Seeking Spirit

Seeking Spirit

What do you think about the idea that we are all divine beings? What do you think about the idea that we are sacred? Do you think that’s hooey, or do you get it?

For a long time I was working from a really bad belief. I believed this, but it was way unconscious. I believed that because I felt bad, I was bad.

Now, I really didn’t want you to know what a rotten person I was, so I tried to cover it up by being nice. I worked really hard to prove to me that I was good, while knowing in my heart that I sucked. That was hard. I looked in the mirror, and I saw a liar, a fake, a mask. So I pretended even more. You can imagine what that got me.

How do I know I am sacred? What makes me feel spiritual? How do I value my divinity?

To top it off, I thought that in order to be a spiritual being I had to do fancy religious stuff. I figured I had to be a nun, or a hermitess living in the Boundary Waters. I knew there was no way I could just be me, and be any kind of spiritual person.

I love it when I’m wrong about that kind of thing.

What I discovered was that I had to accept me as I am, gifts and shortcomings, talents and foibles, skills and flaws. That was pretty much it. I am as I am. In this moment, I am perfect.

I have stuff, we all have stuff. I work on it as I remember, but I am no longer convinced I am a bad person pretending to be a good person.

I also discovered that I need to slow down for a while every day. I need to just be for a bit. Generally speaking, I do that on my porch. I look at my little bit of nature; my boxelder maple tree, my lilac bush, my little birds. I look at the sky. I contemplate the flow of traffic. I breathe. I sit on my chair, in my body.

When I do that, when I ask my good Creative Questions, I feel good. I feel innocent. I feel engaged. I frequently feel bliss, in that mundane setting, looking at mundane things, I feel blessed beyond words. I feel connected to something profound and awe-inspiring.

I am spirit.

And, if I am spirit, I am spiritual. I don’t have to try. I don’t have to work at it. I don’t have to spend hours every day in prayer or self-flagellation. All I need to do is slow down and open my heart.

Why would I trust that the Universe provides? How do I live a meaningful life? What makes me feel blissful?

I feel different when I remember that I am a divine and infinite being, that I am more than I can comprehend.

You know how I love a good quote. This is one of my faves:  God is that than which nothing greater can be known. Saint Anselm of Canterbury said that. I like it because it’s so about us. We are so deep, so profound, that even with decades of self study we will only know a fraction of our true selves. If that ain’t the stuff of divinity, I don’t know what is.

How have I changed from feeling like nuthin’ to owning my divine nature?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2014 all rights reserved 05152014

Is there a place you like to go to, like me and my porch? How do you feel when you feel spiritual?

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