Hot Stuff, You

Hot Stuff, You

You are pretty adorable. I like that about you. It’s pretty easy for me to notice the stuff I like about you. Do you notice it? Do you notice all the ways you are interesting, and compelling, attractive, and lovable?

Do you let us see how adorable you are? Or do you try to hide it behind stuff, so we won’t know?

Sometimes we try to hide our lovableness because we think it makes us seem weak. We have an idea that we need to be tough, invulnerable. We bluster around, being kind of scary. We make “hard decisions” and support them with our actions. We profess to prefer respect over love, hard over soft, cold over warm, steel over velvet. Poor we.

Sometimes we pretend we are adorable. We put on cute, or sweet, or goofy, or nice. Underneath that is a layer of belief that we are disgusting, or unworthy, or cold, or something else unpleasant. We may end up pretending to be ditzy or dumb to cover up that layer, so we seem cute and simple, or goofy and not quite competent. Poor we.

Pretending to be something we are not is exhausting. In some ways, it’s even more exhausting to pretend to be something we really are, but don’t think we are, because of the extra layers.

Our natural selves are adorable. Our natural selves are lovable, and sweet-natured, passionate about our favorite activities, compassionate, attractive, brilliant, peaceful at our core.

As we gather mislearnings through our childhoods, many of us lose track of our natural qualities. We learn to ask bad creative questions. We, of course, then get bad answers. We ask questions like, “Why am I so unlovable? Why am I so ugly? What makes me so unattractive?” Do you see a pattern? Do you have old, bad questions like that?

By transforming our bad questions into good Creative Questions, we transform our life. You can try them on right now. Ask yourself a question like, “Why am I frustrated?” Notice how your body feels when you ask that question. You are asking your unconscious mind, so you may not “hear” the answers in your conscious mind, but we often will feel them in our bodies.

Now ask yourself a question like, “Why do I feel happy and peaceful?” Again, notice how your body feels. This kind of exercise is very useful for several reasons.

One, because it helps us practice flipping bad creative questions into good Creative Questions.

Two, because it helps us notice emotions and feelings in our bodies. It is much easier for me to get to “peaceful” when I know how I feel when I am peaceful. It is easier for me to get to “relaxed” when I know how relaxed feels.

Three, because practicing good Creative Questions changes our thinking from negative, low frequency thoughts that hurt us, and may hurt others, to positive, high frequency thoughts. These are good for us, and for those around us.

How have I changed from feeling unattractive to knowing I am lovable?

(c) Pam Guthrie 2013 all rights reserved 05232013