to sit in those new feelings for a while. Sometimes, I have unfinished internal business around that old pattern, and may need to clean that up. Sometimes I need a little help, but I can find help because I am a resourceful grownup.

How have I changed from feeling threatened by my environment to finding my amazing gifts and support?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 04052014

What gifts have you been getting from the Universe lately? Remember to + and share if you like what you find. How do you feel when you recognize the gift?