Finding the Grace of Commitment

Finding the Grace of Commitment

Everybody’s got stuff. Some of us have big stuff, some of us have little stuff. Some of us are wondering about bankruptcy, others are wondering what they are supposed to do with a ten thousand dollar windfall. Some of us are longing for a relationship, others are wondering how to get out of a relationship. Some of us are worried about foreclosure, others are worried about which summer place to buy. We all got stuff.

What makes the difference is simply how we deal, what manner of addressing our stuff are we committed to?

When we have stuff and freak out about it, or get pissed, or resentful, or otherwise bend ourselves out of shape, we make everything harder.

Me, I like easy.

Sometimes, when I get stuff, I flip right  into the upset to start. “When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.” Oy. What a waste of energy. And most of the time, flipping out just makes stuff worse, or at the very most minimum, it puts off getting things resolved.

I am pretty committed to easy, though, and enjoyable, and while a freakout is enjoyable to me in tiny doses, it really isn’t to anyone else, and the cost is pretty high.

I used to think my problem was that I couldn’t commit. That wasn’t the issue. I was committed to having problems. I was committed to making things harder than they needed to be. I was committed to struggle, suffering and misery. All I needed to do was look around at my life to see where my commitments lay. Yuck.

I was committed to low paying jobs that were a ton of work. I was committed to unsatisfying relationships full of strife. I was committed to a hoarding lifestyle full of anxiety and, is the opposite of well being, poor being? Well, whatever it was, that’s what I was committed to.

If there was a way to make it tougher, I was all about it.

Look to your life to see where your commitments lie. Now that you know, you get to choose. Is this what I want to be committed to? Is this how I want my life to be?

What makes me choose my commitments? What makes me decide? Why do I own my commitments?

Because I am committed to being a grownup, or enlightened being, or evolved, or whatever you want to call it, I have to take responsibility for my commitments. I choose to own them, and to follow through on them.

I have to own my errors, I have to own my failures, but I also have to own my successes, take responsibility for my behavior, and remember that I am the creator of my life. I am committed to creating peaceful space in my life, with room for me, and room for you, space where we can do what we need to do to be our best selves.

When we own our commitments, we follow through on them naturally. When we own our commitments, procrastination falls by the wayside because we enjoy them. When we own our commitments, completion also comes naturally, and then we get to celebrate, and boy, do we like to celebrate!

How have I changed from procrastinating and quitting to enjoying follow through and finishing?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 10082013