The Easy Groove

The Easy Groove

I have a personal triumph to share with you. For the first time in my life, or at least since I was about two, I made it through the month of March without feeling suicidal. I made it through without feeling depressed. I mostly made it through without even feeling blue. I actually felt cheery most days. This was not without action on my part, I’m just saying.

I am not just making stuff up and yammering it at you, I am practicing diligently, as I ask you to do. I have to choose to be happy, and then make adjustments to get there. Just the ways I suggest you try.

Pema Chodron, the famous Tibetan Buddhist teacher,  talks about how not feeling good is a habit, that our natural state is feeling good. I’m not just making this stuff up. As soon as we notice we are not feeling happy; when we notice we are feeling overwhelmed, or ashamed, or exhausted; we need to stop, and readjust back to good.

There are lots of reasons to make that choice over and over, to practice until that path is firmly and clearly delimned in our brains, until it’s an easy groove.

The most important reason is that when we choose to feel good, we feel good. We make better decisions when we feel good. We enjoy being around others when we feel good, and they, in turn, like being around us more when we feel good.

It’s easier for us to stay healthy when we feel good. We sleep better, relax more effectively, enjoy our activities more.

I know some of you think that I’m nuts, or stupid, or don’t understand you and your situation. Perhaps that’s true. Perhaps not. At least consider what I’m saying instead of dismissing it out of hand.

I know chronic pain that is so bad it makes you woozy and makes you cry. Pain that goes on for decades. Pain that eats your sleep, and gnaws your spirit.

I know financial distress with creditors calling, and losing services, and repos, and not having food in the house, and filing bankruptcy.

I know how it feels to be abused for years, feeling like there is no out, feeling like it is deserved. I know how it feels to have to hide it, and feeling ashamed that it’s happening to you.

I know how it feels to live in a house of craziness and feel like you are holding it together all alone.

I know. I choose to feel happy anyway.

I want to live my life by choice, not by habit. I want to think fresh, interesting, supportive thoughts that express my natural state, my natural life. I want to remember that I’m not my circumstances or behavior. I want to remember that, at my core, I’m perfect, that at your core, you are perfect, too. When I am in this space, it is easy. Easy to feel compassion, respect, enjoyment. Easy to do what needs to be done.

How have I changed from thinking misery is eternal to choosing my natural life?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 04042013