Happiness Inside-Outside

Happiness Inside-Outside

Happiness. One of the three big wants most of us have, including health and wealth. Everything else falls into one of those three categories. That trifecta is a primary feature of a natural life; one free from mislearning, bad habitual behaviors, and poor filtering. and what it means is that it’s available to anyone willing to choose and commit to happiness.

I used to think that happiness was an accident of birth, like blue eyes or a mole; you either had it, or not. I knew it didn’t automatically show up with enough money, or beauty, or education, because I knew lots of attractive, degreed people who were rolling in dough who weren't particularly happy.

I also knew that happiness was what I wanted more than anything.

So I tried drugs and alcohol and sex, since TV seemed to indicate that they would make me feel good. Hedonism, they called it. I did the bar and club thing, stayed out too late, ate nasty food, and threw up a lot. It seemed to distract me from my misery for a while, but it also seemed like I felt worse afterwards. I figured there had to be a better path to happiness.

I discovered that I had a lot of junk in my past that made me feel bad. When bad things happened, I hid inside, tucked stuff away, and the events sat there in my unconscious mind, festering. They distorted my view of the world, and those distortions made me think and act in ways that hurt me, hurt you, and made the world seem like a terrifying, place; cold and lonely.

I don’t know why I thought I could feel better than I did. Maybe some part of me remembered being happy, or maybe I heard enough stories of people who had gone from a place of misery to a place of joy. Whatever it was, I stuck with it.

When we choose happiness, and practice being happy on the inside, the outsides get better. There are some things you can do right now to help get there.

You have to decide you will be happy. That means giving up being miserable, and if you are like me, it was like losing a long-time friend. Misery was familiar, and painfully comfortable to me. But I had to let it go, and grieve it. I had to choose to let go of people friends, too. The ones who loved to worry misery with me. I had to change other behaviors, too, that supported me feeling bad like not eating or sleeping enough, not getting any exercise, and watching or listening to the news all the time.

I had to look at my habits and see where I chose misery or anger or the blues. Then I had to notice when I was choosing them, and choose something else to disrupt the habit. Sing a song, jump up and down, call someone who wants me to be happy, too. Sort of like an AA sponsor, I needed Happiness sponsors.

Practice Practice Practice.

Choosing happiness, choosing to be happy from the inside out, isn’t a choice for the weak. Misery, suffering, may be unpleasant, but, once we’ve settled into them, they are so easy. Making the transition from the darkness to the light is challenging, and worth it beyond imagination.

You are worth it.

How have I changed from practicing misery to practicing joy?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05272013